Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Yield of joy

Pain and joy seem to be opposites. Yet, as Christians we are called to rejoice always. Paul says this in the final chapter in his letters to both the Philippians and the Thessalonians. Can joy be found in the midst of trials and pain?

I was chatting with a friend who is preparing for yet another knee replacement. She grew up with juvenile arthritis, so even though she’s lived a life of pain, her mobility is suffering enough to warrant this major surgery. She does seek God’s healing in her life, even if it comes through the ministry of a surgeon. She believes God can heal her, it’s just a matter of finding the right method. While I knew she suffered from back and knee pain, to see her using a cane to get around in her home hurt my heart. I wish I could have said a prayer over her that would relieve the constant reminder of her various medical issues. We talked about pain and what it does, not just to the body but also to a person’s life. With it being so severe, she is limited to how much she can go out for regular activities like Mass and grocery shopping. This makes her world very small and isolating. I know for myself, when I’m in pain I don’t want to be around anyone, because I’m very moody and irritable and I don’t want others to receive that treatment from me. 

This discussion brought to mind a mailing from a religious society that I received a number of years ago while recuperating from kidney stone treatment. I was frustrated with my circumstances, in pain, and very glad that I was the only one in my house because I could be as grumpy as I wanted to be. But the back of the envelope had a quote from a saint saying that one should always smile and find happiness in everything, since our guardian angel is with us at all times. We talked about this and feelings in general. One of the things I realized is that human feelings can be a good thing to help us understand what is going on in our world and our lives. However, we are not called to dwell in our feelings. How we feel is not the measure of how our day is going to be, yet for many that seems to be how we approach our lives. If we feel misery because of arthritis or a job loss, we shouldn’t dwell upon how miserable we are, because we will only intensify the feeling, not relieve it.

The ending of the parable of the sower popped into my head as I thought about this. “But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.” (Matt 13:8) We’re not called to always yield 100 percent of the harvest. Sometimes it will be much less than that, but it’s what we do provide in the harvest of God that matters. If we look at dwelling in joy or misery on a scale of 1 to 10, one may say they feel the pain is a 9 or 10, but they don’t need to focus on that feeling. They can focus on the joy of a friend’s visit, even if on a scale that joy is only a 1 or a 2. Where do you want to spend your time, thinking of the pain or thinking of joy? Can pain distract us from feeling joy? Yes, I’m not going to deny that it does. The pain, trials, and challenges of life provide us the opportunities to choose where we are going to focus how we live our lives: as reflecting the joy of Jesus, no matter how small it is, or wrapped up in what we expect from our lives and how they fall short? 

Each of us has a journey to make during our lifetime and we may never know on this side of heaven why we endure the trials and pains God allows in our lives. Sometimes it may be so that we can be healed by Him through miraculous ways. For others it may be so that others can participate in the healing He provides. And for some it may be a lifelong calling so that they can develop a deeper relationship with Him. Through it all we are called to rejoice in God, so that the harvest at the end of our lives is not a basket with feelings of sorrow and misery, but a basket of joy to place before the Lord. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Choose to believe

The rosary app I sometimes use includes scripture passages to reflect upon at the beginning of each mystery. When the first Glorious mystery comes up, I’ve started to notice the passage they use is from John’s Gospel and has made me look at the Resurrection in a new light. 

After attending years of Masses, especially in the Easter season, we’re all familiar with the various Gospel accounts, however they are often small snippets of the whole account. What started me pondering is the verse from John’s Gospel, “Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed.” (John 20:8). This is the first time that belief is mentioned in regards to the resurrection. But it’s oddly juxtaposed by the following line, “For they did not yet understand the scripture that He had to rise from the dead.” (John 20:9). So what exactly was John believing? Did he believe that Jesus rose? Or did he believe that somehow, in some way, Jesus was alive again? What about Peter? Did he not believe at that point? Did he have to wait to actually see Jesus before he believed? And then later in that chapter of John’s Gospel, we hear about Thomas who refused to believe unless he actually touched the wounds of Jesus.

