relationship with God

Catholic Girl Journey

The gift of time

We measure it in the smallest of increments. We use it to mark milestone achievements and to remember special occasions. We complain about never having enough, but usually waste more of it than we should. Time is a precious gift from God, when have you thanked Him for it?

Time and space are two aspects that apply to God’s creation, but not to God. He is beyond time and space since He is eternal. He is without beginning or end. Yet He chose to become a part of His creation at a particular moment. Jesus, the second person in the Triune God, experienced the effects of a body changing from a wee  babe to an adult man. I wonder if, as a child, was He able to heal Himself immediately after scraping His knees? Or was He patient and let His body heal over time? He celebrated special occasions, like the wedding feast of Cana. And He experienced tears as He wept at Lazarus’ tomb, even though He knew He would bring him back to life. Being united with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit did not lessen the intensity of the pain and suffering of His Passion and Death; He felt each strike and lived each moment of agony. Yet it was all a gift of time for us.

Being in time and space allows us to journey, to prepare ourselves for eternity. We are given the option to choose: with God or without God. In order to be able to make the final choice upon death, we need to know a bit about what we are either choosing or declining. Every day we get the opportunity to meet God through His creation and learn more about Him. We get to practice following the example that Jesus gave us. If we say ‘no’ to Him one day, we can change our minds the next and say ‘yes.’ Saying ‘no’ to God damages the relationship we have with Him, but through the sacrament of reconciliation, we have the opportunity to repair the relationship and repent of our choices. All this is possible with the gift of time and through the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus.

We cannot speed it up and we can’t slow it down. We can only live each moment we are given. Let us live each one through the grace of God, with the peace of God and for the love of God.

Catholic Girl Journey

Who art in heaven

As I was praying the Our Father recently, an odd question popped into my head: Why do we state where God is? It’s not like there are multiple gods out there which we need to differentiate. It’s not like He changes locations with the seasons that we would need to keep His whereabouts in mind. And how is it that we humans can definitively know where God is?

Heaven is not about a physical place or space, as we define location. Rather it calls to mind that God is not a being limited to our world. He is Creator of all, so His signature is on everything we see around us. That helps us to bring Him to mind and ponder what He is like. After all, what better way to get to know someone than to look at what He has created? But creation does not fully reveal who God is, rather provides us examples of what God is like. Creation can lead us to a relationship with God, but not to God Himself.

If God is not a being limited to this world, then He is beyond it. When humans first roamed the earth, they had no idea what was above the clouds, as the clouds, sun, moon and stars were beyond their reach. It makes sense that the first definition for heaven in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is, “the expanse of space that seems to be over the earth like a dome.” However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “The symbol of the heavens refers us back to the mystery of the covenant we are living when we pray to our Father. … [Christians] are in the flesh, but do not live according to the flesh. They spend their lives on earth, but are citizens of heaven.“ (CCC: 2795-6) Does that mean the Our Father is not reminding us that God is elsewhere, but that we are called to live with the hope and anticipation of getting there?

Jesus Christ came down from heaven by being born of a woman and ascended back into heaven after He completed His mission (His passion, death and resurrection). He has bridged the gap between the two realms. He has taught us to keep heaven in mind when praying by using it not just once, but a second time so that we ask for God’s will to be ‘done on earth as it is in heaven.’ Heaven is not a state of mind, but a state of which to be mindful.

Mary at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle, Washington DC

Describe Mary

There are many words that are used to describe Mary: blessed, virgin, holy, queen, immaculate, mother, etc. Those that come to mind often seem to put her far away from us and make our relationship more formal than intimate. Sometimes it can be easy to forget that she is, after all,  human.

“Mother” seems to be used most often and can be more of a title than just a description. She is: Mother of God, Mother of Jesus, Mother of the Church and our mother, just to name a few. She was a also a spouse and caregiver to her family. Do we ever think of her bandaging the hand of St. Joseph when a hammer went awry? While we don’t know how St. Joseph died, any nursing activities would have been handled by Mary. She also wiped the nose of Jesus and kissed a few bruised knees and elbows as He was growing up. She cooked, cleaned and probably made their clothes. She cared for the needs of both Joseph and Jesus.

Mary did minister to human needs while she was on earth. Now that she is in heaven, her care is spiritual. Her goal is for all God’s children to be with Him in heaven. She has given us the Rosary as a tool for us to ponder Jesus’ life on earth and to help us cultivate a relationship with Him. She does such a good job, sometimes it’s easier to think of Jesus being human than Mary! Even in the prayer that we think of as hers, the Hail Mary, it’s really a vehicle to praise God for filling her with grace, blessing her among all women, and blessing her as the mother of Jesus.

