relationship with God

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Why worry?

I know I’m guilty of worrying. It doesn’t start out as worrying, but rather thinking about the possible outcomes of a challenging situation, but once the “what if” game starts, the spiral into the rabbit hole is quite deep.

There’s a planned maintenance event in my housing development that has been taking quite a bit of my time in my thoughts. While it will mostly be an inconvenience, there’s a fair bit of logistics that I’m trying to be prepared for. I keep turning the possibilities over and over in my head, trying to figure out how I can control as much of the circumstances as possible. Until I see how things unfold, I remain worried about it. 

I was looking through my photos from my recent Alaska trip and there was one of a sign that read, “Worry is a waste of imagination.” How true that is in my current predicament! It’s exactly times like these that I need to remember that sign. What is worry? It truly is stressing over imagined possible outcomes. Can you change the outcome by worrying about it? Nope. While it is true that you can prepare for a select number of possibilities, many times the actual outcome differs significantly from our imagined outcomes. You may have more accuracy than I do, but I can’t recall a single scenario that turned out exactly as I thought it might. 

Imagination is a wonderful gift from God. It can allow us to look at something, transform it beyond what it currently is and potentially expand its usefulness. There are numerous TV shows and YouTube channels that demonstrate imagination at work. Some people even make a business out of the product of their  creative imaging and sell them on sites like etsy.com. I often look at a recipe, and while I’ll follow it exactly the first time (unless I really don’t like a particular ingredient) I often look to see what I can change to make it more to my taste. For baked goods I love to play with different extracts, like substituting half of what a chocolate chip cookie recipe calls for vanilla with raspberry extract. Or in a savory dish, I may add freshly chopped mushrooms in one that only called for cream of mushroom soup. I’ve heard many folks say that they aren’t creative. I disagree; everyone has some level of imagination, though it may not be in a specific art like cooking or decorating. Perhaps it’s working in math or problem solving, or in finding a better way to organize their closet. 

When we consider that worry is taking a beautiful gift from God and warping it into a source of stress, it makes us ask the question: Why worry? A wonderful imagination, however, can’t be controlled just by saying, “Don’t worry.” What is helpful is turning the issue over to God. Talk to Him about your thoughts and all the possibilities that are concerning you. Talking with God will not take away your worry, but can help ease it by acknowledging all your thoughts. Then, leave the issue in God’s hands. Sometimes you may be inspired to take a specific preventive action, while other times, you may just need to let the events unfold. Sometimes the answer is God giving you the strength to get through the challenge, while other times He may provide help through your friends and family. The outcome that God allows will be for the best, no matter how it turns out. After all, we pray that His will be done and not ours.

Worry will be something that I wrestle with, but I don’t have to do it alone. Whenever I find myself in this spiral, turning to God is the best, and only, course of action. I don’t want to waste His gift of imagination on thoughts that urge me to try to control everything.  I’d rather rely on the Holy Spirit to inspire my imagination to bring the love of God into the situations in my little corner of the world.

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Prayer of roses

At the beginning of October, the Church celebrated the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. It’s a prayer tool that has been around for about 800 years! Much has been said and written about it, as it seems like a topic that is inexhaustible. But is there a place for the rosary in our modern world?

In the 13th century, Our Lady appeared to St. Dominic with the option of praying the Marian Psalter. It combined the Angelic salutation with the life and works of Jesus, teaching the basics of the faith and combating the heresies at the time. It was a spiritual weapon that converted, or reconverted, many to the faith. In some ways, it mirrors the 150 Psalms, only instead of having to memorize all the different Psalms, it’s just a few prayers and the mysteries for meditation. A big part of the rosary is meditation, thinking about the specific mystery during the course of reciting an Our Father, ten Hail Marys, and a Glory Be. If all three sets of the original mysteries are prayed, then you would be reciting the Hail Mary 150 times. While memorization was important in the 13th century since that is how many things were taught to new generations, in today’s era of asking Google or Siri whatever is on your mind, memorization is not a skill that is actively pursued.