If we pull back and view the appearances of Jesus after His resurrection as a whole, we see that belief comes to each disciple differently. For John, whose whole Gospel is very much mystical and contemplative, he was able to see and recognize the evidence of Jesus’ resurrection from what was left in the tomb, and more specifically, how the burial cloths were positioned. He may not have fully understood what had happened, but at the very least he knew Jesus was alive. By including the experience of Thomas, John provides hope to those who struggle to believe Jesus is God and Messiah.

We are all called to the tomb. We see the evidence of 2 millennia of belief from people of all walks of life — the saints and blesseds. Do we see and believe? Or do we wait for a personal encounter with Jesus?  As Christians, we are called to believe that Jesus, the Son of God, was born, lived, preached, suffered, died, and rose from the dead 2,000+ years ago. As Catholics, we are called to believe that Jesus is present to us today in the Real Presence of His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Eucharist. We are able to see, talk, and touch Him each time we are at Mass. Do we believe He is with us, or do we suspend our judgement? 

We live in a world of multiple religions where some honor Jesus as a prophet or a great teacher. But that is only a small portion of who Jesus really is. It’s like they accept Jesus’s preaching because that’s what earthly men do, but when it comes to the resurrection, they can’t believe it, because that is something only God can do. We are called to proclaim Jesus as GOD. At each Mass and each opportunity for adoration do we attend with the belief Jesus is God and is present in our lives? This is not just about making an intellectual decision, but rather a life altering one. Either we believe in Jesus and transform our way of life, or we are not believers. To believe is to change from our self-facing desires, to seeking to do God’s will. Again, in this age of self-help books and instant gratification, it’s hard not to choose the comfortable way. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.’” (Matt 16:24) Jesus is clear that we will each have crosses in our lives, but rather than reject them, we must embrace them and follow where He leads. 

Belief in Jesus and living our lives trying to do God’s will leaves evidence in the world. We become agents of God’s goodness and blessings in both small and big ways. We do it, not for our glory, but for the glory of God, to show others they are loved by God and support them in their journey towards a relationship with God. Each day we make our choice to deny ourselves and believe in Jesus so that God’s will may be done in our little corner of the world. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Pray, work, and rest

A few weeks ago the Gospel for one of the weekday Masses was about Jesus being Lord of the Sabbath. That reading made me think of other passages to define what we need to survive: prayer, work, and rest.

Jesus’ disciples were walking along a road and were hungry. They began to pick the heads of grain and munch on them. They weren’t picking it to sell, nor to make any particular dish, just to get a little food in their stomachs. Because it was the Sabbath, the Pharisees quickly passed judgement saying they were unlawfully working on a day of rest. (Matt 12: 1-8) When Father Herman was giving the homily, he identified the disciples’ actions as gleaning. He then referenced that in the book of Leviticus, Jews were specifically instructed not to harvest an entire field, but rather leave some for the poor, the widow, the orphan to glean so that they may survive.

In mandating the Jews refrain from harvesting every single piece of produce, God is giving to the less fortunate the dignity to work for what they consume. Just because they were poor or in reduced circumstances didn’t mean they deserved to be given things on a silver platter. Rather, the poor are to be given the same opportunity to work for what they need, just like those who worked to provide for their families. An example of what this looks like is recorded in the book of Ruth, where Naomi, on behalf of herself and Ruth who are both widows, follow the harvesters in the fields to glean what is left so they can survive. It is Ruth’s compassion for her mother-in-law and her diligence in gathering what she can that she is noticed by Boaz, and becomes not only his wife, but the great-grandmother of King David and an ancestor to Jesus.

Many think that work started because of the first sin, however, that is erroneous. “The LORD God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate and care for it.” (Gen 2:15) Adam was called to take care of the garden of Eden. The work was not a chore to be wearied by, but rather a participation with God in the creation of the world. It is only after the fall that God curses the ground so that the work of producing a harvest is a struggle requiring laborious effort.

The book of Genesis includes the day of rest once God completed creation. God is an infinite being but He blesses the day to make it holy, not for Himself but to be a pattern for all who are created in His image and likeness should imitate by resting from the strenuous effort of toiling to bring forth food and shelter. Rest is important for everyone, but not at the cost of damaging your body by starving. In designating a time for rest, God’s blueprint for life shows that it needs to be balanced with work. Like any other good thing — too much rest, too much food, too much sun — can have negative consequences on our bodies.

