Beautiful bad day

Everyone suffers from a bad day occasionally, though the definition of such a day can vary greatly from person to person. While it may seem contradictory,  positive words can describe a bad day allowing us to find beauty in them much like we do a good day.

I often think days we would describe as being bad simply illustrate that we are not in control. Recently I had a day that I would at least describe as a challenging, if not completely a bad day. I had in mind how certain events would go and they didn’t happen that way at all. Some circumstances I was confident wouldn’t be an issue ended up surprising me by being problematic. When confronted with events unfolding other than what was expected, it really throws off your whole outlook and you begin to question everything. When you add onto that the normal difficulties any day can serve up — dropping items, cleaning up spills, and so on — you can feel the weight of uncertainty and trouble practically anchoring you in place. Yes, I did call out to God and the saints for help and I know they were there with me all day even though my prayers weren’t answered in the way I wanted them to be. I know God answers all prayers, and it’s difficult when the answer is either “No,” or “Not right now.”

I firmly believe in God’s plan for me, even if I can’t always discern it. While I strive to be open and do His will, challenging days leave me bewildered. I reflect on the lives of saints, a number of whom had a sickly constitution and were rejected by multiple religious orders until they found an order that would accept their situation. They are usually described as being gentle and demonstrating great patience. Yet anyone who’s ever been ill knows how difficult it is to be nice to people when you’re not feeling well. They go on to do so many great and wonderful things, it’s no wonder that they are named a saint! But part of me wonders if they ever had a bad day, despite their condition. Yet, when you distill the whole of a person’s life down to just a few paragraphs, you’re going to highlight the best in a person. The bad days the saints experienced did not define their life, even if those days did shape and adjust the trajectory of their lives. 

As I was going through my bad day, I started to wonder if I was allowing God to be God? What can I learn by letting things unfold, even if it seems to be more work for me? Is this an opportunity to practice humility? I have a list of chores that need to get done and I expect to do them a certain way, but when a bad day interrupts my plans, how gracious am I to allow it? If this bad day was a test, then I failed miserably. I don’t like using bad language, but a bad day seems to rewire my brain so that at every challenge some ugly word is spoken aloud. I feel totally frustrated and like I have absolutely no patience left. Yet I know, despite not feeling one sentiment of peace, God is with me through it all. 

Looking back at what happened and how I reacted, I do feel guilty for not handling it better and definitely felt unworthy to pray to God. But that is exactly what Satan wants us to believe. He possesses the remarkable ability to discern our difficult days, and he intensifies them with his own distinctive, unconventional perspective. Perhaps this is really the true test of a bad day, not so much how we handled the events themselves, but the perspective afterwards. Do we continue to turn to God? Do we allow the remorse of our actions and responses lead us to Jesus for mercy, forgiveness, and peace? Or do we cling to how bad of a day the events were and how miserable they make us feel? 

Bad days are an inevitable part of the human experience. They also provide valuable opportunities for self-reflection and strengthening one’s faith and reliance on God.

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