relationship with God

Catholic Girl Journey

Receive the gift

How receptive are you? Do you allow others to assist you? Do you appreciate compliments?

At a Sunday afternoon retreat, the speaker made one point about allowing ourselves to “receive the gift.” This could be anything from an offer to pay for a meal to a compliment on what we are wearing, to a door being held open. In our culture of being self sufficient, it can be a  difficult thing to grasp. How many times have people responded, “this old thing?” when complimented on their dress? Perhaps when eating in a restaurant with friends, one person may offer to pay, but how many people will speak up to say it’s not necessary? Or even that someone else will get it next time? Why do we feel the need to make everything equal?

I think one of the greatest examples of receiving is my 85-year-old dad who has Parkinson’s. As the disease progresses, he gets slower and even the small daily activities are monumental tasks. He is constantly thanking me when I visit for all the help I give both him and my mom. Part of me thinks that since he’s my dad, of course I want to help; I love him and don’t like to see him struggle. Another part is being appreciative of all he did to raise me, it’s now my turn to help him. I know I can never pay like for like, but I want to use the opportunity to show my love in action, rather than just saying it. It also makes me wonder if I could be even half as gracious and appreciative if I was in that state?

God wants to bless us and give us gifts. But are we open to accepting them? Or do we get annoyed when they are not quite what we wanted or don’t happen the way we expect? Can we just receive God’s gift with a smile and say thank you, regardless of what it is? Perhaps if we can practice with the earthly things that others give to us, we can be more receptive of those that come from God.

Thank you for reading the blog!   

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Thou shall…

The 10 commandments, the golden rule, the beatitudes; these are all things we “have” to do, right?

To many, religion is a list of rules. I don’t see it that way. I see it as the expression of my faith in God. I want to have a relationship with Him, so that He can bring out the best in me. When we strike up a friendship with someone, they can often bring out elements of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. When a friend asks our assistance with something, we do our best to accommodate their request, even if it means changing our plans. Our friendship with God is no different; just being in His presence can cause subtle differences. We start looking for ways to share His joy, which can be by living out the directives that both the Father and Jesus gave.

A great example is the third commandment to keep holy the sabbath day. For Catholics, that means going to Mass either for the vigil on Saturday or on Sunday. It can be referred to as our “Sunday obligation.” What does it mean to be obliged? While the definition uses words like ‘require,’ ‘constrain’ and ‘bind,’ there is one definition that I think fits better. “To place under a debt of gratitude for some benefit, favor, or service.” When we have a relationship with God, we appreciate all He has done for us, from creating us and everything and everyone we come into contact with, to becoming one of us in order to save us. It’s our thankfulness that leads us to have that ‘debt of gratitude’ and, since we cannot do for God what He has done, we take the time each week to seek out His presence.

If we look only at the rules and regulations, then we are missing the point of a relationship with God. What we do (or not do) does not create the relationship with God. Rather our relationship with Him leads us to take action, to want to do better and be the best person we can be. Using the directives like the commandments and the beatitudes helps us to see how we can take action and show our love and joy in God.

Catholic Girl Journey

Don’t scratch

No matter how many drapes or towels used at the hair salon when I have my hair cut, there always seem to be a few cut hairs that find their way between the collar of my shirt and my skin. After a recent trim, I felt itchy the whole drive home. I so wanted to scratch the itch. I knew that in fifteen minutes I could change my shirt and wipe away any remaining hairs. With every urge to scratch, I reminded myself how close I was to relief. However, the thought of Saint Thomas Moore also came to mind. He wore a hair shirt as form of discipline and penance. Here I was trying to put up with some discomfort for a short amount of time, and this man purposefully welcomed being uncomfortable.

It was only after his death that it became known Thomas wore the hair shirt as penance for his own sins and the sins of his country. King Henry VIII had declared himself head of the church in England so his marriage to his first wife could be annulled.  St.Thomas refused to approve and was eventually imprisoned for it, but he added to his own suffering by enduring this personal penance.  The garment was made of rough cloth, possibly from goat’s hair. The ancestor to this clothing is the sackcloth that is mentioned in the Old Testament. It was worn close to the body to remind the wearer to resist temptations of the flesh. Used by both religious and lay people, it was a rejection of luxury and comfort, and a reminder of the sufferings of Jesus. As Thomas was a man of means and power, and a close adviser for the king, wearing this shirt helped to keep him humble and to remember that he was, “the king’s good servant, but God’s first.”