These eight lines in Matthew’s Gospel illustrate what it means to be a Christian. Our life is a journey with Jesus and He walks with us. Our life of prayer is similar to the disciples walking with Jesus. The road Jesus chose to walk down with his disciples was next to fields. Similarly, Jesus provides us the opportunities to participate in obtaining what we need, both physically and spiritually. As Lord of the Sabbath, He is merciful towards us and allows rest in proportion to our needs.

“But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.” (Matt 6:33) Jesus tells his disciples that first we need to seek God (pray), and what we need will be given to us. What God gives us, are opportunities to participate in obtaining the goods we need to live on earth, which is times of both work and rest. That is how we need to order our days and our lives: Pray, Work, and Rest.

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Tempted for good

Why does God allow you to be tempted? It’s a question that many wrestle with no matter what they believe. In pondering it recently, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s actually a benefit to us.

Let’s make one thing clear: God does NOT tempt us, ever. God only allows us to be tempted by the fallen angels. God does not want us to choose against Him, but He allows us to make the choice; that’s why we have freewill. Sin is not something that we happen into, but rather a choice we make about a grave moral matter, with our full knowledge and consent. There are three facets where the temptation to sin can benefit us, but only when we have formed our conscience and are knowledgeable of God and His commandments.

Temptation trains us to recognize sin. It only takes a split second for us to think, “should I do this” or “should I say that?” When we start to realize that we’re questioning our actions and responses, this is our conscience working. While we still may choose against God, once we have had the initial thought about the sin, we can reflect on how our response needs to change for the future. 

Now that we’re starting to identify opportunities to sin, temptation can be used to train us how to resist that temptation. While on earth, we will continue to sin and fall from God’s grace. But instead of bemoaning our transgressions, we can rejoice in the ability to practice resisting. Yes, you may fall, but how long has it been since the last time for this same sin? What were the conditions that encouraged the choice? As we start to listen to our conscience, we provide a feedback loop to our thoughts so that we can understand our decision making process. We may commit the same sin again and again, even when we have the intention not to, but when we reflect on our responses, we can improve our choices over time. 

Saying no to temptation is not just about choosing God’s will. It’s also about asking God for help to choose His will for us. When we practice turning away from sinful opportunities, we should also be asking God, the angels, and/or the saints for assistance. It’s not a pass/fail closed-book test, but rather a phone-a-friend opportunity. We can lean on God, tell Him how hard it is to make our choice, ask Him for assistance in saying no. When we are successful in choosing God over sin, notice the peace that comes with that decision. If there is a saint that struggled in the same way, reach out for their continued intercession. 

Lastly, temptation illustrates how our desires can be misleading. Sometimes we really want that piece of cake, but if we already had one piece — or two — another is not what our bodies need; it is a gluttonous act. Our feelings and desires are good things, but not when we become a slave to them. How we feel will change from moment to moment and will never be fully satisfied on earth. And when that extra piece of cake results in a stomach ache, our desires have brought us harm rather than happiness. 

While we should never actively look for temptation, having the perspective of how it can benefit us can reduce our fear of it and our disappointment when we fall. God uses all things — including our sins, our sufferings, our temptations — to strengthen our relationship with Him.

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

God’s timing

This is not the post I wanted to write. Right now I’m trying to trust in God’s timing, because I do believe He knows what is best for me. However, I don’t know what that is, so each day has a level of struggle to it. But this is exactly what it means to be a Christian — to believe in the midst of the struggle.

In March I found out that the company I was working at was reorganizing and that as of the middle of June, I would no longer have employment there. While I was panicked at first, I did find peace as the details solidified around the timing. I had three months to start my job search and I put my whole effort into it. I even got as far as a final interview, and was wondering if I would stay until my end date. I was looking forward to writing about a post of how God took care of me (as He always does) and how wonderful He is. It’s now July and I have not found employment yet. I’ve submitted over 100 applications, and have some interest, but nothing further. Does that mean that God is not taking care of me? No, I know He still is. Does that mean He’s not wonderful? No, God will always be wonderful, no matter what happens. 

