Author: catholicgirljourney-kc

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Catholic Girl Journey

Talking too much

My parish recently started the program Consoling the Heart of Jesus by Fr. Gaitley. In reading the first assignment, I felt rather chagrined as it described people coming to visit Jesus in prayer, giving Him their requests, and leaving. How many hours have I spent before the Blessed Sacrament with my own soliloquy?

Being human, the best way to connect with others is to see them face-to-face and hear their direct responses to what I say. I can’t do that with God, but seeing the consecrated Host in the monstrance is the next best thing. As everything I have comes from God, I do try to thank Him for the gifts and blessings He has bestowed. I try to be conversational when I talk to Him, describing my hopes, fears and challenges. But I have noticed that I don’t always give Him a chance to respond.

There are times when I wish I could hear God telling me clearly His response, even though it might be rather terrifying to hear a voice talking to me. But when I just keep jabbering about my thoughts and feelings, I’m not usually paying attention to see if God is responding in some way. Do I assume that God will “fix” things once I put my “order” in with Him? I may tell Him that I want His will to be done, but do I want it to happen His way or mine?

On the occasions when I notice that I’m doing all the talking, I try to stop myself and just be in Jesus’ presence. It usually doesn’t take very long before a stray idea comes to mind and I start talking again. Being more aware of what I’m saying when I am in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament is the first step in opening up to Jesus. It will take a lot of practice to get better, but I have an hour every week to try. I hope that if I can improve my face-to-Host openness to God, I will be able to hear Him clearly in my daily life also.

Catholic Girl Journey

Carrying your cross

The fourth sorrowful mystery of the Rosary is Jesus carrying His cross to Calvary. We are all called to carry our cross and I’ve been pondering what this means.

Crosses can come in many different shapes, sizes and types. Sometimes they are of a physical nature, others can be mental or spiritual. Maybe they are the bad habits or the sins we find ourselves confessing again and again. It may seem our crosses control us and we have no power over them. So how can one carry such a thing? Perhaps, like a journey, carrying a cross comes in stages.

As with any problem or issue, unless you acknowledge it, you can’t do anything about it. When we recognize the obstacle that keeps us away from God, we pick up that cross. Acceptance is the first step. For the longest time, my idea of carrying a cross was accepting it. I would say, “Okay God, you gave me this cross; I’ll carry it.” But it seemed  I was just holding on to it and not progressing in my journey to God.

A cross is not something we do battle with, but a tool that can help us practice virtues. Embracing our cross is not about allowing ourselves to commit that sin and then confessing it. Rather embracing it is praying for help and guidance regularly, not just in the moment of temptation. It is identifying the virtue opposite that sin and praying for that. Just as Jesus fell carrying His cross, we cannot think that we can succeed without falling, and many more times than Jesus did. But just as God provided Jesus with the helping hand of Simon, Jesus wants to help us with ours. In our moments of weakness, when we are frustrated in our progress, we can take comfort in the response Jesus had for St. Paul in his struggles. “He said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you, for in weakness power reaches perfection.’” (2 Corinthians: 12:9)

I am not at the point where I can boast of my weakness as St. Paul claims, but it is reassuring that someone so holy and amazing struggled like I do. And when I fall, Jesus is there extending His hand so I can rise, pick up my cross and carry on.

Catholic Girl Journey

Getting in shape with God

Many years ago, I was trying to get more exercise and looking for a way to energize myself for the effort. I thought saying the rosary while taking a walk might be the encouragement I needed, and it would allow me to check two things off my list at once. I tried it, but it was winter time, and bundling up for a walk at 6 AM was a nice novelty, but once was enough. I’m not sure if it was the cold, my lack of interest in getting healthy, the time of day, or the added prayer that squelched my enthusiasm; perhaps a combination of all of those factors.

I have been more successful lately with exercise inside. I am blessed to have some basic fitness equipment at my workplace, and I usually use the cross trainer twice weekly. There are often other employees who come in and use the provided televisions to watch a program as they work out. To me the television is an annoying distraction, maybe because I’m not interested in sports news, which is often the channel of choice. I usually listen to Christian music on my phone or tablet.

Once during the Christmas holidays, when I was trying to be as efficient as possible, I used an audio rosay app on my tablet while working out. Part of me felt guilty that I was exercising while saying the rosary, but when I got home that night, I was able to continue my Christmas baking with a bit more spring in my step. The next few times I went back to the standard praise music but kept wondering, what if I tried the audio rosary app again? So I did; several times. With the specific app that I have, I can say the Divine Mercy chaplet, the St. Michael chaplet and the rosary in a 40 minute workout. I do worry that every time I recite these prayers in the future, I will be reminded of working out. What if they become a chore with this association? But I have an alternative, and listening to music can be both uplifting and still help me focus on my relationship with God.

