Catholic Girl Journey

Now what?

In praying the Surrender to the Will of God novena, one of the daily prayers got me thinking: 

“And when I must lead you on a path different from the one you see, I will prepare you; I will carry you in my arms; I will let you find yourself, like children who have fallen asleep in their mother’s arms, on the other bank of the river”.

With the move down to Virginia slowly settling down to the last few walls to be painted and a few more boxes to be put away, I feel like I’m on the other side of the river. In so many ways and experiences in the whole moving process, from the decision to the execution, I felt that God was with me and leading me. I know God has not left me, but there is a bit of “what happens now, God? I don’t know this side of the river, which way do I go?” It’s like in Psalm 30 “Once, in my security, I said, ‘I shall never be disturbed’… but when you hid your face I was terrified.” (Ps 30-7-8) I think God has a lot more confidence in me, than I have in myself!

Perhaps it was because I was seeing His guidance through the process, I came to expect that it would always be there and always manifest itself. But just as a child’s ability to apply what is learned is hindered if the teacher is always there assisting him, we are given the time and opportunity to practice lessons we have learned. There are some days when I can look around my new home, smile and thank God for His generosity. There are others when I look around and think “it’s too much for me, or dear Lord, why did I get this one?” It’s not like there was another that I wanted more. In fact, the kitchen is so fabulous that I thought it would be snapped up before I would be able to put in an offer!  Now, as described in the novena, I need to trust God and His will for me in my new home. He will provide for me while I’m providing for the needs of others, using my kitchen to prepare meals for various parish events. 

While I don’t know how long I’ll be here, I don’t expect to move anytime soon. So why do I expect God to lay out the full plan for living here at this moment? I spent 22 years in my previous home. On the day I moved in I would not have been able to fathom what my life would be like in year 22. So, I must learn to trust God to nudge me if I start to wander too far off the path He’s leading me. I have to start walking, rather than looking around and wondering what to do next. Step one is to just put one foot in front of the other. 

Writing history

When you look at all the countries that have active Catholic Churches, it’s rather amazing. For over 2,000 years, evangelists have been setting out on missionary journeys. Our world today seems rather small, yet the need for evangelists never goes away.  One might even think that it’s grown greater through the years.

When we hear of recent studies where a fraction of Catholics attend Mass every Sunday or believe the eucharist is simply a symbol of Jesus, we wring our hands and bemoan the situation. It seems like these statistics are presented as if never before in history has this happened. Scandals are always tragic and may differ from age to age, but they have happened before and will again in the future. The need to evangelize both baptized Catholics and non-Catholics has been based on the erroneous beliefs of each era. We need to remember that hindsight is 20/20, and use caution that we aren’t interpreting past events with our present-day understanding. 

The past — good, bad, and ugly, has made us who we are today. As a result of these trials, Councils like those of Nicea and Trent brought together those consecrated to God to pray, discuss, and refine the tenants of faith. They didn’t bring new revelations to light, but clarified existing beliefs. These teachings have helped us to connect the dots, but they will always remain imperfect due to our human nature. The Infinite God will always be beyond our comprehension, no matter how much our logical brains desire a firm grasp. Those who have gone before us have laid a foundation for us to build upon and we should appreciate the efforts, while continuing to evangelize today.  It is our turn to write church history!

Before we can go out and try to inspire lapsed Catholics, we need to make sure we understand what we believe. Our beliefs go beyond the list of items we recite in the creed weekly. We believe that the purpose of the Catholic faith is to nurture and grow a personal relationship with God. We believe Jesus Christ is present — Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in the consecrated hosts. All our actions, all our decisions need to reflect these beliefs. When we live as we believe, we will be evangelists to all our brothers and sisters.

Catholic Girl Journey

What do you call her?

It was a single meow, but I knew exactly where Vera was and what had happened. She ran into the powder room as I was cleaning and I didn’t realize it before I shut the door. She had finished exploring and was ready to come out. The meow almost sounded like a question, and was almost like, “Mom?” Without saying a word, I released her from her enclosure with a smile on my face. Perhaps it was because of the feast of the Assumption this month, but my action to free her made me think of how Mary intercedes for us.

According to a document I found posted on the Secular Franciscan Order – USA website, Mary has at least 143 titles associated with her. I believe there are probably many more, as my favorite, Our Lady of Czestochowa, and Pope Francis’s favorite, Our Lady Undoer of Knots, were not listed. Many do invoke her assistance, as Helper of All in Danger, Lady of Good Help, and Mary, Mediatrix of All Graces. Those titles remind us that we can ask for her aid whenever we are in need. It is not surprising that we may be in awe of her, as she is known as Immaculate Conception, Mary Queen of Angels, and Sanctuary of the Holy Spirit, which can be daunting to ponder. 