Some days, I can lean in and find true peace. I am calm and can find joy in the small things, and even in the crazy way my cats behave. Other days are more challenging. Some days are rather soggy; it can be frustrating to start crying without any specific thing prompting it. Then there are the days that I feel the struggle so deeply, that I feel ashamed at not having enough trust in God. The shame, though, is not from God, but from the evil one who wants me to break my faith in God. Even Jesus, when praying in the garden of Gethsemane, said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will.” (Mark 14:36) While I start each morning with the surrender novena, this is the hardest season of practicing trust in God that I have experienced thus far. 

If I was in a position to retire, I think I’d be okay in filling my days with various activities and volunteer events. I am enjoying attending Mass during the weekday, and it’s a great way to get the day started. However, my days are filled with online job searching, applying, tracking the applications, and all the other little details that one doesn’t think about unless they are in these circumstances. I’m using the LinkedIn app, which is part job postings and part professional social media. Some of the posts indicate that folks have been searching for six months, a year, or even longer. Some are on the verge of losing their home. I need to find something within the next six months, or I fear I will lose my home too. As hard as it sounds, that may be God’s will for me. Just the thought brings me to tears. In the book of Job, he lost everything. While he questioned God, he didn’t turn away from Him, and was rewarded with an even richer life. I know I’m no Job, but I have jokingly said to God that the longer it takes for me to find a position, it better be something grand.

We are called always to rejoice in God, no matter what we are facing. “God gives and God takes away; blessed be God,” is one of the phrases that comes to mind. As much as I do try to find joy in the little things, when tears are streaming down my face, words seem impossible, let alone trying to praise God in that moment. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m still on a faith journey, which won’t end in this lifetime. Another reminder is the saying, “God does not give us more than we can handle.” While that is meant to be a comfort, sometimes it feels that God has way more confidence in what I can handle than I do. I am practicing my trust in God. I am trying to put my faith over my fears of what’s to come. As someone who plans things out in advance, these circumstances are especially stressful. It’s definitely giving a whole new meaning to the words of the Our Father, “give us this day our daily bread,” where we ask for just what we need for the day we are in. 

I know God loves me, no matter what happens, and He will see me through it, no matter how unpaletable it is to me. The job market is saturated with all the layoffs happening all over the country. I pray for all of those who are in the same struggle I am. Yet, my prayer is my favorite first two lines of Psalm 103: 

Bless the LORD, oh my soul; and all my being, bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, oh my soul; and forget not his benefits.

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Freedom to choose

May God bless America on this 250th anniversary of the declaration of independence and guide us for many more centuries to come!

I was delayed in writing this week’s post because I wanted to incorporate something about this auspicious commemoration of the founding of the country. I kept turning over in my head thoughts of freedom and liberty, but nothing seemed to really jump out to me. Finally, on this special day itself, the scripture passage that came to me was:

“As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
(Jos 24:15)

As I researched this passage from Joshua, it is when the Israelites made it into the Promised Land and conquered those living there. Joshua assembled the people and gave a recap of all that God had done for them, starting with Abraham. He then warned them about choosing which deity they will worship, one from their surrounding neighbors or the Lord God. The people respond in full agreement they would serve the Lord and follow all His commandments. This stirred my memory for when Moses did something similar before the people entered the Promise Land. Just before Joshua is commissioned to lead the Israelites and Moses dies, Moses issued the following to the people:

“I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the LORD, your God, obeying his voice, and holding fast to him.”
(Deut 30:19-20)

While historians claim Thomas Jefferson, the drafter of the Declaration of Independence, was not a Christian, he did at least believe in God. In the famous and often recited preamble to the founding document, it states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Regardless of the religious denomination, Jefferson and all the signers all acknowledged God and His gift of freewill in the form of liberty. I would like to think it was purposeful that the founders placed the country under the protection and guidance of God with these words. Just as Moses reminded the Israelites to choose God and His will prior to battles for the Promised Land, the Declaration served as a call to arms for all the colonists in 1776, reminding them of God and the liberty He gave them to choose.

