relationship with God

Pursuing happiness

How many times have you heard someone say, either about themself or a loved one, “I just want (them) to be happy.” Is happiness something that can really be achieved and long-lasting?

In the preamble to the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America, one of the most famous lines is the right to, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Have you noticed that only happiness has an unending quest associated with it? It doesn’t say we have the right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. The right to life and liberty are fully granted. Yet happiness is not that simply achieved. Life and liberty do not have shades of grey associated with them. You are either alive or dead. You are either free or in bondage. 

Happiness, however, is elusive and depends entirely on the person’s perspective. Ask someone what makes them happy. Is there just one answer or many? Will only having one item on their list make a person happy or do they need them all? What makes one person happy may make another person absolutely miserable. While I find enjoyment in knitting, another may prefer trying to play darts with knitting needles rather than to actually knit with them. Yet so much of our culture is hyper focused in achieving happiness, as if there is just one thing that will make the rest of one’s life a fairytale, living happily ever after. 

I think the founding fathers were using the phrase, pursuit of happiness, to assert independence from expectations. In colonial days, there may have been some choices a person could make, but they were limited. One’s profession, spouse, and location were limited opportunities based on a person’s circumstances. Sons were expected to follow in the family’s occupation, be it farming or some other trade. Can you imagine being the son of the carpenter and having no inclination, or ability, to work with wood? Yet, a man may not have had much choice. If there was another son who excelled in it, his brother may have been able to join the army or professed religious vows instead. The Declaration claims that each man has the choice to pursue what can make him happy and not submit to his parents’ expectations for his life. 

In our times, we tell our children they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up. Children have so many choices across all facets of their lives, it is a wonder they can make any decisions at all! We want our children to pursue what makes them happy and do our best to support their journey. But are we doing our children a disservice in setting their expectations for happiness? Are they pursuing choices that make them selfish and at the cost of the happiness of others?

Introspection is good for a person, as it allows one to review their circumstances from an objectively neutral perspective in order to learn how to grow and be a better person. In our culture, instead of introspection, the retrospectives people ponder are about pleasing themselves and getting what they want. It’s as if the whole world was created for them and they don’t spare a thought for another. If their actions seem generous, it is for the recognition that they are good people, not to help those in need. 

Our true happiness, however, is found with God. He understands us because He created us. The happiness He wants us to pursue is a relationship with Him and doing His will. It is not a once and done thing, we don’t just get baptized or receive Holy Eucharist once and we’re happy forever. It’s about making everyday choices and being happy with them, or learning when those choices stray from God’s guidance for us. God has given us all gifts and talents that do make us happy. We are to use them to bring glory to God and to make the world a better place. I have knit prayer shawls and hats for people going through cancer treatments. It doesn’t cure their illness, but can provide a moment of comfort and warmth in the midst of their struggles. It makes me happy to knit, and gifting to family, friends, and strangers for their enjoyment elevates the happiness that I can’t achieve when the item is for myself. 

I think we need to examine our expectations for happiness, understanding that life’s journey has moments of happiness based on the choices we make. We also need to stop trying to find happiness in our selfish pursuits, and see how the gifts God has given us can be shared with others, punctuating our lives with happy moments experienced with God and all of His creation. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Food for the journey

While the weekday masses are now firmly back in Ordinary Time, the Sundays after Pentecost continue to highlight major components of the faith. Last week was the Most Holy Trinity and this weekend the focus is on Corpus Christi, or the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ.

One way a parish can celebrate Corpus Christi is by processing with the consecrated Host in a monstrance. For some it may be a quaint way of keeping old traditions alive. However, there’s more than just tradition in this ancient practice. Look at the pieces of what goes into a procession: the Holy Presence of Jesus in the Host, the congregation walking behind, and songs of praise, thanksgiving, and adoration. This is like a miniature version of life. This is what we’re supposed to do on a daily basis: walk with God, allowing Him to lead us, and sing His praise in all that we do. In practicing on a small scale on this solemnity, we are exercising our faith muscles so that we can use them in our daily lives. 