With the invention of the printing press in the 15th century, the ability to read and pray the Psalms from a book became possible to a greater number of people. However, praying all 150 of them does take quite a lot of time, since some of them are very long! The most I’ve done during Adoration is to pray the seven penitential Psalms: 6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, and 143. Praying from Scripture is always encouraged, and these seven are good to become familiar with, however, I think I’ve probably had deeper spiritual experiences when praying the Sorrowful mysteries than the penitential Psalms.

The majority of each mystery is meditated upon with the backdrop chant of the relatively short prayer of the Hail Mary. We repeat the words of the Angel Gabriel and the acknowledgement of Elizabeth, while seeking the intercession of Mary now and at the moment of our death. To some it may sound like we’re praising Mary, but in reality, we are praising God for His most perfect work of creation. In each mystery, God in one of the Trinitarian persons, is facilitating the event. Even those events that seem to be about Mary, like the Annunciation or the Assumption, are prompted by God with Mary as its recipient. It is truly a God-centric prayer and meditating on the mysteries can bring us closer to Him.

In our age of social media, it’s much easier to scroll endlessly through Facebook, Instagram, or any of the other platforms looking for something to catch our eye or entertain us. How can the rosary be a method of prayer embraced in today’s world? Perhaps because of its simplicity and non-technological requirements, it is the best method for people to get to know God. Whenever I read articles on reducing anxiety or managing stress, one of the suggestions is always learning and taking time to meditate. Usually the suggestions are to learn some Eastern form of meditation, and I wonder how many Catholics forego praying the rosary and embrace these other types of meditation thinking they are somehow better? Yet when one takes time to meditate on God, and especially the earthly life of His Son Jesus, the power of the prayer can calm our troubled hearts and minds as well as orient ourselves to God’s will.

The rosary is a timeless method of prayer designed to bring a person closer to God, provide mental exercise that can reduce stress and anxiety, and can be completed in about 20 minutes for one set of mysteries. It is the perfect prayer for those on the go as well as those who need to practice how to quiet their mind in order to better hear and see the impact of God in their lives. It is as if we are presenting a rose to Mary each time we pray the Hail Mary, who then presents them on our behalf to God as a beautiful and fragrant bouquet.

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Sinful baggage

It looked like a blue, plaid, overstuffed sausage, ready to explode. Its weight increasingly felt as if an entire set of dumbbells were nestled inside. Carrying this mass, I pondered how I wished the weight of sin could be felt and understood as easily as my overnight bag. 

In reality, there wasn’t “much” in the bag. I was traveling home from an Alaskan cruise recently, and rather than spend 12 hours in the airport, I opted for a hop-on/hop-off bus excursion to allow me to see the sights of Seattle. Because these buses don’t have room for large bags, I needed to travel light. My overnight bag contained only the clothes I wore the night before, select toiletries, my two cameras and their batteries, a scarf knitting project, my noise canceling headphones, and my neck pillow. I rolled my clothes up tight, so they would take up the least amount of space, but that in turn seemed to make them dense and heavy. It all fit into the bag, with the exception of the neck pillow. I never weighed it, but as I progressed around the different stops in Seattle, it seemed to get progressively heavier. I tried to shift the weight from one side to the other, but that just made both knees hurt. I even wondered what I could remove and discard that could make it lighter, but there was nothing. I guess I could have really looked like a tourist with one or both of my cameras hanging around my neck, but I would still need to carry their weight, even if their removal made the bag lighter. While I love traveling, and especially cruising, getting to and from the destination or ship is the most agonizing part of the journey. 

With the weight of my possessions grinding into my body, I wondered what it would be like if we carried our sins in the same way? What if our spiritual life had physical aspects to it? What if our pride made us 12 feet tall, and doors were only 6 feet tall, forcing us to bow low to get through each one? What if every harsh word resulted in a cut or boil within our mouth or on our tongue? What if each time we made a judgment against another, we added 5 pounds to our weight? Far too often, we invent reasons for  allowing sin into our lives, making excuses for them until, instead of being opportunities for conversation with God, we corrupt our vision to see them as His gifts to us. Most times we’re not only oblivious to how we hurt others, but we can’t see the harm we’re doing to ourselves. It may not seem that grave, not like murder, and it may seem like only a few little lies to “spare” another, but the weight of even the lightest of sins still adds up over time. If we saw a spiritual depiction of ourselves, would we even recognize the frail, bent body carrying the load that we insist we need?