I wonder how he got used to wearing it, or if he ever did. Did he begin wearing it for small amounts of time to build up his tolerance? Did he have skin issues as a result of all that irritation? This kind of penance calls me to rethink the comforts in my own life; how attached am I? I don’t know if wearing a garment that irritates the skin is for everyone, but are there other penances that could be just as effective? As we are all unique in God’s eyes, I wonder if we each have our own penances based on our weaknesses and temptations?

The saints provide great examples for us and help us in our moment of need. They challenge us to reflect on our actions and our relationship with God so that we keep moving closer to Him in our daily lives—sometimes embracing discomfort rather than seeking relief.

Catholic Girl Journey

Brothers and sisters

“Brothers and sisters,” how many times have we heard that during Mass? Have we heard it so much that we no longer grasp the full meaning of those titles?

Addressing a Christian community as brothers and sisters is not a recent trend. It goes back to the earliest days, and is evidenced in Paul’s writings. In some letters, he even repeats it more than once. It is a way to equalize all before God since we are all His children. The writer or speaker is putting himself on the same level as his audience.  It’s also a way to help us recognize that we should love everyone, as we are all one family. The tradition continues today; most letters from a bishop to the members of his diocese start in that same fraternal way.   

At Mass we hear these words in the Penitential Act when we say, “ I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters…” We actually refer to the members of the congregation as our family members. We are reminded again as the Liturgy of the Eucharist begins and the celebrant urges us: “Pray, brothers and sisters, that my sacrifice and yours may be acceptable to God, the almighty Father.”

We claim our familial bond with God through the person of Jesus, His Son. Since we are children of God and Jesus is God’s Son, that would make Him our brother, correct? Have you ever considered Jesus as your brother? When we acknowledge Him that way, He recognizes and validates our relationship with God. As we receive him in the Eucharist, He is even more present in our lives.

I’ve heard it said that we cannot merit heaven by our own actions, and if we were to stand before God and be weighed on the scale of justice, we would be found lacking. But when Jesus stands on the scale beside us, His merits far surpass our deficiencies. Can you imagine standing before God and having Jesus right next you, pleading for your entry into heaven? When I think of it that way, I want to participate more fully in the family of God.

So, my brothers and sisters, the next time you hear yourselves addressed that way, I hope you take a moment to reflect on deep meaning those words convey regarding your relationship with God and with each other.

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Three letter word for practice

Most people are familiar with the phrase made famous by Yoda in the Star Wars trilogy: “Do or not do; there is no try.” Since then try seems like a rather weak word and is often used in conjunction with a lack of confidence. But I propose that it should be a synonym for practice.

During my daily physical therapy exercises for my back, I need to engage my core muscles as I’m doing each activity. When I do an exercise, I have to remember to engage those muscles. Some days it’s easier than others depending on how tired I am, my mood, how many distractions there are, etc. Each time I try; I have the intention of keeping the core muscles engaged, but in actuality I may not be doing it right. Some may say I’m practicing engaging those muscles. But according to Yoda’s definition, every time I do not succeed, I fail.

Failure is part of life. It gives us the measuring stick to see how we are progressing. This is equally true in the spiritual realm. Every time we go to confession, it may seem like we are not making progress as we generally confess the same sins. But part of that sacrament involves expressing the intention to avoid those sins in the future. We need to try. We need to practice holiness. While we may end up confessing that sin again, perhaps we were able to avoid it for a longer period of time. Or perhaps we start to see the stumbling block that causes us to fall so that we can begin to learn to avoid it.

God gives us an entire lifetime to try, to practice being holy. It’s up to us to determine how much energy we are going to devote. Sometimes our attempts will end in success and we celebrate them. Sometimes they end as failures and we learn from them. The important thing is to keep trying. The only time we should stop is when we reach heaven.   