The Eucharist is food for our life journey. While the Church asks us to attend Mass weekly, if we were able to attend daily, we could receive Holy Communion each time. However, regardless of how often we receive, we need to be on guard about it not becoming a habit. A habit, as described in Merriam-Webster is, “an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.” Basically, when the Eucharist is received out of habit, then its effect on us is diminished. It’s similar to when Jesus visited His hometown, and because the people thought they knew Him and who He was, He was not able to perform many miracles amongst them. 

Attitude is the key for preventing such a precious gift from becoming a mere trinket. At each Mass, we prepare ourselves to receive Jesus in the Sacrament by being attentive and participating in the liturgical responses. We take the time of silence before receiving to open our hearts, to have an attitude of welcome for Jesus. Just before the Our Father is one of the most important prayers the priest says: the Eurcharistic Doxology: “Through him, with him, and in him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is yours, Almighty Father, forever and ever.” In this prayer, we lift up the Mass, with all our intentions through Jesus, uniting them with the Holy Spirit in an offering to God the Father. When we receive Jesus, the opposite happens: we allow Jesus to work through us, with us, and in us, and in unity with the Holy Spirit. We don’t receive the Sacrament to stay the same person we are in our sin, but rather to be transformed out of our sinfulness into the best version of ourselves. We strive to become the Body of Christ on earth by allowing Christ to use our hands and feet to do His will. The Sacrament not only feeds us spiritually, but stirs up the Holy Spirit we received in Baptism and Confirmation to continue the guidance long after our bodies have absorbed the Host. 

Corpus Christi is the Latin phrase for the Body of Christ. As we celebrate this food for our journey, let us welcome the solemnity and the sacrament it celebrates, so that we can be blessed with all the graces God can bestow to our open hearts. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Gifts for the Father

I know that Father’s Day is next Sunday, as I’ve been seeing advertisements for the “best” gifts that Dad will love. But have you ever thought about giving God, the Father, a Father’s Day gift? As the creator of all, there really isn’t anything He needs, yet it seems like a huge miss if we neglect to acknowledge God as our Heavenly Father. After all, without God, we wouldn’t exist.

Dads love a good barbeque and receiving tools and gadgets honor their chef talents. While Jesus did grill fish for the apostles, it’s impossible for us to give God barbeque-themed gifts for Father’s Day. While a barbeque is all about cooking with fire, the result is food ready to eat by others. Perhaps to honor God with a Father’s Day gift, we can volunteer to make food for a homeless shelter. One option could be to take a elderly person grocery shopping who doesn’t have the ability or means to do so. Another way is to donate a grocery bag to the food pantry. In assisting others with their meals, we can reflect the generosity of God in our lives, sustaining us in all our needs.

Socks are simple gifts, but they can be both practical and fun. While Jesus might appreciate socks if He continued here on earth, God the Father is pure spirit and has no need of socks. But others in our communities do have clothing needs. Perhaps we buy a new pair of socks to donate to a shelter or an organization that helps with the clothes for those who can’t afford to purchase them. We could also go through our closets to see what clothing we haven’t worn in awhile that is still in good condition and donate them as well. Whether we give from our surplus or purchase new for those in need, we are honoring the fatherly role model to provide the warmth and protection that clothes give us. 

One gift fathers appreciate is their car washed. Here again, God does not have a car to wash, so how can we translate that option into a divine Father’s Day gift? Washing a car is not about spending money, but rather giving up our time and taking action. Volunteering our time at our parish or at diocese events could be optional ways to give God a similar gift. Maybe it’s asking if there is a particular project around the parish campus that needs someone to step up and offer their time and expertise. Time is a precious gift from God and when we donate it back to the Church, we are praising God through our efforts.

For some dads, a gag gift is the perfect gift. These gifts result in smiles and laughter. I do not have any idea of what type of gift that would make God laugh, however, if we bring laughter and smiles to others, that could be a gift God would like to see. Laughter does make the best medicine and visiting a nursing home, hospital, or even house-bound neighbors could brighten their day and ease their circumstances. When we take the time to see other people as individuals created and loved by God, we see a bit of the divine beauty within them. Visiting those who could use a friend allows us to be God’s hands, eyes, and smile to them. 

