On a physical level, it seems that we are born into this world with nothing and leave it just the same. But that outlook does not take into account our relationships and experiences. We are not only just individual persons with our own experiences, but also a family, a community, a society of interactions.

I recently caught a portion of a video in which the commentator said he believed in individualism. He felt sacrifices for the larger community was foolishness and that all our experiences were at an individual level. While I initially skipped past the video, I was bothered by it. I don’t know if the author has any religious affiliation, however, I don’t see how a person could believe in God and also think that, basically, the world was all about himself. I then wondered if he was married, as surely that construct would be the antithesis of individualism. If he is married, perhaps it is an illustration of how much society is devaluing marriage. When I start to ponder something that agitates me, I know the only way I can put it to rest is to confront it with what I believe.

A person is created through the relational acts of his/her parents and with the blessing of God infusing a soul into the conceived embryo. Our beginning is not that we just pop into existence, but that our existence is a result of actions. Our first experience, not that we are aware or understand, is that of being in the womb, where our mother nourishes us for the time of our gestation. We live and grow within the relationship of our mother’s care. From the very first moments of our lives, we have an impact on others and they also have an impact on us. While our physical dependence is on our mother, the family to which we are born into is also impacted by our existence, since pregnancy does affect many aspects of the mother’s life. Some expectant mothers may have extra energy, while others require more rest. Some have crazy cravings for peculiar food combinations, while others struggle to keep food down. All of these changes have an impact on her family, unbeknownst to the child developing inside her. 

Our dependency does not stop once we are born, as it will take many years for a child to mature and be able to care for his/her self. At an individual level, our experiences during our growing years will be unique for each person and will shape us into the person we eventually become. But it’s not just physical growth that we experience, but also mental, emotional, societal, and spiritual growth as well. We observe the world around us and make decisions based on what experiences we have. From an individual perspective, we do make choices of how we react and behave, but often it is prompted by the actions of others around us. If someone makes a joke, we laugh. If someone is sad and cries, we may cry with them or offer a shoulder for them to cry on. If we have good news to share with others, we want them to celebrate and be happy with us. Even after we reach the point of being able to care for ourselves, our family and community are hugely impactful in our lives. No matter how independent we are, or think we are, we always rely on God’s grace and blessing to keep us in this world.

Sacrifice could be a whole blog topic itself. However, the context of the comment about it being foolish caused me to feel rather indignant. We make sacrifices to live at a very basic level. We need to work in order to have a home, food, transportation, and so forth. We give up our time to earn money; that’s one aspect of sacrifice. Perhaps because we decide how the earned money is spent, it may not be seen as a sacrifice by those believing in individualism. Another sacrifice is being part of a family, we give up our time to spend with them, help them, and celebrate with them. Love is a sacrifice; sometimes it’s easy and doesn’t seem like any effort and other times it can feel painful. If believing that sacrifice for others is foolish, what does that do to the person’s community? Do they walk away from their family and change friends frequently to avoid foolish actions? I suspect that those subscribing to individualism probably choose some sacrifices willingly, but may use their philosophy to avoid others. 

Our lives are a tapestry of experiences with others. Even if we choose to spend time alone, our relationships and memories will continue to influence us in these moments. If we are shunned by all, we still will not be alone. God will remember us, since “upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you.” (Isaiah 49:16)