We should always strive to do our best in all aspects of our lives as we offer our daily activities to God. But what happens when we fall short?
The other morning was really tough. The alarm clock sounded, and it was a struggle to get out of bed. As I picked up my Magnificat to say my morning prayers, I realized that I really didn’t even feel like doing that. I can’t say that I really wanted to do something else, except perhaps going back to sleep. Since that was not an option, I tried to push down those uncooperative feelings and concentrate on the readings. During the few moments of contemplation after reading, I thought about everything I didn’t want to do: get up, eat breakfast, work in the home office, or even to pray. I was trying to ask God for grace, patience, enthusiasm, anything to get me through the day. However, when I thought about how much I really didn’t want to pray, that made me very upset. How can God do anything when I don’t even want to pray?
“So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect,” said Jesus. (Matt 5:48) My attitude, thoughts, and feelings were so far away from perfection at that moment. But just as quickly as I thought that God couldn’t help me because of my poor attitude, the next thought was, “Why not?” God is perfect. He is perfect Love. He wants to help me, bless me, and have His will completed in the person I am. It is only when I limit what He can do with a defeatist attitude. Even then, I’m not completely on my own. Jesus’ descriptive declaration of the Father’s perfection is the culmination of a discourse on loving our enemies. He reminds us that Father “makes His sun to rise on the bad and the good, and causes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust.” (Matt 5:45) God’s blessings are not just for those who “earn” it; if they were, I don’t think there would be many blessings in the world.
It’s times like that when we need to stop and think about the situation. I was trying. I may not have had the best attitude, but I didn’t completely skip my prayer time. I asked for what I needed to get me through the day, committing myself to trying and placing my day in His hands. Was I joyful about it? No. Unfortunately I could not rouse myself to that feeling. But faith is not a feeling. It’s a relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God understands our human limitations and knows that relationships with humans will have ups and downs. All He asks is that we try and trust in His care.