As dads age, sometimes the most treasured gift is that of spending time with them. This is one gift we can give God. Spending time in an adoration chapel or even at home in prayer or reading scripture, we can spend time with God. We can open ourselves up and listen to Him. In the quiet calmness of our hearts we can welcome Him to dwell with us. We can thank Him for both the challenges and the blessings He has granted us thus far and trust that He will continue to provide in the future.

As we honor the fathers and the fatherly role models in our lives, let us not forget to honor God the Father. He has provided us the men in our lives that have reflected aspects of His heavenly love for us. 

Resolutions and new beginnings

This year the Catholic Church is celebrating the Jubilee Year of Pilgrims of Hope. The theme conveys that we are on a journey in which we should keep a positive attitude, i.e. hope. But what really is hope?

I was watching a YouTube video recently where the commentator’s remark drew a distinction between hope and expectation. It’s caught in my subconscious, as it randomly pops into my thoughts. The word hope gets used quite frequently in a very casual manner. People hope for all green lights when traveling. After several days of rain, one hopes the sun will come out soon. But is this the type of hope we as Christians are supposed to have? Or, is hope like love, where there are several layers of meaning, depending on the context?

According to Merriam-Webster, the definitions of the word hope as a verb are: 1) to cherish a desire with anticipation, 2) to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment, and 3) to expect with confidence: trust. As I read these three definitions, I nodded in agreement to each of them, however, it seems to me that hope is really all three of these together at once, rather than optional uses of the word. These definitions use the word expect in them, so how can hope and expectation be different? I think the last definition is the one that rings true for Christians, when we trust in God, we let His will be done, even when the outcome is totally not what we would plan for ourselves. Expectation seems to convey a sense that we know what the outcome will be, where hope is only anticipating a positive resolution.

I was surprised that the definition for hope did not convey a joyful aspect. We don’t hope for something bad to happen, but something that is good. Perhaps it is signaled in the first definition of “cherishing a desire.” But hope goes beyond merely wishing for something specific, it is an attitude of positivity in anticipation. There’s a sense of mystery to hope, and an awaiting of surprise. The expectation of hope is to be delighted in what comes about. Hope can be either a resolution, or a new beginning, or both! 

Being Pilgrims of Hope, our destination is heaven, which is also  the beginning of eternal life with God. We have some indication of what heaven could be like, but we won’t really know until we get there. In the letter to the Romans, St. Paul says, “Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees?” (Rom 8:24) If we look at the world around us, we can see many beautiful and wonderful things created by God. However, our world is a fallen world, and we can also see the corruption brought about by sin. Expecting heaven to be like our current world without corruption is as far as our limited human minds can comprehend. Yet hope also conveys that there is more than just our expectations. We will be fulfilled in our immersion in the glory of God in heaven. 

As we journey through this jubilee year, reflecting on what the word hope means to each of us is key to the celebration. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “the virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man…it opens up his heart in expectation of eternal beatitude.” (CCC 1818) May we leave our limited expectations of God and heaven behind and joyfully look forward to being with God, in the sacramental encounters in our life on earth, and in full communion with Him  in the life to come.

Shifting focus

Why do you go to Mass? While that seems like a simple question, how you answer it may reveal much about your relationship with God. 

Attending Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation is one of the precepts of the Catholic Church. We are not “encouraged” to attend, but rather “expected” to do so. There may be some times when it does feel every bit of an obligation. However, if our sole reasoning each time is to check the box that says we’ve done our duty, it may be time to reevaluate our priorities. On a to-do list, attending Mass should not be just one other thing we do besides taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, and grocery shopping. While all these activities are important and need to be done, Mass is not just a thing to accomplish but a retreat from all the tedious tasks we have to cross off our list.

In the Mass, we praise and worship God. This can seem easy to do when there is robust music with familiar hymns so that everyone can sing along. We feel the energy of the music, we have a smile on our face, and it makes us feel good. If that is what is attracting us to attend Mass, that may be a sound reason initially, but it will not sustain our faith in the long run. When we attend Mass because it makes us feel good, we become the focus and reason for our attendance, not God. When there are times that Mass makes us feel good and satisfied when we leave, we can rejoice in that feeling, but we should never go expecting that feeling. 