Mary is also a woman of action. She does not sit by and wish that her children would do God’s will. She visits us with messages of correction and direction. Guadalupe, Knock, Lourdes, Fatima, Loreto, and Medjugorje are just some of the few places that Mary has made an appearance. She wants what is best for us and what could be better than an eternity with God? She cares for us spiritually as she did for Joseph and Jesus while she was on earth. She seeks out those who are like herself to spread her message: simple, humble, and loving.

Mary is never far away from us and will gladly lead us to a deeper relationship with God. She is human and can truly understand our needs. Let us put ourselves in her caring hands and walk with her in our spiritual journey to be closer to God.   

Catholic Girl Journey

Invoice from Jesus

If Jesus sent you an invoice, what would be on it? The number of hairs on your head? The number of beats your heart has taken? The number of breaths you have breathed? The amount of food provided by the earth that you consumed? How can we possibly pay Him back for all He has done for us?

Unlike our human tendency to make things even and fair, God knows that we can never make restitution for all He provides. Our relationship with Him is not one of a contract, an equal exchange of goods or services, rather it is a covenant relationship, an exchange of persons. God gives Himself to us, especially in the Eucharist. We give ourselves to Him when we imitate the love He shows us with everyone we encounter.

It’s quite overwhelming to ponder. God has given us all that we have, all that we are, and will continue to do so for our whole life. If we think about it, our human nature says we need to give up all that we have and live an austere life to try to make things equal, so that we’re not relying on God so much. But we rely on Him for every breath and heartbeat; one can’t exactly use less of those necessities. However, God wants us to rely on Him, totally and completely. It gives Him joy to bless those who surrender their lives to Him, not by living less, but living in communion with Him. The term “God’s will” makes it seem like it is something that we don’t want to do. But God made us and knows us better than we know ourselves. His will for us is to be the person He created us to be. Our true happiness and fulfillment will only come when we follow God and do His will.

Let’s put away the tally sheets and scorecards and reach out to God, deepen our relationship with Him, and free ourselves to do His will. Then, that invoice from Jesus will be marked prepaid in full, with His blood from the cross.

Catholic Girl Journey

Saints on earth

A person who is declared a saint in heaven is perfect. They have reached perfection and now enjoy being in the presence of God. But it wasn’t always this way. The saints were once…human.

While working out recently, the gym had the Golf channel on, and while I was not actively watching it, I couldn’t help but listen to it with my subconscious. While I have no idea who the announcers were referring to, a comment was made to the effect that one of the pro golfers was seen practicing and having trouble with a particular shot. It surprised them since this particular player made that shot look so easy and second nature when playing in tournaments. When I heard the comment, I silently laughed at it and asked myself, “How do they think she got that way? She practiced and keeps at it!”

When saints are on this earth, they are much like that pro golfer. They may make it seem easy to put their faith into action, but it’s only after many years of practice and hardship, and of trial and error. Some days are good and some are filled with doubt. We hear about saints who were called by God at a young age, or have had apparitions of Jesus or Mary and think ”Well, I that hasn’t happened to me, so I’ll just go on living my life.” However, whether we receive an engraved invitation from God or not, we are all called to become saints and we are all called to be holy. Often the ones who have had a special call from God have a larger task from Him and need extra support.

Just like a pro golfer continues to practice as a professional, a saint is not a saint until they reach heaven. That means their whole life is spent in practice. It starts with a solid prayer life that seeks out a relationship with God. Just like the various strokes of the golfer, sometimes the prayer connection is strong and other times it’s a fight to pay attention. Some tournaments are won by the golfer and some have a lower ranking. For a saint-in-training, sometimes we succeed in the tasks God gives us and sometimes we fall short. Whether we are doing well or not, prayer for a saint-to-be is like practice to the pro golfer.

God calls all of us to become saints. It’s up to us if we are willing to spend a life in practice and hard work, responding to His call.

Catholic Girl Journey

Faith is more than a feeling

The Easter season gives us plenty of time to ponder the mysteries of our faith and reaffirm what we believe.

From a human perspective, we can attempt to understand the passion and death of Jesus. But His resurrection and ascension into heaven, as well as the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, are a bit beyond human reasoning. We say we believe all of these things because we have faith, but what does that really mean? According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “Faith is man’s response to God, who reveals himself and give himself to man, at the same time bringing man a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life (CCC 26).