Catholic Girl Journey

Seeking a sign

Have you ever asked God for a sign when making a decision and ….nothing? I recently read a novel where the main character, a Christian looking to make a life-altering decision, had asked God which direction she should go. But in the end she had to make her choice first, before she got the sign.

I have found myself in a similar position when I needed guidance. When I pondered why that would be, I realized that we don’t always follow God’s guidance, but He still takes care of us and can get us back on track. I wonder if there could be several reasons why we don’t get our answer when we want it.

One possible reason is that, while the decision may be life changing at an individual level, it may not really make a difference in the big picture. We are only seeing a tiny portion of our full life, while God sees the whole picture. Do we ever consider the larger view when our anxiety about a decision is getting the better of us?

God knows how to talk to us, but are we really listening? It’s easy to say that we are open, but being human, we may have an answer in mind and may only be looking for confirmation of that decision. When the answer is different than what we expect, it can be hard to see the direction God is giving us. When one of the choices takes us outside of our comfort zone, it can be even harder to accept guidance. Can we really let go and let God?

Another possibility is that God has an alternate path in mind for us. We can seek God’s guidance, looking for a yes/no or a choice a/b, but when the answer is something totally different, we may have trouble understanding. Even if we are open, we often start to imagine what would life be like in the options we had in mind, and we begin to prepare ourselves. We miss the turn-off for the new direction completely because we are already too far along the path.

No matter what the question or the answer, if we are following God’s plan, there is one thing that He will always provide: peace. When we can be at peace with our decision, no matter what challenges come our way, we can lean on God to get us through and be confident in the path we are taking.

 

Catholic Girl Journey

At the garment’s hem

I’ve always admired the woman who suffered from a hemorrhage in Mark’s gospel (Mk 5: 25-34). Even when most of the world would call her situation hopeless, she had such a strong belief in Jesus and his power to cure her.

I can’t imagine what her suffering must have been like in that era. Day after day with no relief, weak from her illness, she sought aid, only to be left worse. The story indicates that she “exhausted her savings in the process,” so while she may have been a woman of means, she was still subject to adversity. But she did have the gift of hope, as she kept going to “doctors of every sort.”  It was this hope that brought her to Jesus. However, it was her faith that ultimately healed her. She did not seek an audience with Jesus, nor did she cry out to Him. She did not even reach for His hand, just the hem of His garment. At that brief moment her fingertips brushed over a few threads, she was healed.

The moment the woman was healed, Jesus asked who touched Him. Trembling, the woman explained the story. Jesus was not angry with her, rather He wanted an interaction with her. In curing the sick, Jesus spoke with them and touched them; it was a personal exchange. Jesus soothes her fears by calling her ‘daughter’ and telling her to “Go in peace and be free of this illness.”

My daily struggles are but a mere inconvenience in comparison to stories like that of the unnamed woman in Mark’s story. Yet I still seek relief from those challenges. I do turn to God in thought, prayer and action, knowing it is He that sustains me. As I approach the Eucharist, I know that Jesus is present: body, blood, soul and divinity, in the tiniest of crumbs of the host or a single drop of the precious blood. In that moment, I am like that woman seeking healing with the slightest of touches. The encounter is enough to bring me peace. It may not solve all my woes, but it does give me the strength to keep moving forward.

Catholic Girl Journey

Patience

“Love is patient…”(1 Cor 13:4) In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he first associates love with patience. A definition of patience is “bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.” With all the times I’ve fallen short of God’s commandments, I’m very grateful that He is so patient with me, even when I get impatient with myself for not doing His will as I should.

Is it easier to be patient with someone we know versus a stranger? It might seem that we can be more patient with family and friends since we are familiar with their quirks. But there are times when our loved ones seem to know just exactly what buttons to push. I may be able to bear the annoyance, but doing so without complaint or irritation is the hard part. On the other hand, with a stranger, it can be easier to not give into the irritation since we do not know their situation. While we may not show our frustration with a stranger, the complaining may happen after the fact when we talk with our family or friends.