Through the Mass we encounter Jesus in His fullness: Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. As the Mass is composed of two parts, the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist, we receive Jesus in both His Word, through the Gospel, and in substance, Holy Communion. With each Mass we are given the opportunity to listen to Jesus speak to us as well as speak to Him when we pray after consuming the consecrated host. We can thank Him for all the blessings we’ve received, invoke His assistance for all the challenges before us, and ask forgiveness for all the times we’ve fallen into sin. Receiving the Precious Body and Blood of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament is the closest to heaven we have on earth. We physically are interacting with Jesus as He feeds us with Himself. 

When the reason we attend Mass becomes a visit with a friend, the focus is not on us and what we need to do or how it makes us feel, but rather on God. When we open our hearts to let Him speak through the priest and deacon, we allow God into ourselves and our lives. Reflecting on our visit may prompt us to make adjustments to our life and our interactions with others, sometimes tiny changes while others may seem to turn our world upside down. The result is making us the best version of ourselves that we can be, so that we can share the blessings we’ve received with others, bringing the love of God to them.

Mass is not about what we get out of it, but what we give instead. We give our time, our attention, and open our hearts to God. We share our blessings with others when we volunteer and donate to the collection. We reflect back to God how much we acknowledge and appreciate all He has given us by our attitude towards the Mass. Perhaps the next time we attend Mass, we can ask God how we need to shift our focus for Mass from ourselves and our needs, to Him and for the grace to do it. 

Tangles and knots

May is the month dedicated to Mary and recently I’ve been pondering one of her titles, Undoer of Knots. 

I was working on warping my loom, using a fine cotton yarn that I realized had been a bit too overspun. This resulted in the yarn wanting to twist unless it was under tension. Since a loom works by using the yarn under tension, it sounds like it would be a good use for it. However, one needs to actually get it on the loom in order to put it under tension. When one is dealing with 400 measured out strands of yarn, each about 3 yards long, it doesn’t take long for tangles to begin. As I warped the loom, I worked in small sections at a time, maybe about 20 or so ends. I could hardly believe my eyes. I would straighten the section and immediately upon releasing it, it would twist and kink up along the visible length I was working on. I was being given a challenge. Would I accept it? Or would I cut it all off and choose a different project?

I must confess there was more than one occasion that I wondered if it was worth it. This project is a practice item, I don’t have to do it. Why was I putting myself through such hassle? “It’s an opportunity to practice patience,” I told myself. But the other part of my brain would question me, “isn’t this supposed to be fun, why do you want to practice patience with this?” Another explanation I thought of was it being an opportunity to practice this particular weaving challenge, so that I know I can handle it when it comes to a project I specifically want to do, especially if it’s for a gift. Still my brain was challenging me and I was getting frustrated. Then I remembered one of Mary’s titles is Undoer of Knots. As my hands worked through the loops and tangles, I pondered on what this means for Mary, and how my current predicament could shed light on it.

The excess twist in the yarn was causing it to loop over other strands that were making their own loops. I didn’t necessarily have a knot, unless in my frustration I yanked too hard and the loop closed over the other strands. Given the fineness of the yarn, it became a really tight knot. I had to look carefully at the knot to find the outermost loop and gently tease it away from the other strands. 

When we pray to Mary to undo the knots in our lives, be it for help with our habitual sins, issues in our families or workplaces, or even our general world, we need to have patience as Mary is working. It takes time to undo a knot. It takes finesse to find which thread to pull and gently work with it. 

Undoing knots also requires great attention to detail, not just of the knot itself, but of the other threads around it. By working with one thread, another knot could be created elsewhere if one is not paying attention. When we pray for Mary’s intercession under this title, we are asking her to look at whatever situational knot we are experiencing, and to work at it from whichever angle will prevent another knot from surfacing. It can seem like our prayers are not being answered; however, if we allow Mary to intercede with Jesus for the best possible outcome, we can be assured that the knot will be undone.