God does not want us to suffer stoically in our sinful nature. He’s given us the gift of the Eucharist to keep us refreshed in His Love on a daily or weekly basis which can repair the damage of minor infractions. For a “deeper clean,” the sacrament of Reconciliation, that is confessing to a priest with sorrow and the intention of avoiding the same and other sins, is available every week of the year; it’s not just for Christmas and Easter. A good confession can return our souls to the same state it was at our Baptism, when we were freed from all our sins and that of original sin. That is quite a powerful sacrament! Do we appreciate these sacraments for their healing nature? Or, do we avoid  sacraments like Reconciliation because we are uncomfortable admitting our weaknesses? Is it possible that we prefer the weight of our sins to the freedom of God’s love? 

Once home with my bags all unpacked and the laundry washed and put away, my memory of how heavy that overnight bag was began to fade. However, the analogy of the sinful baggage we cling to cannot be as easily forgotten. Given that our true home and destination is heaven, we’ll need to divest ourselves of the sins we carry either here on earth  or in purgatory. Let’s work to lighten our loads by participating in the sacraments, forming our consciences to God Commandments, and praying for the intercession of Mary and the other saints as we journey towards home. 

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Desert of truth

I’ve been watching more YouTube than regular television lately and discovered that many of the songs from my youth can be found there. In Billy Joel’s River of Dreams, one phrase caught my attention: “Desert of truth.”

In the song Joel claims not to be a spiritual man, but to describe truth as a desert is amazingly perceptive as well as Biblical. Although, I must admit when I heard the phrase it seemed an horrid way to describe what truth is. I think of truth being rich and deep, whereas a desert is sparse and dull. Yet in a desert, there really is nowhere to hide. It is in a desert where we are removed from all distractions. When one is in the desert, it is living life at its most basic. 

Deserts play a prominent role in the Bible. It is in a desert that the Israelites first learn who God is. They learn to trust that he will provide food and water, in abundance, to meet all their needs. They spend a generation there to remove the influence of Egyptian life and to loosen the grip of a life familiar to them, as harsh as it was. 

John the Baptist chose to live out in a desert area, subsiding on the meagerest of food items. Yet he was a most excellent herald for the Messiah. By living away from cities and towns, those who came out to see and hear John had to make a special journey. This was not about stopping for a few minutes to listen to an itinerant preacher, but a journey to see the main attraction. He encouraged a literal turning away from the lure of secular life and turning toward God. He asked the people who came to see him to not just listen, but to take action, to make a commitment by being baptized. Baptism today calls us all to do the same, but instead of it being a singular action that one takes upon himself, baptism in the Catholic Church makes you a member of a family through Jesus Christ and an adopted child of God. 

Jesus, Truth itself, prepared for His ministry by spending 40 days in the desert. We’re familiar with the temptation that followed after that time, yet those days of preparation were not just for us to know that Jesus, too, was tempted. He spent His first 30 years living amongst men. Even though Jesus was fully divine, He was also fully human and needed the time in the desert to strengthen His connection with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Jesus also recognized that we need times of being in the desert to rest and recharge. In a similar way in Mark’s Gospel, Jesus invites His apostles to “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” (Mk 6:31) And this was in a time before all the modern conveniences and distractions that we have! How much more so should we be seeking out a desert place? 

Truth does have much in common with a desert. Both are stark, simple, yet beautiful. To describe truth as a desert means to not look for a truth that’s comfortable or that we can agree with, but to recognize that it can be sharp, stinging our fragile egos and wounding our pride. But only Truth can set us free and heal us from ourselves. 

Protesting healing

I don’t think any of us want to admit it, but we’ve probably all protested the healing God wants for us. It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn about God through my interaction with Vera, my cat. 

