relationship with God

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Rebellious house

This past weekend the new parochial vicar, Father Armando,  started his assignment at our parish. Looking at the Sunday readings, I hope they are not a sign of his time here! We hear from Ezekiel about a rebellious people, then Paul talks about a thorn in the flesh he suffers with, and the Gospel talks about the lack of belief from Jesus’ home place preventing Him from working miracles. I’m not sure what that means for Fr. Armando, but what does all this mean for us?

What struck me most of these readings was the one from Ezekiel. The Old Testament is a foreshadow of the New Testament, however, sometimes the parallels can be so nuanced, we only read what occurred to the Israelites and forget to apply it to ourselves. The Old Testament is all about God teaching His people how to have a relationship with Him. As He slowly reveals Himself in the first books of the Bible, it becomes a journey home. Isn’t that what we are on now, a journey home to heaven? If we consider the land of Israel as a parallel to heaven, how does that change the impact of the reading? The stiff-necked people are refusing to listen to God’s word. God warns them they will not be able to stay in the land if they keep ignoring His word. God does not want them to lose their relationship with Him, so He sends prophets to make His will known to them.

We are children of the New Testament. Thanks to Jesus, we have a bit of heaven on earth with the Eucharist. However, we are just as much in danger of losing heaven as the Israelites did in being exiled from Israel. When we pick and choose what we want to believe of the dogmas of the Catholic Church, when we ignore God’s revelations, and when we make choices that divide, hurt, and encourage sin, we are being just as obstinate and rebellious as the Israelites. We hear God speak to us weekly at Mass, or maybe more if we attend weekday Mass or read Scripture, but if we do not take the time to examine how God may be speaking to us in these words, we are as deaf as the Israelites were to the prophets.

The second reading from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians illustrates that we do not need to be perfect to get to heaven. While the first reading seems all doom and gloom, the second reading shows that everyone experiences times of weakness and sin. The difference is the attitude towards it. Do we excuse our sins because we are fallen humans? Or do we seek God’s assistance with the very sins that can keep us from being with Him in heaven? We don’t celebrate the sin, but that God can do wonders for us despite our sin.

The Gospel then ties the first and second readings with what glues everything together: faith in God. We need to not just petition God for His help, but to be open to the methods He chooses to help us. When we put our faith and trust in Him, our cooperation can lead to many miracles. And when we doubt His abilities, we close ourselves off to a relationship with God and His ability to work within our lives. This affects not only ourselves, but potentially all those who cross our path in need of an experience with Jesus. We could be the hands, feet, ears, smile, and love of Jesus on earth, but if we don’t have a relationship with Him, He cannot shine through us and we cannot bring a bit of heaven to the world around us.

We are sinners and we have the sacrament of Reconciliation to restore our relationship with God. Let us strive not to be a rebellious house, but to use Paul’s example of accepting whatever thorns we receive in life, allowing God’s love and mercy shine through our imperfections, and keeping faith in God.

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God’s place

Bishop Robert Barron has a saying that has become so popular, the Word on Fire organization sells t-shirts emblazoned on them: Your life is not about you. I would take it one step farther and add: Neither is heaven.

In many of the books and videos that Bishop Barron has participated in, he has consistently taught that we need to have a Christ-centered life. Until we order our lives around Jesus, we will never be able to have full peace and joy. This means giving up what we want, stop feeding our own egos, and instead, follow God’s will for us. That is what the saints have illustrated with their lives, so it is possible. In our secular-oriented age, which seeks only to soothe our own egos and appease our own feelings, it can seem like an impossible task. WIth God’s help, nothing is impossible.

As humans, we live in time and space and our language reflects that. We can talk about things that we will do in the future, things we are presently doing, or things we have done in the past. God is the creator of time and space, and thus exists beyond it. Trying to describe heaven in our language is difficult because our knowledge and language lacks the ability to adequately convey the spiritual realm. We say we want, or expect to, “go” to heaven when we die. But what is heaven and why do we want to go there? The Catechism of the Catholic Church tries to define its essence in three ways: God’s own “place,” eschatological glory or beatific vision, and the saints and the “place” of the spiritual creatures, the angels, who surround God. (CCC 326) The word place is used in quotes because in our time-and-space language, it’s the best word choice to use, even though heaven is outside of those constraints.