Perhaps the most controversial, Theotokos or Mother of God, was not so much about her, but about who Jesus really was. The Council of Ephesus clarified the Church’s teaching about Jesus being both human and divine and through this mystery, we can call Mary by this quite awesome title. For over a hundred years before that council, the question of Jesus’ nature — human or divine, was called into question. Several councils, from 325 through 431 A.D. addressed the unity of Christ’s humanity and divinity from different aspects until the last, which named Mary as Theotokos. But this is what Mary does best: lead us to Jesus. Mary is the Star of the Sea of life as we journey in faith towards our heavenly homeland. She is the Seat of Wisdom waiting to give Good Counsel to those who seek a closer relationship with God. She is the Aqueduct of Grace, pouring out heavenly gifts to those in need. 

Of the 143 titles listed, 19 of them contained the word “Mother.” As the humble Handmaid of the Lord, I believe the title Mary likes most is Mom. She is happy to be the Mother of the Mystical Body and Mother of the Church, which allows all Christians to call her Mom. As we celebrate the solemnity declaring her bodily presence in heaven, let us call out to her, asking her aid in releasing us from whatever enclosure we find ourselves trapped in, or blockage we have encountered in our relationship with Jesus.

Catholic Girl Journey

Peaceful sleep

In my recliner with my television on, I can fall fast asleep, even when it is a program that I find interesting. Yet as soon as I lay down at the end of the night and bring the cover up, I feel like I’m instantly wide awake.

Whether it’s recapping the events of the day, or trying to prepare myself for tomorrow’s activities, my mind seems restless once my head hits the pillow. Vera tries to lull me to sleep with her kneading and purring, and while that can be relaxing, it’s just not enough to put me in dreamland. I keep reminding myself that I can’t do it all and that I need to put everything in God’s hands. I recall hearing a story about Pope St. John XXIII, that before he would go to sleep, he would pray, “I’ve done my best I could in your service this day, Oh Lord. I’m going to bed. It’s your church. Take care of it!” Can it be really that easy?

Recently in the Magnificat, there was a meditation from St. Peter Chrysologus where he reminded his flock that when we are asleep, God is not. God does keep watch over everyone and everything that occurs. While the enemy may take the opportunity to plan and create mischief, God knows what’s happening. 

“God cannot lose what He Himself guards. You author of deceit, you are fighting the Lord and not fighting against His servants by trying to have the result of your deceit ascribed to their negligence.”

St. Peter Chrysologus

There are many battles we will need to fight, but sleep is not one of them. Every day we are given the opportunity to do God’s will. Every day we can choose to hand over our lives to Him. Brooding and worrying does not help us in our challenges, rather they take away the precious minutes of the day we could enjoy if we trust that God takes care of us. Every night we are given the opportunity for a peaceful sleep, if only we just let go and let God keep watch over us. 

Catholic Girl Journey

Don’t turn back, or drag it along

It’s been a full three months living in my home in my new state of Virginia. For as long as it took me to sort through things and box them up, donating or tossing a good portion, it has not made the unpacking and settling in any faster. While there really isn’t any deadline, I feel like I’m behind in getting it done. I was recently listening to a podcast by Franciscan Brothers Casey and Tito, Everyday Liminality,  which I found rather appropriate for starting a new chapter of my life. 

The topic for the podcast was about interpreting song lyrics, and Brother Tito brought up a song called No Roots by Alice Merton. “Ministry isn’t ours, it belongs to God,” he said as he talked about the itinerant Fransican life. As the brothers discussed their upcoming life changes (Casey being ordained and Tito professing his solemn vows), both agreed that when moving, it’s not just personal property we are called to give up, we must also be open to the change. The reason why problems seem to follow us, is that we can be too insistent on the status quo rather than being open. There will always be people that are easy to get along with and we enjoy their company. Others give us multiple opportunities to practice patience. If we find we’re struggling with the same issues, it’s probably because we have brought them along. 

I was very active in my previous parish, and I must admit that I’ve wondered whom I could talk to at my new parish about adding a particular song or two to the repertoire, or making other suggestions from my experiences in my previous location. Thankfully, I’ve only thought about it. I have signed up for two ministries that I believe will use the talents that God gave me, but are totally different from what I did previously. At times, my cautious attitude when volunteering makes me feel like I’m not giving God my all, but I have to remember that my intention is to observe and experience my location and what it has to offer and to become comfortable in being me in this new location. When I can appreciate what the parish and charities have to offer, then I can be a completely willing and productive volunteer. 