Our founding documents are rich in references to the scriptures and there can be no argument that the United States was founded as a Christian nation. Each generation of Americans must ask themselves the same question that Joshua asked the people: who will you serve? While the United States does not claim one particular religious denomination and allows all people to choose which church they will support, we are meant to be a moral people adhering to the basic laws of God. Our consciences are to be formed by our faith. When we serve God and do His will, we will naturally create a community, a state, and a nation that supports our fellow countrymen. When we are selfish and choose our own will, then we turn away from not just God, but our neighbor as well.

This great experiment of government by the people has lasted 250 years. It has been far from perfect, but that is a natural reflection of the imperfection of humanity itself. As we look forward to the next 250 years, let us remember that freedom is not free, as it is paid for by each war we fight to keep it so, and the liberty that God gives us is to seek to do His will in all parts of our lives: spiritually, socially, and civically. Let us choose Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of God!

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Faith AND works

Are you saved by your faith or by your works? This has been a hotly debated topic for several centuries. While some may say that question has been definitively answered — which could be for either option — what is a Catholic supposed to believe?

No one can save themselves, no matter what they do. The cost of sin is beyond our ability to pay and Jesus, through His Passion, Death, and Resurrection, has restored our ability to have a relationship with God. But that doesn’t mean that we are not without responsibility for our salvation. In the Bible study I attend, we have been reading from the letter of James via the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible for the New Testament, and it has a spotlight on the faith versus works argument. It juxtaposes the following versus:

“See how a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.”
James 2:24

“For we consider that a person is justified by faith apart from works of the law.”
Romans 3:28

Some may contest this as a contradiction within the scriptures. However the commentary explains that Paul and James are writing about two different occasions. Paul is talking about a pre-conversion approach while James is speaking from a post-conversion perspective. For those who do not have a relationship with God, they will never be able to do anything to have a relationship with Him, if they believe that their actions are required for God to notice them. It is only when they accept the Triune God and seek faith in Him, that they are able to journey towards a lasting relationship with Him. This is why Paul is saying it is through faith alone, since it is step one on a faith journey.

Conversely, James is addressing those who have already accepted God through Jesus. His point is that we don’t continue to do whatever we used to before we believed in God, but we change, we repent, and by our actions we demonstrate the faith journey we are on. When we have a relationship with God, we want to get to know Him better, we read scripture, we ponder the teachings of Jesus and attempt to put them into practice. Our love for God should spill out into the corporeal and spiritual works of mercy. We do need to be mindful, however, of the reason we are doing them: for love of God. If we are performing good actions for everyone to praise us, then we are making ourselves into God, rather than letting Him take the glory and praise. 

After our group discussed this, the next day’s Mass reading was from Matthew and seemed to concretely address the faith versus works question. “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,* but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.” (Matt 7: 21, emphasis added) Jesus is clearly indicating that we need to seek to do God’s will. While our faith should lead us to good works, it is when we have a strong relationship with God and allow Him to direct our actions that will result in our welcome into heaven. Jesus even gives examples of those who prophesy and do “mighty deeds” for those who may be denied heaven. God is not a pushover; it’s not enough just to be “nice” and to say we believe in God. But it comes back full circle in that we cannot do anything by ourselves, we need to rely on God.

As Catholics, we are called to believe in both faith and works. Faith will prompt us to convert, repent, and turn to God. Works will be how we participate with God in seeing His will be done on earth. God does not want the status quo, He wants us to always be growing in our relationship with Him, trusting Him, and allowing Him to guide us through our life’s journey. When we embrace God’s guidance and follow His will, we will be exemplifying our faith through our works. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Fatherly role model

This weekend is Father’s Day and I’ve been thinking about the life of Saint Joseph. While we may not know as much about him as we do Mary or Jesus, I think there is enough evidence of how much of a fatherly role model he displays.