After 2000 years, time does not make the resurrection and ascension any easier to understand. Even the apostles, the men that spent the most time with Jesus, had a hard time understanding what happened. Of course the most extreme example is Thomas, who refused to believe the other apostles when they told him of seeing Jesus after the crucifixion, until the Lord appeared and invited him to touch the nail holes and spear mark. Most of us will not experience the physical presence of Jesus, and so faith is not based on the tangible.

Faith is also not just a good feeling. Performing good deeds, spending time with Jesus in prayer, and adoration may make us feel good, but that is not faith. Our feelings can change from day to day and even minute to minute. To base what we believe and act upon solely on how we feel can be dangerous and Satan can use our feelings to explain away sin. In the lives some of the saints, their faith was tested by withholding the good feeling; Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta is one example.

Faith is a gift from God. If we choose to accept it, then it will grow based on how much effort we put forth into having a relationship with Him. It cannot be measured by the physical sciences and it cannot be diluted into a warm, fuzzy sense of being. It is as diverse as the population of the earth, since it reflects the uniqueness of a personal relationship with the Divine. Even the the most faith-filled person can have doubts from time to time. It is in these times of questioning that we can dive more deeper into a relationship with our Almighty Creator and our Savior.

Catholic Girl Journey

Resurrection of the dead

“I look forward to the resurrection of the dead…” It’s one of the beliefs of Catholicism that we acknowledge every Sunday in the Nicene creed as well as in the Apostles Creed. But do we say it because it’s part of the prayer or do we really mean it?  

What does it mean to rise from the dead? In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, that question is raised and answered in # 997, “ In death, the separation of the soul from the body, the human body decays and the soul goes to meet God, while awaiting its reunion with its glorified body.” As Jesus was the first one to rise from the dead, we can look to Him as an example of what to expect.

Unrecognizable may be one characteristic used to describe Jesus’ risen form. Mary Magdalene, and the disciples on the road to Emmaus did not realize who Jesus was and the eleven thought He was a ghost when He first appeared to them. Was it His glory that confused them? Or was He able to hide his identity by changing His appearance? Or was it because they did not think He was alive that they could not recognize Him because they were not expecting to encounter Jesus? It was only with the intimacy of words: being called by name and in the blessing and in the breaking of bread, which were actions they were familiar with Jesus doing, that they were able to see that it was Him.

What was not hidden or healed were the wounds of the crucifixion. He showed the eleven His hands and feet and bid Thomas to put his hand into His side. By these wounds Jesus healed the relationship between God and humanity and as a result, they are glorified too. They no longer remain a source of pain but become a reminder that through suffering there is the promise of life eternal. In this glorified state Jesus is able to appear and disappear, even in rooms that are locked. And to prove He is not just spirit alone, He eats and drinks with His disciples.

It can feel a bit like science fiction to try to imagine the resurrection of the dead, but God did give us minds to think, ponder, imagine and dream. Those who are not pleased with their looks in this life hope that they can change their appearance in the next, but that is human vanity speaking. If Jesus’ wounds were glorified, would not our imperfections also be glorified? Perhaps those who feel the effects of an aging body hope the resurrected body is from their youth or prime. But do we limit God’s ability to transform our weak, human form in His glory?

I don’t know what I will look like in the resurrection of the dead, but I am looking forward to being amazed at God’s glory. Just looking around at the symphony of nature, which is fleeting daily, I know He will make a masterpiece of me. I can’t ask for anything more.

Catholic Girl Journey

Love and mercy

Love and mercy, that’s what I remember being taught about a God from my Catholic elementary teachers. How different now is my understanding of what these these two things mean.

I came of age in post-Vatican II. No longer was the Baltimore catechism used; instead it was ‘draw what God’s love looks like to you.’ Mercy, to a young child, seemed to indicate that no matter what you did, it was okay. I must admit there were a few times a a young adult that I remember thinking, “it’s okay if I miss Mass; God will forgive me.” Yes, I was confident in God’s mercy, but my attitude at the time was taking for granted His mercy.

After being so assuming of His mercy, I now have a great respect and appreciation for it. Through the practice of the Divine Mercy chaplet, and the corresponding novena, I have learned the true cost of His mercy was Jesus’ passion and death. By reciting the chaplet, I call on God the Father to remember the passion of Christ and ask for Him for mercy, not just for me, but for the whole world. How incredible that He gives us humans the ability to invoke His mercy in such a mind-blowing and comprehensive way!

It is fitting that that after a week celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, the intensive octave is capped by the solemnity of Divine Mercy Sunday. After all, the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus restores the divine relationship with fallen humanity. We will continue to sin and God’s mercy will flow abundantly to those who return to him with contrite hearts. First we thank Jesus for all He went through (Easter) and then we thank Him for what He continues to bestow (Divine Mercy Sunday). But these eight days can’t capture the joy and festivities of such a compassionate and loving God, and so the Easter season continues for a full 50 days and includes the celebrations of the Ascension and Pentecost. God truly is rich in kindness and plentiful in His blessings.  