Recently towards the end of my work day, Vera came up and did her normal flop on the desk, stretching out with her back legs towards me. That’s when I noticed her one back paw was practically encased with litter. I was surprised she didn’t clean it off, but she was quietly laying there without a care in the world. I thought I’d help her out and tried using a napkin I had on my desk, but the litter was really caked on; she must have stepped in the freshly wet litter to be that stuck. Once I started cleaning, she was very unhappy with me. I managed to hold her while getting a wet paper towel, but she was protesting with every fiber of her being. As her front paws were over my shoulder, she was literally pulling up my shirt trying to get a firm hold to run away as quickly as possible. 

I knew I needed to be inventive if I wanted to finish what I started. I keep a lap blanket by my desk that was rolled up since it’s still summer weather. I had heard of the “Purrito” approach, that is wrapping up a cat like a burrito to be able to handle them without injury to oneself. I figured it was worth trying. It took two tries to be somewhat successful, but it gave me enough leverage to clean out her paw, especially between the pads as the litter was stuck deep in the fur there. Vera did continue to protest, but not as much vocally and her wiggliness was greatly reduced. Once I felt I got the major pieces out, I let her free. I expected her to ignore me for the rest of the night, but the opposite was true, she stayed very close to me, even purring at times. I think it was her way of acknowledging she appreciated the “grooming” I gave her.

So how does this experience relate to God? Even though a paw cleaned of litter was something Vera appreciated, she didn’t like the process of me wiping with a wet cloth. How many times do we pray to God and are disappointed because we don’t see it happening the way we expect it? We expect God to heal a person. We expect God to make a family trip to be completed without issues and disagreements. But what if the healing comes because of another diagnosis? What if a family can become closer after each person shares their perspective and the impact other family members have on them? God’s ways are definitely not our ways, and sometimes they can be a wild ride!

In pondering this experience, I have no idea what prompted me to wrap Vera up in the blanket, except perhaps my guardian angel giving me guidance. In a strange thought process of how this correlates to God, the blanket wrap is kind of like the Church. When we are enfolded in the embrace of the Catholic Church, doing our best to participate fully in the daily life and sacraments, we are given comfort in our time of trial. Yes, we still may protest, but our “wiggliness” is reduced. Some may only see the commandments and rules to be as restrictive as the burrito wrap, yet it is a far more effective tool of salvation as well as less traumatic than living a purely secular life. 

So the next time you pray for help and healing, be sure to retract your claws of pride, control, and ego, to let God clean out the dirtiness and restore to purity what has been compromised. 

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Prayer warrior

Last Friday one of the churches I frequent had a special adoration taking place at the same time as Rachel’s Vineyard event, which is a special retreat for those seeking healing post-abortion. It’s a humbling experience to pray for others that you don’t know and may never meet, at least on earth.

I love spending time in front of the blessed sacrament. Sometimes I’m mentally chattering away about every detail of my life and other times I may just be sitting in silence, just soaking in the presence of God the way I do when I sit on my cruise ship balcony and watch the waves of the water. However the timing of this particular adoration coincided with those at the retreat when they would be sharing their experiences. The pastor of that parish was participating in the retreat and felt the prayers of those in adoration at that time really seemed to benefit the retreatants in giving them strength to share as well as to help them begin to find healing and forgiveness. This example is just one of the multitude of ways we can be prayer warriors. 

The word warrior sounds rather … combative. Whom are we fighting with our prayers? We are certainly not fighting God; we would never win. Since prayer is talking to God, it’s yet another reason that we’re not fighting Him. The essence of prayer is a communication with God. Intercessory prayer is asking God for His grace and blessings on another, which sounds nothing like combat. What we pray for is strength and protection against the evil that is all around us, and even in ourselves; and that most definitely is a struggle. I’ve heard the rosary being compared to being a spiritual weapon, yet any prayer — including Mass — could be considered one. While we are on earth, we are considered the Church Militant, those who are actively participating in the transformation of a fallen world into one that is constantly seeking and doing the will of God. 

