I’m still very new to weaving, as it’s almost been about 16 months since I took a 3-day weaving class and bought a used 4-harness floor loom. I’ve created some scarves from following a training video for new weavers and some hand towels from a kit I purchased while during my class. I have plenty of things I want to accomplish with it, but I seem to be stuck.

While I’m new to weaving, I’ve been a spinner for about 30 years. I may not have spun regularly throughout that timeframe, but I’ve amassed enough handspun (and more!) to knit a vest that I wore on a cruise to Alaska last year. Yet it’s only recently that I realized I’m doing the same thing in my approach to weaving as I did with spinning: letting the fear of ruining the fiber hold me back from trying. When I was first spinning, I bought lots of different fiber types, and some of the more luxury kinds like cashmere and qiviut, ones that need to be spun very finely, I put off to spin “when I was more comfortable with it.” The trouble with that mindset is that it’s very subjective, there is nothing that quantifies when I’ve reached the experience level needed to tackle those fibers. As I was preparing for my cruise last year, I realized that I had purchased qiviut (the down fiber of a musk ox which is only found above the Arctic Circle) on my first trip to Alaska over a decade ago, and had never spun it. I just couldn’t go on this cruise without doing something with it! While the consistency of the yarn could have been better, once I knit it into a headband to wear on the cruise, I achieved my goal of using the finished article. 

As we journey down life’s road, we can let similar fears make us stuck in our spiritual life. We get into a familiar routine and habits, and we coast along, not even realizing that we are stuck and our growth is stunted. There’s only 24 hours in a day, and most of that is taken up with work, chores, sleeping, and eating; how can we squeeze more time for spiritual devotions? If we attend more than just Mass on Sundays and perhaps pray morning and evening prayers along with a rosary, what more can we do? Some might take a Bible class or assist with a church ministry, doesn’t that “count?” Practicing our faith in prayers and works is always good, but perhaps we stick with these routines because they are comfortable. God may have introduced these practices, simply for that aspect: to learn to practice the faith. But we can’t learn anything new if we don’t try.

Learning can be painful; but some of the best lessons we learn is how not to do something. And whether it is fear or ruining fiber and yarn, or fear of what God is calling us to do next, opening up to new experiences can be scary and disappointing at times. However, the fruit of our labors will be sweet and delicious. I loved wearing my handknit headband and vest in Alaska. And I know pursuing a deeper relationship with God will not only bring me closer to Him in this life, but will help prepare me to spend eternity with Him. 

Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way in order to move forward. We read the parables Jesus taught about the shepherd leaving the 99 sheep to search for the lost one or about the prodigal son, and we think that’s for those who don’t believe. But would the God of Love not seek us out when we are stuck in the quicksand of our own fears? Just as Jesus reached out His hand to the fear-filled Peter as he began to sink in the waves, He will reach out to us to help get us unstuck. We need to be ready to ask and accept the help He gives us in whatever way He does, especially when that way is unexpected and surprising.

I have quite a supply of yarn. As I was planning on working a scarf kit on my loom, I realized that if I was so fearful of messing it up, I could try that same pattern with yarn that I was not as concerned about. The measurements may be a bit off, since the yarn for the kit is much finer, but I could at least practice before using the yarn from the kit. Plus I’m making fabric, does it really have to be a scarf or could I make it into something else if I really didn’t like it once it was off the loom? God has given my creativity a whack to unstick me from my fear of weaving. Now it’s my turn to be open to what He has planned next for my spiritual journey….