When we invoke Mary’s assistance, we also need to remember that when we seek assistance, we need to be open to the Spirit’s prompting, but avoid overthinking and try to resolve the issue ourselves. When we seek to fix our problems, we can create more tangles and knots in our life-yarn that is straight and smooth. It’s very tempting to make a plan to address an issue and our take-charge culture feeds that impulse. However, when we realize the difficulty is too big for us to address on our own, we need to leave it firmly in the hands of our spiritual guardians. Like at the wedding feast in Cana, Mary’s response may be for us to follow whatever Jesus tells us to do. And like at the feast, filling up the ceremonial jars used for washing when wine was needed sounded crazy to the staff, we may be prompted to take action in a way that seems to have no connection with our problem. But Mary and Jesus are outside of time and space; they can see the impact of it all. When we pray, we need to trust in their intervention and be open to their guidance. 

While it seemed to take forever to warp the loom, I did succeed. I absolutely had moments of frustration, but I also had moments of mirth as I thought of Mary as the Undoer of Knots. I know that my knots were nothing that needed her intercession, but it was nice to feel a kinship with her doing the same action. 

Feline lessons

Eight years ago I adopted my cat, Vera. In that time she has taught me so many lessons, including spiritual ones! Her presence has been a blessing to me, and I will be forever grateful to God for bringing her into my life.

Approach prayer with joy! As I used the Magnificat prayer book for morning and evening prayers, Vera would be right there, rubbing up against the book and purring away. I would ask her if she was saying her prayers too by doing that. I loved hearing her purr and it always put a smile on my face, even when I was going to bed later than I wanted or waking up early for a special event. Prayer time is important, but so is our attitude about it. We should approach all prayer with joy and awe at the ability to be heard by our Creator. 

Vera at morning prayer

Patience is something to always practice. Not being able to communicate in a common language, we each needed to learn how to communicate with each other. Trying to keep her safe meant not allowing her in certain rooms, or not allowing her to chew on string — like my scapular. Teaching her what the boundaries meant, I had to find a way to communicate the correction without hurting our relationship. I didn’t want her to fear me, but rather appreciate that I was keeping her safe even though she may not have understood why I was asking her to amend her behavior. The infinite God who knows all, gently corrects us in our actions and decisions. We may not be able to see the bigger picture and how what we say or do impacts the wider world, yet God knows and understands. While I’m still learning to be aware of God’s kind nudges, I’m much more aware that He does them because of caring for Vera.

The amount of love I have for Vera cannot be expressed in simple words. Yet I know it is but a thimble-full in comparison to the love that God has for me. God loves me as I am and always wants me to be closer to Him. He wants me to become the best version of myself that I can be. Knowing the love I have for Vera puts me in awe of God’s love for me. It makes the incarnation of Jesus as well as His Passion, Death, and Resurrection boggle the mind at the depth of His love.

The most important lesson, however, I learned over Lent and Easter this year. Shortly before Lent began and the day before I left for Japan, the vet drained two pounds of fluid from Vera’s abdomen. I was blessed that she was able to greet me when I got home, however, the vet drained her twice more over the course of the Lenten season. As we focused spiritually on Jesus’s Death and Resurrection, I watched Vera decline. On Easter Monday, she passed in my arms. All this talk about resurrection, yet animals, because they are not made in God’s image or likeness, are not thought to have immortal souls, nor is there any teaching that we will see animals in heaven. It has been hard to process this grief because it seems so… final. Yet I’ve come to the conclusion that the goal of heaven is to be with God. Whomever else, be it human, or animal, or some other being, will be an added blessing if I see them in heaven, but is not the requirement to be happy in heaven. I do believe that God has created all things, and I will not limit Him to who or what is in heaven, or who is resurrected when our souls are reunited with our bodies. While it has been challenging to celebrate Easter with the joy it deserves, I know I’m celebrating it with a heart full of gratitude for the time I’ve had with Vera and all the joy she brought into my life. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Lord. 