I don’t consider my previous parish participation and experiences void; on the contrary, they have made me the person I am today. And they’ve made me a better person than I was prior to those experiences. However, there is no turning back now, and I don’t want to face the same struggles in a different location. God has planted me here, and I want to bloom where I’m planted, even if it takes a bit of getting used to the new soil and some careful cultivation by Him.

Catholic Girl Journey

To infinity and beyond!

“To infinity and beyond!” is the motto for Buzz Lightyear, the astronaut from the Toy Story movies. After binge watching various tributes to the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, I was thinking, that should be the motto of us all. 

At the end of 1903, the Wright brothers successfully flew a plane for the first time. Within 66 years, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were walking on the surface of the moon. Flying fascinates me. I can’t say that I understand all the physics or mechanics of it, but I love learning about it. Having been born just 2 short years after the moon landing, flying anywhere is something that I’ve always known. For those who lived during President Kennedy’s space challenge decade, the various programs about the space race must seem like old history. However, for me, each special presented the events from a different perspective that was both educational and surprising. 

Perhaps because it’s not common place anymore, especially in the media, it stands out that every time an astronaut was giving a message from space, the phrase, “God bless…” was used. In the recounting the Apollo 8 mission, which occurred over Christmas of 1968, I was astonished to learn astronauts Borman, Lovell, and Anders had read from the first book of Genesis. I could understand if they read some of the story of the Nutcracker or ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, but it seemed that the men understood the deeper significance of the moment. They knew they would be on television and that most people would be watching the broadcast on Christmas eve. In an age where science presumes to trump religion, it’s nice to know that these very educated men, who actually escaped the bonds of gravity during their lunar orbit mission, took their role seriously and brought meaning to their work.  

I mostly fly when I’m going on vacation. During my first major trips, I would pray to God that if it was my time, could I have my vacation first before He called me home. Inevitably I would be in mid-flight when I’d start to think about where I was: in a large sealed tin can, being hurled at incredible speed high above most flying birds and even the clouds, to a destination very far away. “Now is not the time to think like that,” I would chastise myself. While flying is one of the safest modes of transportation, when it fails, it does so spectacularly. It’s hard not to think about what would happen after that. I used to bemoan that if I did pass away, I wouldn’t be able to get to this place or that location on my travel bucket list. I then realized that God has created everything. How can God deny His daughter a look around the world He created? Then I thought, “Why stop at places on the Earth? Why not ask God to see the whole universe?” I can almost imagine God taking me to Saturn for an up-close look at the rings, explaining how they were created and why. Perhaps He’ll take me to His favorite vantage point to look at what we call the Milky Way. 

Some folks may have a bit of fear they will be bored when they pass from this life, but with an unknown number of other galaxies out there, I don’t know if eternity will be enough time to see them all. Buzz Lightyear may be correct in his theology: To infinity and beyond, indeed!

Catholic Girl Journey

Good all the time

I was at Mass the other day and the priest said something that really resonated with me: God is always good, even when life is unfair.

The start of that day was rather a rough one, and while I don’t like going to Mass grumpy, I know that’s when I especially need to go. As Father was giving his homily, his point struck home and I needed to hear that. I do get passionate about my work and my home, so when things are not working out the way I would like them to, it seems unfair and inconvenient to me. It’s like there’s not enough time in the day to get everything accomplished and if situations don’t go in my favor, I get further behind. The more I get behind the more worried I get. After worrying about things for awhile, I get annoyed that I’m spending all this physical/mental/emotional/spiritual effort on trivial matters way beyond my control. But God rains blessings on the just and the unjust, the ones at peace and the ones that worry. The difference between them is that one is attuned to God’s will and sees His blessings in everything, and the other still has a focus on themselves, rather than God’s will. 

God IS good all the time, and all the time God is good. It can be hard to feel God’s embrace when difficulties arise. Rather than focusing on our troubles, our focus should be on how God is sustaining us; how His goodness and kindness are around us: in the smile from a stranger, the purr of a cat, and the blue sky above. If we start thanking God for how things didn’t go wrong when they could have, we can put into perspective life’s unfairness. If anyone knows about the unfairness of life, Jesus’ death can be the poster for it. He was abandoned by His followers, denied by His closest friend, and executed as a criminal. However, Jesus’ suffering and death is not meant to make light of our situations, rather is an example of how to totally surrender to God. It also shows the power God has in making suffering become something beautiful. 

God loves us. God showers us with blessings. God is good all the time. Thank God that He is and does all that and more.