There are lots of different personalities evident where I work, and not all of my colleagues are easy going. Recently it seems that I’ve had to work with the more challenging people. I have been praying for more patience, so that I’m not reacting on a personal level, getting angry and defensive. I’ve realized that I can’t “get” patience, though, it’s something I just need to practice. And I can’t practice it unless I’m placed in challenging situations. While there is one part of me that cautions to be careful what you pray for, the other part of me knows that such situations can only help make me a more patient person. Part of my communication with God is to help me step back and approach the situation with a peaceful heart, looking for what would be for the good of the company, the customer or other employees. Then I can be more patient, compassionate and merciful with my coworkers.

We are all called to love one another, and being patient with others is love. I pray that I can continue to learn how to love through the virtue of patience.

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Got Jesus?

I heard an advertisement for a Christian radio station indicating we needed Jesus because of the troublesome events occurring in America. I disagree with that logic.

Do we need Jesus in our life? Yes! Always and all the time. Is that because life is full of heartache and trouble? No. We need Jesus because His life, death and resurrection are the bridge we can use to become closer to the Triune God. God should be the center of our universe, the reason we get up in the morning and the passion to do everything to the best of our ability. As the Catechism teaches, “He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength.” (CCC 1) We need Jesus not because of things happening around us or to us, but simply because that’s what we were created for: relationship with God.

So how does one “get” Jesus? To seek Him, is to take action. We cannot merely sit by and expect to experience Him. Actions include reading the Bible, attending Mass and praying. They can also include getting to know other people, since there’s always a little bit of Jesus in every person. We can also seek Him in the world the Father created. From the tiniest little insects to the massive redwood trees and everything in between, all reflect God in some way.

One has to take action in order to be able to know Jesus. It’s in absorbing our experiences that we can start to get a glimpse of Him. He can be both an old friend and a new acquaintance all at the same time. When we are not focused on Him, it’s not that the Lord has abandoned us, but rather that we turn our backs to Him. Making the effort to search for Jesus is the only way to focus on Him and to get to know Him.

Seeking and knowing the Lord are linked by loving. Love also involves action. It can be a prayer, a smile to a stranger or a hug to a friend. When we offer up our daily activities — no matter how small — we are seeking Him out, getting to know Him better and showing our love for Him. We are modeling Jesus’ total gift of self to God.

Invite Jesus into your life today, because you want Him in your life. He will give you what you need to get through life’s obstacles as He journeys beside you to the Kingdom of God.   

Catholic Girl Journey

Pray for me

“I ask…you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.”(Penitential Rite).

I cringe with guilt at Mass when we say that part of the prayer. I feel I never remember until I’m at Mass and we get to that line. Why not? Are there people that I do remember in my daily prayers? Absolutely; they are the people I know by name. But the fellow members of my parish that are unknown to me, do I pray for them and their needs? I very much appreciate when the Mass intention is for the people of the parish. I feel so special, that as a member of the parish, it’s as if that Mass is for me and my needs.

Prayer intentions often group people: the sick, the dead, the unemployed, and I don’t usually fit into those categorizations. Why is it so hard to remember to ask God to grant all the people of the parish a simple blessing to make their day just a little better — a little brighter?

One evening at the adoration chapel, I finally remembered. At the beginning of each decade of the rosary, I was inspired to pray for various groups of people, like the children of the parish, those preparing for the sacrament of reconciliation and those who don’t pay attention at Mass. My intention when I began the rosary was for the whole parish, but there was something special in praying for a smaller group of people. It was almost like getting to know them, or a particular aspect of that group. It made the prayer more personal, because I meditated on that aspect while I recited the decade, asking God to help them in their needs.

Occasionally I am prompted to say the Divine Mercy chaplet for those who will receive the sacrament of reconciliation during that week and for the priest hearing their confessions. It takes courage, humility and love for God to confess one’s sins to Him. Through the Divine Mercy chaplet, I pray that God’s mercy will touch their hearts and strengthen them to make a good confession.

It may not be second nature to me yet. I hope in the practice of praying for those in the parish community on a regular basis, when we say that line at Mass, I have contributed prayers for those journeying to heaven with me.