Even though I grieve the loss of my feline companion, I know I will welcome another in my home when the time is right. I leave it to Divine Providence to bless me with yet another cat who will continue to teach me about God in ways I can’t even imagine. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Eye splinter

Comparisons should come with warning labels and spiritual safety glasses. In a world where likes are tallied and people can be “cancelled,” comparing our lives to the lives of others can have drastic consequences.

I’ve been watching way too much YouTube recently and one line that is universal to every video is, “Hit the like button.” Indicating you like the video and, if you want to see more of the creator’s content, subscribing to the channel are inputs to the complex calculation that is supposed to spread the creator’s content and recommend it to others who have similar viewing habits. Yet it feels as if, no matter where you go in society, everyone has a similar mentality of getting likes or positive online reviews, no matter how small the interaction. Every time I use a service or order online, it seems like I receive a survey so that I can provide my judgement of the experience. While it’s good to seek out how to improve, oftentimes it seems like I’m being asked to participate in a marketing ploy so that the company can use those favorite advertising descriptions like most popular and best seller. These statements may seem harmless on the surface, but for those with a competitive nature, it’s a subtle cue that triggers a desire to want the item, just because the proverbial everyone has it. We don’t even realize that these statements are causing us to compare ourselves with others, about whom the only thing we know is their purchase of that item or service.

In the carefully curated world of social media, we can do physiological damage to ourselves if we compare our lives with the lives of others. Even for those who keep it “real,” we are only seeing a small sliver of their life. We all know that life is complicated and challenging to navigate, and each person faces their own unique trials and issues. Yet all too often we pass judgement, either on those we see or on ourselves for not achieving what the content creator did. In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus warns us, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?” (Lk 6:41) A splinter in the eye sounds painfully horrid, but the reason Jesus uses the eye is because it’s through our eyes that we see the world and make comparisons of ourselves and others. Our eyes are constantly taking in the world around us and making micro decisions about our environment, looking for potential dangers, as well as noticing delicious food or something that will help us in our life. When our sight is hindered or blocked, we cannot get a full understanding of our circumstances and certainly not that of anyone else. Most often we fail to recognize our faults and yet feel empowered to tell others about how they can correct theirs, regardless of whether or not they sought our input. 

Comparisons can be a tool, if we use them properly. If we look to another and notice their words and actions bring the love and peace of God to others, then we can look to them as a role model. Mary and all the saints are role models for us to follow. However, if a person seems to sow division and accusations, we want to be sure we don’t mimic their behavior. We should not judge them, only use that example to cleanse us of bad habits. If we see similar traits reflected in our own behavior, rather than condemning another, we should seek God’s mercy and grace, not just only for ourselves, but also the person that is suffering in a similar way. Even better is to ask God to help all those who are stuck in that same negative trait. 

Life is not a contest for the most number of likes; each of us suffers with eye splinters. Let us seek God’s grace and mercy to address our words and actions that don’t bring His love and light to those around us. 

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Got problems?

In our fallen human condition, we face problems daily, perhaps even multiple times throughout the day. They can range from the truly basic needs of where a person’s next meal will come from to if it’s time to start looking for a new job; from which medical treatment will address the health crisis to which school a child will attend. How often do we lift up our problems to God to solve?

Early on in my working career I was advised that if I was going to bring an issue or concern to my superior, I should also bring at least one solution, if not multiple options with my reasoning of which was best. That makes sense in a working world, but sometimes it feels like I apply that to my relationship with God. While I’m sure God does appreciate me using the brain He gave me to analyze the situation and the possible outcomes, He may be frustrated in my lack of trusting Him to make the best decision for not only my immediate need, but for my lifetime. As a human, my perspective is very limited, as is my knowledge of the problem at hand. I’m not privy to the effect the problem or its resolution may have on others. God sees all. God knows all. Yet, here I am not asking for help, but instructing specifically what God needs to do. I don’t consider myself a Martha, but in retrospect, I’m a bit like her, telling God how He needs to address my problem.