I think the difference for me this time around is my attitude. Even looking at exercise alone, I see it now as a need to keep the body God gave me working as best it can. Adding a layer of prayer, whether it’s praise music or scripted prayers, serves to remind me to say “thank you” for the body God provided. It’s giving back to Him what He gave to me.

 

Catholic Girl Journey

New Beginnings

January is the month of new beginnings. People make New Year’s resolutions to improve their health, wealth and overall being. The excitement of making change can start things off strongly. But then we put away the Christmas decorations, the kids return to school and we return to our old routines.  If we miss one opportunity in our resolution, we write off the whole goal as a failure. But that’s just not true. Every day is a new beginning.

We bring baggage to every new day like we bring baggage into a new year. Our experiences, our successes and our failures are packed in our memories. Just because the year on the calendar changes doesn’t mean we automatically change, but when a new year starts we are more motivated to make changes. We can anticipate measuring our success by looking across a whole year. Sadly, knowing we have the whole year also allows procrastination, after all there are 365 (or 366) days in a year!

What if we lived just for a day? What if we put into action our resolution for a day and judged ourselves on that? In our world of instant gratification, taking a day at a time could be very satisfying. Of course, the goals would need to be much more manageable for one day. For example, it might not be to lose 10 pounds, but it could be to eat smaller portions using a smaller plate and exercising for 10 minutes. Or maybe if the goal was to visit the adoration chapel for an hour each week, maybe start with 10 minutes. The next time you could try 10 minutes at a different hour.

Confession is another good way to begin, it wipes the slate clean and we are as sinless as if we just stepped out of the waters of baptism. We don’t need to wait for Christmas or Easter, most parishes offer confessions weekly. And if you don’t want to wait until they are scheduled at your parish, you can make an appointment with your parish priest.

Beginnings are not something you have to schedule on a calendar, they are whenever you make them. It’s never too late or too soon to start. Day or night, a new beginning is when you take that first step to change.

Catholic Girl Journey

The journey of Christmas

Christmas is all about journeys. It starts out when Mary makes haste to visit Elizabeth. Then Mary and Joseph make their way to Bethlehem. The shepherds trek from the fields to the manger and the magi leave their far-off homes under the guidance of a star. What unites them all is that each  is a journey in faith.

Mary is greeted by Elizabeth with the title of ‘Mother of my Lord.’ Mary responds with her servant song. It’s the first of many journeys she will take with Jesus as he grows into a man.  These journeys all lead in one direction: to the cross, the tomb and ultimately to rising from the dead so as to pave the way to heaven for all of us.  Mary’s role is that of simply serving.

Joseph’s faith allows him to believe in his dream and to take his wife into his home and provide for her and for the child he knows is not his. He, along with Mary, will receive other visitors in Bethlehem. He will protect his family, leading them into Egypt until the threat to the child has passed.

The shepherds are awestruck as the angel makes his announcement. “Do not be afraid,” they are told. Whether it is fear of the angels or the curiosity of the message, they seek out the child in a manger. Their simple faith is rewarded when they find the baby Jesus, just as they were told, and respond by praising God.

The magi’s journey took them to a different country following a star. In the world around them, they noticed the changes in the night sky. Determining it meant the birth of a new king, they took it upon themselves to travel a long way to welcome the future ruler into the world. Their faith is rewarded when they find the child with Mary and pay Him homage.

Each journey is different. Each encounter with God is different. We cannot compare one with another, nor should we.  Each journey is important in its own way. Not all can be Mary or Joseph, but that does not mean their mission is any less meaningful. It’s when these stories are presented together as a whole that we see a marvelous picture emerging. The whole of humanity  is represented welcoming Christ into the world.  His journey on earth was just beginning in the Christmas story, but the story continues when each of us lays down our life to seek Jesus, adding our faith journey to all these others.   

Catholic Girl Journey

What a little boy can teach

We’re familiar with many Christmas songs and sometimes know all the words, but do we reflect on the meaning?

I listen to Christmas songs the whole month of December. My kind of song is “Joy to the World,” snappy and uplifting. While I do appreciate the slower, more serious songs, I often skip over them to get to more rocking music. This year, however, I have been captivated by “The Little Drummer Boy.”