If we try using our language to describe going to heaven, it would be like getting on a plane with a one-way ticket and flying to another country on the other side of the world without any preparation and taking nothing with us. In most cases we would need at least a passport and perhaps a visa to enter that country. For some countries, certain vaccines or shots are recommended so that we don’t become ill with disease that is common in that area. Communicating with the local people may also prove difficult if we don’t know the language; we can’t expect everyone to speak like we do. If we traveled with some of our currency, we cannot expect it to be accepted in every place we visit there. Yet far too many people assume that because God loves them, they will be welcomed into heaven, God’s place, on their own terms. 

Heaven will be everything we want and hope for only when we want what God wills for us and hope in Him. We are given this time on earth to cultivate a relationship with Him. While we can never truly comprehend what is infinite, we can get to know aspects of God that He reveals to us through the Church, the sacraments, and our interactions with one another. When we live with Jesus at the center of who we are during our earthly journey, we are preparing ourselves to enter heaven. When our lives mirror the commandments, the beatitudes, and the works of mercy, it’s like we are learning the language of heaven and storing up foreign currency. When we participate in Mass and the sacraments, it’s like we are preparing our passports, visas and medicinal needs to travel to heaven.

If we aren’t interested in having a relationship with God while we are on earth, why would we want to go to heaven? If our lives are all about fulfilling our wants and catering to our feelings, going to a place that is God-centered would not be desirable. It’s not like we can try out heaven and see if we like it; if we go there, it will be for eternity. 

God created each of us with gifts and talents. He allowed whatever flaws we have, as we live in a fallen and corrupt world. He has given us the freedom to choose to have a relationship with Him. The more we want, desire, and pursue that relationship, the more we reflect what He has given and taught through the Church. When our lives are centered around God, then heaven will be a most welcome place. And when we go there, we will be able to call God’s place our home. 

More than food

It all started with an apple. It ends with bread and wine. Why is our salvation centered around food? What significance does it have on our spiritual lives?

The apple has been the iconic symbol of the fall of man for many centuries, yet in reality, Genesis never mentions what it was that Adam and Eve ate, only that it was the “fruit of the tree.” There are many trees that provide produce, like oranges, lemons, almonds, walnuts, and coconuts. Early scholars suggested that the fruit was a fig or an olive, which was common in ancient times. However, if there was only one tree in the garden that they could not eat, perhaps whatever fruit it was is no longer in existence? It could explain why there is no special identifier for that fruit beyond the fact that it was produced by the tree. Does it matter what type of fruit it was that was consumed? Curious human brains want to have these details, but sometimes in wanting details, we miss the bigger picture. What is it about eating the fruit of a tree that we need to pay attention to? Perhaps it’s more about the tree producing the fruit, something that, ultimately, rests in the hands of God. As humans, we can plant seeds and trees and care for them to the best of our ability, but we cannot force the fruit to come. An apple is actually a good example of the fruit of the tree as a source of nutrition from God. We need to do absolutely nothing to prepare an apple to be eaten; we don’t have to peel it, we don’t have to cook it. We can just take a bite and enjoy!

God uses patterns throughout salvation history to effect change. One example is when the Israelites were wandering in the desert complaining and they were struck by seraph serpents. God had Moses fashion a bronze serpent on a staff and raise it up and anyone who looked at it would survive their bite. (Num 21:4-9) This is considered a precursor to Jesus on the cross. We could also say that the fruit of the tree eaten by Adam and Eve is the precursor to the bread and wine we use for communion. If it was with food that we sinned, then it is through food that we are saved. However, there are two large differences between the fruit of the tree and the Eucharist.

While bread and wine are both food, they don’t come ready made for us to eat. We humans have to put time and effort into making each. This doesn’t mean that we are in control of our salvation, rather, that we need to participate with God to achieve salvation. We work with the fruit of the earth that He provides, and apply the knowledge and experience we have gained in order to make the bread and wine. Ironically, each of these food items are on the opposite ends of the shelf life spectrum. Bread, unless it is made with lots of preservatives,  really only lasts one day. Wine, on the other hand, takes time to produce and gets better with age. We can interpret these polar opposites to understand that God will give us what we need today and will also provide for our future. 

