Theotokos was once seen as a source of conflict. It means “Mother of God” or “or God-bearer.” In the early Church, there was debate over Mary being the Mother of God, since God is not a created being, yet she is the Mother of Jesus, who is the second person of the Triune God. The Council of Ephesus in the early 5th century confirmed this title on Mary, and the Eastern Church uses Theotokos as one of the titles for Mary.

No one questions that Mary did, indeed, give birth to Jesus. However, recently I was asked, if Mary was conceived without the stain of original sin, did she suffer in childbirth? My very first reaction was to shrug it off to say it doesn’t matter, it’s not a detail worth investigating. But as someone who has never given birth, that perspective could be rather myopic. Perhaps it’s better to take a step back and look at the whole picture of Mary and how God prepared her to be Christ’s mother. 

The fall of Eve produced the following two-fold curse: “I will intensify your toil in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Gen 3:16) Eve’s curse is to desire her husband, and the fruit of that is a child. Thus while the desire is initially satisfied with pleasure, the pain of childbirth would be intensified or prolonged, seemingly to be a punishment for the initial desire. Yet, once the child comes, the desire does not go away, and the “curse” begins its cycle again. 

Because God intervened at Mary’s conception to keep her free from the taint of original sin, her desire was to please God. Mary was already betrothed to Joseph when Gabriel came to seek her consent. She was going to be a married woman. Perhaps if she did not give birth to the Son of God, she would have had a large family. Mary’s fiat to God’s plan turned her into a living tabernacle, a living ark of the covenant. What little of Joseph we do know, is that he understood the history of the Israelites and the covenant. He would be familiar with the ark, and that no one but the priests could touch it. He would have been familiar with the account of Uzzah, who reached out a hand to steady a tipping ark during its trip back to Jerusalem at the time of David, and was struck down because he was not worthy to do so. (2 Sam 6:6-9) Joseph realized just how special Mary and Jesus were, he would respect her and not seek to despoil her. From this viewpoint, the second portion of Eve’s curse is irrelevant. And for those who question when the various books in the New Testament refer to Jesus’ brothers, the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains the expression is used for those who have a close relationship in the Old Testament. (CCC 500)

Mary made many journeys as a pregnant woman: first to visit Elizabeth in the hill country of Judah (perhaps a “suburb” of Jerusalem?) and back north to Nazareth, and then back south beyond Jerusalem to Bethlehem to eventually give birth. Travel then was long and arduous, regardless of whether she traveled by foot, donkey or cart. After giving birth to Jesus, when she and Joseph took Jesus to the Temple, Simeon predicted a sword piercing her heart, which, while metaphoric, was a true suffering she experienced standing at the foot of the cross. The Church includes Simeon’s prophecy as the first of seven named sorrows that Mary endured. 

If we look again at Genesis, the translation uses the word “intensify,” which to me indicates that there would have been some duration of discomfort and/or pain associated with birth even before the fall of Eve. While the New Testament and Catechism is silent on the detail of how much pain Mary suffered during the birthing process, she would have had some level. But she certainly knows the pain when a child goes missing, is wrongfully accused, tortured, and put to death. Her solace in all of it was the grace of God. He prepared her to be the mother of His Son, and in doing so supported her during all her trials. 

After the visit of the shepherds, “Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) The grace of God was alive in Mary, even before becoming Jesus’ mother, and intensified afterwards.  On the cross, Jesus gave Mary as mother to John, who represents the Church body throughout the ages. Mary had, and continues to have a relationship with God that is like no other. It is with confidence that we seek her intercession, aid, and assistance in praising God. And if God could prepare Mary so well to be Theotokos, how can we not think that He will prepare us for every blessing and trial in our life … if we let Him.