It’s almost as if I was hearing it for the first time. We’re introduced to the boy who is being invited to join a group who will visit a newborn king. This is what Advent is all about, joining in the preparation for Jesus as the newborn king. We are invited to join, but it is up to us to accept and take action.

Upon the drummer boy’s arrival, he explains he is poor and has no gift, but he can play a song on his drum for the baby. This struck me as every person at any moment in life. We are all poor in God’s eyes, since everything we have is a gift He gives us. The only thing we can offer Him is to use the gifts and talents to the best of our ability. The other discovery is that the boy knows he is poor and still goes to see the king. How often do we think we need to hide our spiritual poverty or work to overcome it, rather than going to God and acknowledging it?

The boy plays a song for the baby, with the approval of Mary. Mary is our mother too, do we seek her counsel on the actions we take? The animals around the manger seem to keep time with the boy playing his song. Have you noticed when others are assisting you in your spiritual activities, encouraging you to do God’s will?

The baby smiles at the drummer boy when he completes his song. Have you ever pictured Jesus smiling at you for some kindness or work of mercy?

No matter how far I travel on my faith journey, there is always a new perspective. Sometimes it comes from a new experience, but it can come from something so familiar, that I can’t recognize the gift in front of me. I hope you have been blessed with many unexpected gifts this year. Merry Christmas!

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Making Haste

Our final Christmas preparations may be turning into a frenzied rush to get things completed. We realize now that what seemed like four weeks of Advent is just but a few days. Even the Sunday Gospel speaks of Mary making haste to visit Elizabeth (Luke 1:39).

With so many things as yet incomplete, I find myself making mental lists and planning out what I’m going to do when. While that does include things like attending Christmas parties and meeting up with friends, I have to be careful that in my rush to remember my lists and plans, that I don’t hasten too quickly through these events and miss them completely. For example, I had a checklist of what I was going to do after the Christmas Holiday party at work. All day I felt myself checking the clock to see when it was going to start and then reminding myself of what I wanted to accomplish afterwards. Eventually the party began, and as I made the rounds to chat with folks from other departments with whom I don’t usually interact, I kept checking the time thinking about getting my errands done. It wasn’t until I sat down with one friend who really needed someone to listen, that I recognized my checklist had to be pushed off for another day. I had to stop and be in that moment, giving the gift of my time. Once I made that decision to spend the time talking with her, I was able to enjoy her company and appreciate the gift of friendship.

In my lovely little kitchen everything is in easy reach, but when I try to rush to get things done, I find I have a case of the butterfingers and things fall or drop from my hands. I can quickly get frustrated, even while listening to cheery Christmas music. While my target each year is to make seven different kinds of cookies, Christmas will come whether or not I finish. A few types of cookies are staples, ones that my Mom made only at Christmas and I grew up associating with the season. I always push myself to make at least one new recipe a year, to keep trying new things. A few other kinds are ones that I haven’t made in a while or hit recipes from a previous Christmas. The point to making those cookies is to share them with family, friends and co-workers, renewing old memories and making new ones. So as I pick up the measuring cup and begin to wash it for the umpteenth time, or cleanup the snowfall effects of the powdered sugar all over the counter, I need to smile and remember that I’m not competing in a bake-off competition, but pouring my love into my baking to share with others.

Trees do not decorate themselves, cookies do not bake themselves and presents do not wrap themselves; this is all true. But these activities are ways we choose to demonstrate the love we have for others. Following Jesus’ example, we offer ourselves to each other: our time, our companionship and the work of our hands. Haste may be needed in some preparations, but if we keep moving too fast, we just might miss the truly blessed moments when they  arrive.  

Catholic Girl Journey

Prepare to rejoice

The single rose-colored candle may look like a mistake to one unfamiliar with an advent wreath, but there is a reason for the bit of lightness against the purple. Amid the longest nights of the year (at least for the northern hemisphere), the three lit candles are powerfully strong with the rose candle reflecting the light from the other two and adding its own. This mirrors what has been happening within us. We reflected on the Word of God, sought out reconciliation with Him and tried to make level the uneven roads in our hearts. Our burdens have been lightened as we have helped to ease others of their burdens. We are radiating the light of Christ through our actions during this advent season.

This week we prepare to rejoice in Jesus’ coming. Since we know the outcome, it’s very easy to simplify the Christmas story but Mary and Joseph could only trust in God as Jesus’ birth approached. When doors were closed to them, they were humble enough to stay in a stable with the animals, just to keep warm and have a place for Mary to give birth. Those aren’t the conditions they would have chosen, but their humility was rewarded with the unexpected visits of the shepherds and the three wise men who came to pay homage to the baby.  It reminds us in this season of parties and gift-giving, that even if all does not go the way we plan, if we humbly allow God to work in and through us, He will bring us joy.