We are all called to be prayer warriors, not just during special times, but on every ordinary day. This could be praying for particular people we know or for those in a particular situation or circumstance, like those traveling or in hospitals or nursing homes. Perhaps whenever you hear a siren or see an emergency vehicle, you pray for those first responders as well as those in need of the assistance. Maybe it’s daily praying for those who have or will pass from this life during the course of the day. One of the corporal works of mercy is to visit those in prison, but if you are unable to do that, praying for them and their families is a good alternative. In an age where language is dividing us into specific groups using every possible type of label, maybe praying for unity and those who seek to continue dividing us is a good tactic for a warrior. There are so many possibilities, it can be overwhelming! You don’t have to pick just one nor do you need to do all. If you’re not sure, let the Holy Spirit lead you. 

I think of intercessory prayer as an invisible thread connecting us across space and time. Sometimes we may see the fruit of our prayers, but largely we may need to wait until we reach heaven to truly begin to understand just how important it is. Let’s not wait until we get there and miss out on the opportunities we have, even at this moment, to pray for another. 

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Songs for the journey

My car radio is tuned to one of two Christian music stations: a local one in Virginia named The Journey, or the national one named KLove. It seems that no matter where I am in my spiritual journey, there is one song that really ends up matching how I’m feeling. 

A few months ago the song Build a Boat by Colton Dixon always seemed to come on whenever I was driving around. Since I work from home, there can be days where my car just stays stationary. I think that the more popular the song, the higher the probability that it will be played when I am driving. What captivated me about this song is the confidence in God that it encourages. Although in retrospect, it’s more of a preparation song. The basis of the song is building a boat in a desert with the expectation that the flood is coming and that God will see me through it. 

I will build a boat in the sand where they say it never rains
I will stand up in faith, I’ll do anything it takes
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I’ll build a boat in the desert place

Chorus from Build a Boat

The chorus is quite catchy and when I sing along with it, I feel like I can do anything! It’s a wonderfully uplifting song. Yet there were times when I was singing along that I thought to myself, “what happens when the rains and the flood do come? Will I be able to handle it like this song says?”

Recently life has been rather bumpy, especially from a work perspective. The song I’m hearing as I drive around now is perfectly what I need. I’ve actually started singing it in the shower! It’s a collaborative song by two artists, Benjamin William Hastings and Blessing Offor, and is named That’s The Thing About Praise.

Sometimes the only way through it is a hallelujah
Sometimes the only thing to do is just to give it to You
And though my troubles shake me
I know they will never move You
That’s why I say hallelujah

Chorus from That’s the Thing About Praise

I think of this song as the “Hallelujah” song, but I know there is an older song with that title. The verses do talk about the general difficulties in life and that sometimes the waters are not parted or the mountain is not moved. It’s these times of struggle when we need to resist the urge to feel pity for our situation and thank God for where we are and what we have. Is it hard to do? Yes. However, when we turn our focus inward on ourselves, we are no longer leaning on God to help us through, we’re looking at what we can do and look to solve our difficulties from a human perspective. Yet when we turn to God and give Him praise for even the smallest of blessings (our next breath or heartbeat), the source of our strength shifts from ourselves to God. 

These particular two songs help us to remember who needs to be our focus: God. Christian radio is filled with songs like these that can speak to whatever you’re feeling in life, bringing God into all aspects of daily life. Your Hallelujah praise song may be playing now. 

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Who is Jesus?

Who is Jesus to you? That question is one we will all be held accountable to answer. However, our answer is not just an intellectual one, but one that also needs to be reflected in who we are and how we live our lives. 

In last Sunday’s Gospel reading from Matthew (16:13-20), Jesus asks the disciples who they thought He was. Only Peter’s response is recorded, but it must have been rather startling for the other Apostles. “Simon Peter said in reply, ‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’” (Matt 16:16) In these ten short words, Peter summarizes the most important aspects of Jesus: His anointing and His Sonship. Only three types of men were anointed in ancient times: priests, prophets, and kings. Jesus is all of these. He is THE Anointed, the one everyone is waiting for (and whom they expect earthly deliverance from Roman occupation). The second part of Peter’s statement is the one that truly no human could have ever known without Divine revelation.