God the Father loved us so much He gave us His Son. Jesus loved us so much He gave us His life. By this love we are able to be children of God. And when we choose our own selfish ways, we can turn back to the love to God by being sorry for our sins and find ourselves in the warm embrace of His mercy. God is Love and Mercy.

Catholic Girl Journey

Peter and the Passion

During the reading of Christ’s Passion, our focus is on Jesus, and rightfully so. But have you ever reflected on the actions and activities of the other disciples? One apostle that is mentioned by name several times during the sequence of events is Peter.

I’m not sure if it’s boldness or brashness that Peter displays as we first encounter him at the last supper, when he challenges Jesus during the washing of the feet. First he protests Jesus doing such a menial task, but then swings to the total opposite of the spectrum and asks the Lord to wash all exposed parts (hands, head and feet). Peter is not focused on the teaching of the moment, but rather the specific action Jesus takes.

Peter continues his seemingly reckless responses as Jesus talks about being betrayed. Confident of his love for Christ, he declares that he will not betray Jesus even to the point of death. His faith, while strong, is still in a development stage, which can be illustrated by his actions in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus takes the apostles to the garden to await Judas’ betrayal. He charges the apostles to pray and steps deeper into the garden to pray alone to the Father. Three times He comes back to the apostles and three times they are all asleep. He addresses Peter specifically:

“Asleep, Simon? You could not stay awake for even an hour? Be on guard and pray that you may not be put to the test. The spirit is willing but the nature is weak.” (Mark 14:37-38)

Lastly, we find Peter in the courtyard of the high priest. While others ran away, Peter followed at a distance to find out what was happening. It is here that Christ’s prophecy of Peter’s threefold denial comes true. When Jesus talked about a betrayer among the twelve, He meant Judas Iscariot. Jesus uses Peter’s rash declaration of never betraying Christ to show just how easy it can be in the small, everyday circumstances to begin the betrayal by denying a relationship with Him. The crowing cock is Peter’s wake up call to what he has done, and to the awareness that Jesus knew what he would do. Peter, the strong fisherman who was ready to take on the world with Jesus, “broke down and began to cry.” (Mark 14:72)

While to some, Peter can seem like a bit of a knucklehead, I find comfort in his honest responses. How easy it is to be confident when everything is going well, but when things get rough, our confidence is put to the test. How often have I responded to Jesus like Peter did? How often have I been sleeping when the Lord needed me? If Peter, in the physical presence of Jesus, responded by challenging and denying God and was not just forgiven, but entrusted with a mission, then there is hope for little ol’ me. Let us ask Saint Peter to help us through this Holy Week to see how we can grow in our love of the Lord and have true confidence in Jesus as we carry our daily crosses.

Catholic Girl Journey

Thorns and nails

We are just about to start the most holy week of the year. Thorns and nails play their part in the Passion of Jesus, but they can represent our sins in a much deeper sense.

When I think about thorns, roses are the first thing that come to mind. While roses are not the only plant to have thorns, they are probably the most familiar. Roses are so beautiful and human nature’s tendency is to reach out and touch, only to find out that the beauty comes at a cost. So it is when we become enamored with a sin that is attractive to us at the surface level. We may be so caught up in how it affects our senses that we may not realize how dangerous it is to our spiritual life. Sins of vanity and pride can often disguise themselves in a beautiful way and later reveal their hidden peril. Sometimes the disguise is a bit more ordinary; thorns can be found among shrubs and leaves, too. Those who are prudent and watchful may be able to recognize the dangers before their soul is scratched or pierced.

Nails are a different story. By themselves they are useless. But when they have the force of a hammer to drive them, they can be deeply embedded, securing one item to another. Nails can be used for good, but the nails driven into Jesus to keep Him on the cross are like the sins we know are wrong, but still intentionally commit. Our act of willful choosing is that hammer driving the nails into Christ. It’s the times we choose our way over God’s, or when we walk away from a relationship with Him. When we choose to sin, do we only look at our temporary gain? Or do we recognize the cost of that sin, especially the damage to our relationship with God?

As we remember, reflect on, and celebrate holy week this year, let us thank Jesus for all He endured to save us. We should acknowledge our transgressions, the thorns and nails that we personally added to his suffering. This is the first step in taking ownership for our actions. With more awareness of our choices, we can begin to change from our sinful habits and draw ever closer to Christ.