I read a post on Catholic365.com last year about it being harder to believe that God humbled Himself, not just to become human, but to be born a helpless, defenseless babe, than it was to accept the death and resurrection of Jesus. I had to stop and think about that one. Since most people will have encountered a baby or two during their lifetime, we can all relate to the complete dependence of infants. Words fail to express the wonderment and awe of the sacrifice involved when God humbled Himself to enter the world just like the rest of us, but in such poor conditions.

In the Prayer of St. Francis, “it is in giving that we receive” sums up the whole Christmas season. Humbling and giving of ourselves is how we can prepare to receive and appreciate the gift of joy.

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Prepare to stop, listen and reflect

Preparation for Christmas in full swing. The second week of Advent continues to call for reconciliation as a way to prepare for Jesus’ coming. With all the busyness of the season, it can be hard to find the time to reflect on our relationship with God. Reconciliation requires that we stop and look at our thoughts, words, actions and inactions. It requires time and may not fit easily into our schedule. But similar to baking, the time you take to prepare will be seen in the results.

I love baking and Christmas is the time of year that I can gift others with my baked goods without needing any other reason than the season. I gift so much baking, that I need to project-manage my efforts. Creating a list of ingredients for seven different kinds of cookies and at least five different tea breads allows me to make one trip to the grocery store, but in order to do that, I need to know which recipes I’m going to use.

Not only that, but with a full-time job, finding the time to bake requires  that I look at my schedule and plan what item is going to be baked on what day. Some cookies require the dough to be chilled prior to shaping and baking, so unless I want to finish at 3AM, I will prep the dough the day before I plan to bake. Some cookies take less than 10 minutes to bake, others will take a bit longer. Those minutes of waiting in between are precious time that I can use to reflect on Christ’s birth and what I need to do to become closer to Him.

One definite way is to take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation. Making it a priority isn’t easy. One year I had two errands: confession and purchasing gift tins for my cookies. I was concerned that the traffic at the mall might lead to my missing confession, so I went to church first. It made sense to me until my temper was sorely tested in the parking lot of the mall. It took all the grace I received in the sacrament to smile and not react to the aggressive drivers trying to find a spot or vacate one. It was a great lesson and one I don’t wish to repeat.  What good is putting confession first if I lose my temper within the hour?

While celebrating the season is important, don’t forget to make time to prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We need to stop, listen and reflect on His Word. Only then can we begin to take a step in coming closer to Him by meeting God in the sacrament of reconciliation.

Catholic Girl Journey

Preparation is making me wait

Advent is upon us, a season meaning “arrival.” Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas and ends on December 25th. These four  weeks prior to Christmas are set aside to help us prepare for the coming of Jesus. Which coming? Both his birth and his return.

The birth of Jesus occurred over 2,000 years ago as both an historical event and a spiritual one. Israel had been preparing and waiting for this event for a very, very long time. The coming of the Savior was proclaimed to Adam, to  David and to many prophets in between. Isaiah, the prophet who most wrote about Jesus’ coming, lived 500 years prior to His birth. That’s a long time to prepare! But in many ways Jesus’ coming did not match the expectations of the Jews, and few recognized him as the promised Savior.

But the first Sunday in Advent reminds us that there is also a second coming of Jesus: either at the end of the world, or at the end of our life on earth. Often we think these events are too far in the future to waste time thinking about or preparing for at this time.  But Advent offers a spiritual wake up call. Too often we get caught up in all the things we “have to do” to celebrate Christmas, but miss the chance to prepare for meeting Christ. If you knew Christ was coming for you on December 25th, how would your preparation be different than if you were merely preparing to celebrate His first coming?

This year we have almost 4 full weeks to prepare for Jesus. The waiting does not have to be an empty time to fill with gift buying and decorating. Reading the Bible, praying the Rosary, or just sitting in silence before God for 10 minutes each day are ways to open our heart to His coming. Using an Advent wreath to pray is both a mental action and a physical one as we light the candle(s) each day and pause to reflect on prophetic writings about the coming of the Savior. Our time spent in prayer can be our gift to Jesus. Celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation helps to remove the tumbleweeds and rocks in the desert of our hearts to “…prepare the way of the Lord! Make straight in the wasteland a highway of our God!” (Isaiah 40:3) While we receive God’s mercy in this sacrament, we adorn our souls with the beauty of His grace.

Let us prepare first for Jesus’s second coming so we can celebrate in joy the memorial of His first.