It’s not just any bread and wine that has salvific properties, but rather those that are consecrated during Mass. While humans have transformed wheat and grapes into bread and wine, Jesus transforms them into His Body and Blood, leaving only the properties of bread and wine to observe. In the Eucharistic miracle accounts I’ve read, any microscopic testing of the consecrated host structure was found to be consistent with muscle tissue from the human heart. Jesus loves to feed us with Himself, to have a relationship with us. In receiving Jesus in the Holy Sacrament, we welcome Him into our bodies and into our lives. The desire to become better that caused Adam and Eve to sin becomes the basis of Holy Communion. Thus, food continues to play an important role in salvation history. By partaking in the communal celebration of Mass, we look to strengthen our relationship with God and with one another.

Balance of life

This past week was filled with both highs and lows for me. Yet in both there were celebrations of life. It is the gift of faith that lets me see God in both and to thank Him for all that He provides.

On June 10, my cat, Vera, turned ten years old. It is a milestone for her, as she was diagnosed with a cancer that she shouldn’t have survived the year, let alone the past seven. The vet staff that takes care of her now think she was misdiagnosed, and whatever she does have, we have been able to keep it from impacting her life too much. I celebrated the day by taking off from work and spending it with her. My family came over for dinner and it was a lovely visit. Later that night as I checked my phone, I saw a message from my neighbor that his wife had passed away a few days earlier. As I read her obituary, I realized she was just a few months younger than me. She had been battling cancer for the past three years and while the initial treatment went well, it did end up spreading and cut her life short. What a rollercoaster of emotions, from being so happy to feeling so sad for my neighbors.

I am not sure how long I will have Vera in my life, so even when she wakes me up extra early or is interrupting my work asking to be fed, I try to appreciate even these moments that bring frustration because I know our time is limited. I do see her as a blessing and I’ve mentioned in several previous blogs how in caring for her, I can get a glimpse of the love God has for me. All this time I’ve focused on Vera’s limited time, but with my neighbors’ passing, I realized it could just as easily be me that goes before her. We don’t know how long we have on this earth. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day as well as planning special events or vacations, that we lose sight of what’s really important: our relationship with God. At any time, we need to be ready to stand before Him, no matter what our age or the vitality of our health. However, we can’t live every day expecting it to be our last either.

Psalm 23 is the one most people associate with comforting the family and friends who have just lost a loved one. I suspect that’s due to the final line, “And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come.” (Ps 23:6) However, I often say the first line, more as a motto when I feel like I’m being too materialistic: “The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.” (Ps 23:1) I have quite a bucket list of house projects as well as travel ideas and crafting projects, that even if I lived healthy to 100, I don’t think I would be able to accomplish it all. I’m slowly learning that when I do encounter too many “wants” at a time, I turn them over to God, letting Him know of my desires but putting the fruition of those items in His hands and timing. 

Psalm 23 is a very short one, yet it packs a powerful punch. One of the main concepts it reminds us of, is the sheer abundance of God’s blessings. When we look at someone who passes in their early 50’s, to those half that age, it may seem that they lived a long time, however, for those around that age or older, it seems their life was too short. No matter which perspective we have, we need to realize how many blessings were given in that lifetime. We have memories to reflect upon, to bring both a smile to our face as well as a tear to our eye. It is with gratitude that we thank God for the gift of shared friendship for whatever the length of time. 

Long and short, happy and sad, life is a combination of all these, and the balance of which is in the hands of God. With a faith-filled relationship, we can trust that no matter what occurs in our life, God will accompany us through it all and bring us to dwell with Him always.

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Faith as a skill

Many people talk about having faith, as if it was something that belonged to them or was a characteristic of their natural being like brown hair or green eyes. Perhaps faith should be looked at as more of a skill, than an attribute.

I’ve challenged myself this year to practice weaving, so that I can both learn and produce more quality products. My goal is to complete at least one project a month and I have a number of kits that will see me through most of the year. As it is already June one would think that measuring out the warp would be something that I would have no trouble with, since I need to do that for every project. I had trouble with my May project, and started making the same mistake again this month. I was happy that I caught it in time, but was really flustered that I almost made the same mistake. However, it does underscore that my goal of practicing to complete a project monthly will be beneficial as I can continue learning, and noticing when I am about to make an error. Similarly when I was finishing a project on a sewing machine, I had to look at the instructions again to remember how to set it all up. It was only the second time I used the machine, but that, too, has a little learning curve to it. Not all my weaving projects will require machine stitching, so I’ll need to do even more projects before I feel sufficient in my machine sewing skills. 