While there are no words attributed to Joseph in scriptures, that doesn’t mean he was mute. We would not know the details of his dreams unless he shared them with another, most likely his wife Mary. And the first dream we hear about in Matthew is about Mary. “Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly.” (Matt 1:19) When I read this one verse, I think of Joseph as a human parallel to God. He seeks both justice and mercy at the same time. If it was by means other than the Holy Spirit, Mary would have had to face consequences, however Joseph wasn’t interested in a harsh punishment, the divorce alone would have been enough. Many times it seems that justice and mercy need to be at odds and that you can’t have both. But Joseph shows that it is possible in the course of normal human judgements. God shows it’s possible when He sent Jesus to be our Savior, taking on the burden of sin and restoring the ability of humanity to have a relationship with God.

God allowed Joseph to wrestle with the issue of Mary’s pregnancy and come to a decision before He intervened. We don’t know how close Joseph came to divorcing Mary, only that his decision was made. Yet, Joseph was open to God’s will and to God changing his mind. Did God communicate at other times with Joseph via his dreams before this? We don’t know. Either Joseph knew how God communicated with him and accepted the change in plans, or he really did want to marry Mary. Maybe it’s both! However, since God uses dreams three more times to communicate to Joseph what to do, I think God may have been guiding Joseph this way for a while. Here again Joseph is being a role model in having a relationship with God, being able to recognize when God is directing him, and responding to God’s will. Joseph also trusted God when the way forward was dangerous and unexpected. He took Mary and baby Jesus to Egypt, provided for them, and kept them safe.

The last time we see Joseph is when Jesus is so-called lost in the Temple. While it may appear that Joseph was neglectful in his parenting duties, Jesus was old enough to, well, know better. If Joseph and Mary both thought Jesus was part of the traveling group amongst their friends and relatives, he was probably an early teenager or just about that age. Jesus probably had responsibilities at home, and maybe while traveling too. Here again, Joseph does not let Jesus face the consequences of His action of staying behind. Rather, Joseph and Mary pursue finding Jesus to return Him to their household. Joseph may only be a foster father to Jesus, but he seeks a relationship with his son. Fathers are not meant to raise their children and then cut all ties, but to continually seek out their children and reinforce the bond of kinship between them. This mirrors the way God is always inviting us to a closer relationship with Himself.

Although Jesus has a Divine Father, He also had an earthly one. God felt it was important that Jesus have a father figure in His life. While Joseph was not perfect like God the Father, he nevertheless dedicated himself to God and God’s will being done on earth. The scriptures could have been written with very little mention of Joseph, but God wanted us to know the actions of Joseph and to see him as a role model, both as a father and as a seeker of God’s will.

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Spiritual noise

Prayer is essential to the Christian life. Sometimes we feel that we’re doing well with it and other times we feel that we’re just going through the motions. For those challenging times, what do you do? Do you power through it? Or skip it? Have you ever wondered why it was happening?

Recently I had a challenging situation with a smoke alarm. The battery in the upstairs hallway, over the steps, decided that its life was almost finished. Due to the location combined with my vertical challenge, I was unable to reach it. At first it would beep a number of times then stop. While it was annoying, I figured I could power through it until my nephew came over, which he was scheduled to do later in the week. However, two days before his arrival, the battery decided that it was going to make sure I knew it needed to be changed. It chirped every few minutes for most of the day. Since I work from home, I heard it all day and most of the evening. I thought it would eventually give out. Nope, while it would stop for a few hours every so often, it was still periodically chirping when my nephew came. After he changed the battery, the silence was bliss! Even my cats seemed to enjoy the quiet. I realized how much that one, simple, periodic noise affected me. I was exhausted from filtering it out. I then started to wonder if there is a parallel of spiritual noise that affects our prayer? Is this why prayer sometimes feels like another item to check off on our daily list of things to do?

God hears all prayers. Yet knowing how sinful we are can seem to prevent us from reaching out to God. If we want to be forgiven, we do need to pray: to prepare for confession, in the sacrament, and afterwards. For minor sins that we may not need to immediately run to confession, but if we repent, ask God for forgiveness, and make a resolution to avoid the sin, this could be all we need at the moment. But our sinful nature can distort our thinking, making us question if God will hear our prayers as a sinner, or remind us how often we fall and that we should wait a bit longer before reaching out. This kind of thinking is a spiritual noise that we need to be on guard against. 