Jesus had been traveling with these men for the better part of three years. After this exchange, Jesus prepared the Apostles for His Passion, Death, and Resurrection. The only way these men could be able to get through this time is by understanding who Jesus is. Most of them will run away. And Peter, who so confidently provides the correct answer, ends up denying that he knows anything about Jesus. This question Jesus asks is to gauge the depth of their faith. 

Jesus acknowledges Peter’s answer as Divinely inspired. However, the only way Peter could have received this is by his close association with Jesus. He had spent years traveling with Jesus, hearing His word, and learning from it. In the beginning of the tenth chapter of Matthew’s Gospel, Peter is part of the group that is sent out by Jesus to preach and to heal. It’s almost a bit like an apprenticeship, where after observing Jesus, the Apostles are sent to neighboring towns to carry out what they saw Jesus do and what they heard Him say. It’s a bit of practice while the teacher is still around and before they spend the rest of their lives doing exactly this. 

How do we answer the question of who Jesus is? Do we demonstrate by word and deed who Jesus is? Do we order our lives around having a relationship with Him by daily prayers? Do we dive deeply by reading and meditating scripture? Do we pattern our actions after Jesus by being the loving servant to others?

In today’s landscape, many look at Jesus as a nice guy and boil down His teachings to be more of an intellectual theory than a call for action. The culture in Jesus’ day was very different from our own and Jesus’ actions were very radical, like talking to women, or correcting the Pharisees. The spread of Christianity changed society. While it didn’t happen overnight, the influence the Church had over the centuries reflects the person of Jesus. 

Each member within the Church needs to acknowledge Jesus the same way Peter did: by professing Jesus as Priest, Prophet, and King as well as His Divinity  in both word and deed. We pray for guidance to do God’s will in order for the Church to better reflect Jesus. 

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Scraps from the table

“Send her away…” is the request made by the disciples in this past Sunday’s Gospel reading. (Mt. 15:23) Yet Jesus did not come to scatter, but to gather all people together.

The Canaanite woman, a person who was not welcome in Jewish company, had boldly cried out to Jesus. Given the attitude the Jews had for many of the surrounding nationalities, in some ways, the disciples’ request sounds reasonable. When I heard that sentence during the proclamation of the Gospel, it reminded me of the feeding of the five thousand. This account is in a previous chapter of  Matthew’s Gospel (14:15), when the disciples ask Jesus to dismiss the crowds so the people can purchase food. In both instances, Jesus does the opposite of what is requested. 

To the modern ear, the exchange between the Canaanite woman and Jesus is very uncomfortable. We hear Jesus comparing this woman and her daughter to the same as being a dog! Can that be right?! Jesus wouldn’t be that cruel, would He? Our natural instinct is to assume it must be a translation error. But the woman is never named, we don’t really know anything about her except her nationality, her daughter’s condition, and the love she has for her daughter has made her very brave. She asks for nothing for herself; she does not ask to be forgiven nor does she admit to any fault. Instead she praises Jesus by addressing Him as the “Son of David” and as “Lord.”

Unlike with the feeding of the crowd where Jesus gives directions to the disciples to orderly control the volume of people by having them sit down, Jesus responds to the disciples request regarding the Canaanite woman by indicating to whom His ministry was focused on: the Jewish people. I can almost imagine the men looking at each other with puzzled expressions. Of course Jesus came for the Jews of Israelite descent, He was the long awaited Messiah and the whole Jewish nation was looking for Him to come. Yet His humble origin proved to be a stumbling block for many, but this woman, most likely having heard the miraculous actions Jesus performed, knew exactly who Jesus was. She also knew that He alone could help her daughter. 

Despite what seems like harsh words, Jesus never sends the woman away. He never tells her she is not welcome, that she shouldn’t address Him, nor does He ignore her completely. He does respond to her as she humbles herself before Him, seeking His pity and mercy. Her daughter was probably her whole world, yet she knows it would cost Jesus nothing to heal her. She uses the analogy that Jesus initiates and compares the healing of her daughter to a scrap of food fallen to the floor for the dogs to eat; it’s insignificant. And here we are over 2,000 years later marveling over this exchange and trying to figure out the spiritual meaning. 

