The final sorrow

It seems fitting that during Holy Week, as we approach the Triduum, we pause to remember the seventh and final sorrow of Mary: Jesus is laid in the tomb. (John 19:39-42)

After a gruesome crucifixion, Jesus was really and truly gone from this life. The only thing left was to bury His remains. And the tomb seems to be a finality of his essence. All that promise of everlasting life, of healing, and of love, now seems lost. 

Due to the solemnity of the sabbath, Jesus had to be hastily buried. Even in the final moments of tending to His body, He could not receive the attentive preparation that was the norm. This must have added insult to pain Mary was already feeling from Jesus’ death. If Mary was there at the foot of the cross, I’m sure she was there at His tomb. Did she help arrange His body inside of the carved rock? Perhaps. Most likely, though, she had to watch as others rolled the large stone that sealed the entrance.

We know Mary had complete trust in God. If this was His will, while she may not have understood it completely, still she tried her best to be the support Jesus needed in His last moments. Did Mary stay and grieve at the rock tomb? I think anyone who has ever buried a loved one can have empathy for what Mary felt at that moment. The question of lingering because you don’t want to completely say goodbye, but knowing that there is nothing you can do and staying there staring at the gravesite will change nothing. Jesus did not leave her completely alone, as He put her into the care of the beloved apostle John. 

Mary still had a purpose on earth, and the first step was to keep living. That in itself can be its own sorrow — moving on when such a large portion of your life is absent. Even if Mary had understood all of Jesus’ teachings and knew He would rise again in three days, the pain of seeing Jesus being tortured to death may not have allowed Mary to focus on that future event. While the Acts of the Apostles record Mary as being present at Pentecost, perhaps that was not the only time the Apostles gathered around her. Maybe God allowed her to be present and be the unifying element for the Apostles in the time immediately after Jesus’ burial. Gathering around her, they would have shared their common grief and their common hope in God’s will. 

While most of the Apostles were looking for an earthly kingdom, the burial of Jesus gave them time to reflect on the time they spent with Jesus and all that He communicated to them. I can imagine the eleven men, maybe more and perhaps with the women who accompanied the traveling party, simultaneously shedding tears and recalling the events that had the most impact on them. This time of “remember when …” would be the first oral Gospel as they shared the memories, maybe even mingling some laughter in with the tears.

“…for nothing will be impossible for God,” the angel had told Mary at the Annunciation. (Lk 1:37) Those words ran deeper than just the incarnation of Jesus or the fruitfulness of her barren relative Elizabeth. God had given Mary the ability to cope with being exiled in Egypt, with losing Jesus in the Temple in His last vestige of childhood, with prompting Jesus to perform His first miracle, and with everything He accomplished in His ministry, even to His passion and death. I wouldn’t be disappointed if Mary felt overwhelmed with these last events, and perhaps it would make her seem more relatable if she did. However, in our moments of greatest trials, God has given us Mary as a role model to follow in trusting Him. When in our toughest challenges we can say that all things are possible for God and we can get through this, we do so because of what was shared in the Gospels about Mary.

The stone rolled to seal Jesus in His tomb, while it may have seemed final, was not the end of the story. Mary didn’t know how the story would end, but we do. We know that life does not simply end on earth, but the soul continues to live on and can potentially be in the presence of God and all who love Him. The tomb is the final sorrow, because what comes next will overwhelm any pain or trial. But to get there, Mary and all the disciples needed to lean on God for strength and support. They needed to trust in His will. 

Let us pray this Holy Week that we too, may trust in God even when things seem impossible, and ask Mary to help lead us through the finality of the tomb-like darkness we experience in this life. 

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