As I was refreshing my memory of how the sewing machine works, it reminded me that it was like practicing patience: you need to have opportunities presented in order to actually practice patience. But it doesn’t just stop with patience, or even the virtues; it’s really faith itself that needs to be practiced so that we can build up our skill set that include the virtues, and the beatitudes, and the sacraments, and whatever other religious practices that we are called to. I don’t think one can ever plumb the depths of the knowledge of the faith. We can spend a whole lifetime and never learn it all, but that doesn’t mean we give up and don’t try. Rather we learn and practice. If we want to develop our skill in scripture, perhaps we read the Sunday readings in advance and ponder them before Mass. Or one could take time to read and reflect on the Mass readings daily. Maybe it’s expanding your reading to other books about the faith like the Catechism or biographies of the saints.

No matter what we choose to practice, we need to make sure we allow ourselves to make mistakes. Continuing with the reading of sacred writings, the error we may encounter may be more of a time issue. We may not achieve the goal we set out, or we may have mistakes or errors in what we do. That’s the whole reason for practice. Even professional athletes practice regularly so that they can perform to the best of their ability during the game, and they don’t always win. Life is much more precious than a game, and while some errors we can just acknowledge and move on from, others may benefit from confessing it in the sacrament of reconciliation. The sacrament isn’t just for mortal sins, but also for the pesky venial sins that continually seem to trip us up.

Being a Catholic Christian doesn’t mean that we are perfect. It means we strive to be as perfect as our heavenly Father, but know that we can return to a relationship with Him when we fall. God has a unique plan for each of us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a plan to deepen our knowledge, and to practice a Christ-centered life. 

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Need a break

June is here and with it comes summer vacations and long weekend breaks. It seems like no matter who I talk to, the sentiment is always the same: it’s never long enough.

We were made for work, to be stewards of creation and use the products of our hard work to sustain ourselves. While the world of work looks much different than that of the bible, the principles around work are largely the same. While we are always to strive to do our best, we are also called to not let work consume us, but rather take a break from it: weekly. Some think of the creation story in Genesis as just a nice story, but it teaches us the basics of how to be human. (Gen 1:1 – 2:3) 

First God separated light from dark, and we are called to imitate Him, in bringing light —the light of truth — to those around us. Water in the bible can be a sign of chaos, and that is especially true in creation, “and the earth was without form or shape, with darkness over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters” (Gen 1:2). On the second day God brought order to this chaos by separating the waters of the sky from that of the sea. We, too, in our daily undertakings are called to bring order and structure. On the third day, God starts to build on what He worked on the previous day by separating the land from the water and bringing forth vegetation. As God brought forth plants from the ground to eventually be harvested, so we are to produce in our work as well. Sometimes that will be a physical product or change, while for others it will be intellectual in nature. 

The second three days of creation mirror the first three, in that they populate what was created in the same order. On day four the luminaries in the sky are defined: sun, moon, and stars. The word used for the purpose of the sun and moon is “govern.” To keep the order created on the first day, we need proper governance. This is true in every aspect of life, not just in work, but also in our life as a whole; we need to follow some sort of rule-based structure (preferably that of God’s direction) otherwise we will not be able to do the work we are called to do. On day five God fills the air with birds and the sea with all that swim in it. God “blessed” the creatures and gave them a purpose to be fruitful and multiply. These are the first to receive such a blessing. (Gen 1:22) While they are not equal to God, they do share in the ability to create by having offspring. One can consider them co-workers with God. We are meant not to work alone, but with others and for others. 

Day six is the big day; the one where animals, and more importantly humans, are created. But to humans, God goes one step further than all of creation. Not only does He make us in His image and likeness, but He also charges them to have “dominion” over all of creation: vegetation, creatures of the sky and sea, as well as all the creatures of the ground both wild and tame. God entrusted all of creation to human beings, not to do whatever we want with it, but to care for it in each generation. Likewise our work life needs to mirror that purpose; not just doing whatever we feel like doing, but to focus on what is the best we can do to keep creation for the next generation. The language used is also key, as dominion connotes sovereignty or royalty. Humans are not slaves to God, but rather part of His royal household and able to bring His order and His rule to our region.