This foreigner sought to be fed a tiny morsel from the table of life. How many times have we eaten from that table? How many times have we received the Precious Body and Blood of Christ? How many blessings have we’ve been given in our life? Do we see these as scraps from the table, thankful to be fed on meager sustenance? Or do we presume that we have a seat at the table right next to Jesus and get frustrated when He doesn’t do as we command? 

God will never send us away. He also won’t do everything we ask of Him because He loves us and will only do what will help us to have a meaningful relationship with Him in order to go to heaven when this life is over. Yet when we humble ourselves before Him, seeking His mercy and demonstrating our faith in Him, God will provide what we need, and sometimes it just might be a miracle.  

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Crazy faith

Does faith make a person do “crazy” things? Depending on your perspective, one may answer YES to that question!

For those who think living a life of Christian faith means following a bunch of rules, doing the same as everyone else in their church, and not having any fun or excitement, I would suggest they read through the Gospels again. This past Sunday’s Gospel from Matthew (14:22-33) is one of my favorites: Peter walking on water. So, let’s unpack how incredible and almost unbelievable this narrative is.

Matthew sets the stage for the encounter, indicating it is very late into the night (the fourth watch), and the disciples are facing rather stormy conditions with the wind thwarting their efforts. The men are tired from battling the storm, compounded with the fact they had not been able to sleep. They cry out to a   figure they see as a ghost. (What other explanation could there be?) But it was Jesus! And He immediately reassures them it is actually Him in the flesh and they are not hallucinating. However, there was the fact that He’s walking on water! That is crazy! Peter boldly meets crazy with crazy, challenging Jesus to allow him, Peter, to walk on the water to meet Him. Then Jesus antes up the crazy by agreeing to Peter’s proposal with the simple word of, “Come.” 

The only times I’ve ever walked on water it has been in a frozen state: once on the Arctic ocean and once on a glacier. However, if, when I’m traveling by cruise ship, I see Jesus walking on the water toward me and if He then invites me to walk on the water towards Him, I’m not sure I could; most especially if the waves were bad. While I have no doubt that Jesus can walk on water, my brain cannot process Peter stepping out of a perfectly good boat and starting to walk on the water as well. I keep tripping over questions that begin with “how” and “why.” Even though I struggle to comprehend that Peter could actually get out of the boat and walk on the water, I have great respect for him in doing so. This may seem like “crazy” faith, but it’s the faith we are called to have and to share. In the face of insurmountable obstacles, God can make a way. 

When I hear this story, I can understand Jesus’ chastisement  of Peter when he starts to doubt and begins sinking. Peter had believed enough to get out of the boat, to take the action, but his faith wasn’t quite deep enough to see him through. For me, my problem would be getting out of the boat. But, I think if I was able to get out of the boat I would run to Jesus and give Him a hug of both joy and gratitude: joy for being able to do such a crazy thing and being thankful that I was able to make it all the way to Him. 

Even for believers, sometimes these types of narratives take on a more mythological aura. We hear it in the context of a time 2,000 years ago and try to make literal correlations, like my cruise ship analogy. However, if I look at my life, I have been called to “walk on water” that had nothing to do with water, but with writing. Nine years ago, I felt a calling to write a faith blog. I had every excuse as to why I shouldn’t: there’s plenty of other people doing it, I don’t have the knowledge to do that, it’s a lot of extra work, etc. Yet each excuse was knocked down, many times as I was praying in front of the Holy Sacrament. It took almost a year for me to get going, but in February 2015 I posted my first weekly faith blog. Go ahead, call me crazy. Sometimes I think I must be! There are times when I have no idea what I’m going to write. Other times I know exactly what I want to write but what comes out is not what I thought it would be. God always makes a way… His way.

Living a Christian life of faith may not always be an adrenaline rush, but it certainly has its moments that leave one in wonder and amazement. Perhaps even in reflection, seeming a bit crazy?

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

1 Corinthians: 25