Prayer is a conversation with God. In it we are to adore Him, be contrite for our sins, thank Him for His blessings, and petition Him for those who need His aid. Sometimes our attitude towards prayer can be more of ordering from a fast food drive thru rather than a holy chat. We quickly offer up a prayer and expect it to be addressed in the way we want it to be. To be sure, a quick prayer for a friend in need or to say thank you for a blessing is never wrong, but we need to make sure of our attitude when we pray. Expecting God to answer prayer is also not a bad thing, but expecting Him to answer it the precise way we want things to happen is not appropriate. That is asking God to do our will rather than leaving Him to answer it in the best way He sees fit, not just for life now, but for eternal life. Our own attitude can be a spiritual noise that prevents us from seeing God’s intervention in our lives. 

While I’m sure there are other sources causing spiritual noise, what can we do about it? First, we need to acknowledge that something is keeping us from a fruitful prayer life. Given how blissful silence is in a physical sense, perhaps seeking a quiet, holy place is the answer. An adoration chapel is ideal, since you can visually focus on Jesus in the Eucharist. Any chapel or church with a tabernacle would also be conducive to reconnecting with God. If neither option is possible, a quiet place wherever you are with a visual focus like a cross or an image of Jesus could also be used. Then just be with God. Know that He is there with you. Focus on His presence and open yourself to Him. You don’t need to talk, you just need to be open and listen. You may not hear anything or feel anything. You may even need to repeat the exercise. The important thing is to be open and let God lead you. 

Spiritual noise can affect our prayer life. But we have the communion of saints, Blessed Mother Mary, and our Triune God who all want us to have a healthy and fruitful prayer life. Let us be mindful of our prayers and seek the silence when we need it. 

Humble love

God loves us. We don’t need to do anything but just be and He loves us. How do we respond to such a magnificent gift?

God is our creator and knows more about us than we do of ourselves (or maybe that we’re willing to admit). He wants us to be the best we can be. He made us in His image and likeness, so that the more we grow into a relationship with Him, the more we can reflect His image back to Him as well as to those we encounter. Most people are aware of their flaws and try to hide or overcome them. To know God loves us as we are in this moment — flaws and all — can be overwhelming and incomprehensible. It is easy to discount God’s love and turn away from Him because of our brokenness. A humble person will not turn away but lean in on God to heal their defects. It may take a lifetime of work on both our part as well as with God’s help, but if we turn our flaws over to Him, he can guide us through our journey.

It can be intoxicating to think about the love God has for us. Rather than learning more about God and having a relationship with Him, we can think that His love allows us to do anything we want, especially if He loves us with whatever sins are on our souls. This “it doesn’t matter” approach is prideful love, more about loving oneself than God. While God does love us as we are, He does not want us to stay as we are, but grow in love and holiness for Him. If we continue to think that we don’t have any changes to make in our lives, our attitudes, or our habits, we will not grow as a person, but rather be stuck in a false reality that we have grown accustomed to. When we deny our sins, our lives and relationships are mere shadows of what they could have been.

Jesus came to be our savior and redeemer at a particular place and time. In a letter to the Romans, Paul states, “Indeed, if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, how much more, once reconciled, will we be saved by his life.” (Rom 5:10) God has given us the way to a life with Him through Jesus. For those who turn away because of their flaws, they can be forgiven through the mercy of Christ. This means turning away from our flaws and fighting the bad habits we have that lead us into sin. We can’t do it on our own, which is why we have the Mass, the Sacraments — especially Reconciliation and the Eucharist, and the Church to aid us throughout our lifetime. God does not expect us to fix ourselves before we turn to Him, He wants us to turn to Him so that He can help heal us and overcome our sinful nature through the Church He left us. 

God loves us so much that He allows us to choose. We can choose to love Him or we can choose to love ourselves. God respects our free will and will not force us to choose a relationship, or eternity, with Him. He will pursue us and give us every opportunity to meet us where we are and to learn about Him and learn to love Him while we are on earth. Spending our time on earth in love with ourselves will distort our ability to recognize God and choose Him at the moment of our death. Let us choose to love God now with humble and contrite hearts.