For every problem there is an answer. We humans have problems. God is the solution. When we try to provide solutions ourselves, we are trying to be God. This was what made the forbidden fruit so attractive to Adam and Eve, that they can be like God. Most times God does want us to participate in solving our problems, but that we do so by following His will for us. Relying on our own initiative, we shut God out of an opportunity that could grow our faith and relationship with Him. It may also prevent God from working through another person who could provide us the aid that we need. God also understands how different solutions will affect us and those involved both immediately as well in the long term. In our finite understanding, we tend to think that once a problem is solved, that is the end. Sometimes it is, but sometimes the results can affect us way longer than we can even imagine. Our short-sightedness leaves us blind to the consequences we will face if God answered our demanding prayers exactly the way we ask of Him.

Supplication, or petition, is one of the types of prayer that is a constant for every Catholic, including every time we attend Mass. Asking God for help is a good thing! Asking God that He helps us in a very specific way is where our prayer can go awry. Let us examine how we petition God for assistance, taking Jesus’ example from the agony in the garden, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Lk 22:42)

Catholic Girl Journey Logo

Not alone

On a physical level, it seems that we are born into this world with nothing and leave it just the same. But that outlook does not take into account our relationships and experiences. We are not only just individual persons with our own experiences, but also a family, a community, a society of interactions.

I recently caught a portion of a video in which the commentator said he believed in individualism. He felt sacrifices for the larger community was foolishness and that all our experiences were at an individual level. While I initially skipped past the video, I was bothered by it. I don’t know if the author has any religious affiliation, however, I don’t see how a person could believe in God and also think that, basically, the world was all about himself. I then wondered if he was married, as surely that construct would be the antithesis of individualism. If he is married, perhaps it is an illustration of how much society is devaluing marriage. When I start to ponder something that agitates me, I know the only way I can put it to rest is to confront it with what I believe.

A person is created through the relational acts of his/her parents and with the blessing of God infusing a soul into the conceived embryo. Our beginning is not that we just pop into existence, but that our existence is a result of actions. Our first experience, not that we are aware or understand, is that of being in the womb, where our mother nourishes us for the time of our gestation. We live and grow within the relationship of our mother’s care. From the very first moments of our lives, we have an impact on others and they also have an impact on us. While our physical dependence is on our mother, the family to which we are born into is also impacted by our existence, since pregnancy does affect many aspects of the mother’s life. Some expectant mothers may have extra energy, while others require more rest. Some have crazy cravings for peculiar food combinations, while others struggle to keep food down. All of these changes have an impact on her family, unbeknownst to the child developing inside her. 

Our dependency does not stop once we are born, as it will take many years for a child to mature and be able to care for his/her self. At an individual level, our experiences during our growing years will be unique for each person and will shape us into the person we eventually become. But it’s not just physical growth that we experience, but also mental, emotional, societal, and spiritual growth as well. We observe the world around us and make decisions based on what experiences we have. From an individual perspective, we do make choices of how we react and behave, but often it is prompted by the actions of others around us. If someone makes a joke, we laugh. If someone is sad and cries, we may cry with them or offer a shoulder for them to cry on. If we have good news to share with others, we want them to celebrate and be happy with us. Even after we reach the point of being able to care for ourselves, our family and community are hugely impactful in our lives. No matter how independent we are, or think we are, we always rely on God’s grace and blessing to keep us in this world.

Sacrifice could be a whole blog topic itself. However, the context of the comment about it being foolish caused me to feel rather indignant. We make sacrifices to live at a very basic level. We need to work in order to have a home, food, transportation, and so forth. We give up our time to earn money; that’s one aspect of sacrifice. Perhaps because we decide how the earned money is spent, it may not be seen as a sacrifice by those believing in individualism. Another sacrifice is being part of a family, we give up our time to spend with them, help them, and celebrate with them. Love is a sacrifice; sometimes it’s easy and doesn’t seem like any effort and other times it can feel painful. If believing that sacrifice for others is foolish, what does that do to the person’s community? Do they walk away from their family and change friends frequently to avoid foolish actions? I suspect that those subscribing to individualism probably choose some sacrifices willingly, but may use their philosophy to avoid others. 

Our lives are a tapestry of experiences with others. Even if we choose to spend time alone, our relationships and memories will continue to influence us in these moments. If we are shunned by all, we still will not be alone. God will remember us, since “upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you.” (Isaiah 49:16)