Lastly, there is the seventh day, the one God blesses and makes holy; the day of rest. God didn’t need to rest from His actions, but He knows we need to do so. He gives us the guidance within creation of how we are to work, but also to make sure we take the time to rest. We cannot do our work if we don’t have the proper rest. That’s why taking a vacation or waiting to retire in order to relax will never allow us to reach our full purpose as human beings. In our modern day where everything moves so fast, it’s easy to get caught up in our work and activities seven days a week. But without recharging ourselves by taking time for God and family, our ability to function is a mere shadow of our full potential. 

We all need a break and while vacations are good, we shouldn’t neglect the mini-vacation God calls us to every Sunday. We may need to put away the technology that tempts us to distraction and change our routine. Yet the more we strive to the ideal of rest God calls us to, the more focused we can be in our work, and potentially more efficient so that we can fully unplug, recharge, and rest in God each week.

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Title or vocation?

This past Sunday the Church celebrated the feast of the Holy Trinity. In an effort to try to understand God better in this feast, we tend to describe aspects of God with titles or labels. Yet the true essence of God cannot be summarized down into a few words. As a reflection of God, the same is true with us, even if we label ourselves. 

WIthin the Trinity, we usually identify each person by what He does: Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. None of these descriptions fully delve deeply enough to really have a relationship with God. The Creator has asked us to address Him as Father, and one could write a whole book about the deeper meanings of why this title is so important. We call the second person in the Trinity Jesus, because He was born at a point in time and was addressed by that name. There is a whole litany of the name and titles of Jesus, and Redeemer is just one of them. The third person of the Trinity also has a number of descriptive labels: Comforter, Advocate, Paraclete, and even the name changed in English from Holy Ghost to Holy Spirit because of shifts in language and meanings.

As humans, we like to use descriptions to categorize ourselves. Our first title is that of being a daughter or son when we are born, setting us in relationship to those responsible for us. If we have siblings, then we may be called brother or sister, or even more descriptively as older brother and younger sister. As we grow we become students and may augment our titles by the activities in which we are involved: soccer player, swimmer, dancer, pianist. Some of these titles may see us well into adulthood, and for a few may become their career. For others these will fade into the background of our experience or be relegated to that of a hobby. 

As adults we typically can indicate the title of how we want the world to see us. For many it may be the role they have in their career. For those who work as doctors, nurses, lawyers, and CEOs, etc., most people will have a general sense of what they do and what their responsibilities are. My title at my company is not really a true reflection of what I do and when someone inquires about my job, I usually describe what I work with (websites) rather than my title (product owner), since it does not convey the same understanding as other job titles. Some folks may describe me as a baker, since I enjoying baking all sorts of delectables like breads, cakes, brownies, and cookies. However, since I only bake occasionally, I wouldn’t consider myself a baker. With my newfound enjoyment of weaving, I strive to work multiple times a week on my current project, yet again, since it is not my profession, I would only use the term weaver in describing it as one of my hobbies. Depending on the person or audience we’re introducing ourselves to, we may choose one title over another based on the relevance we perceive the others will be receptive to.

After all these years, I can remember being taught about vocations in the Catholic elementary school I attended. Vocation isn’t just a job, not merely an action, but a call from God to a particular state in life. I remember learning the three states: marriage, religious, and single life. In looking up the definition for vocation, Merriam-Webster says, “summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially: a divine call to the religious life.” The etymology of the word derives from words that mean “to summon,” “to call,” and “voice.” Since we live in such a secular culture, the thought of having a calling from God is not well received. When husbands and wives talk about their vocation as being the most important in their life, the outcry that other titles should have a higher priority only serves to illustrate the lack of faith in society. There are sacraments for both marriage and the priesthood, yet other religious vows and the call to the single life can have the perception of being less important because there is no corresponding sacrament. However, God calls everyone to their unique vocation, so that not one vocation is “better” than another. We need all three types of vocations, as they work in concert with the others to support our earthly journey. With our free will, it’s up to us to either embrace God’s call or reject it.

Titles may come and go in our life and the labels we use to describe ourselves will shift over time. Yet it is our response to the vocation that God is calling us to that will determine if we achieve the final summons of God to become a saint and live in eternity with Him. 

Unity

With Pentecost coming up next Sunday, I was pondering what to write, and what kept jumping out at me, even while reading prayers in the Magnificat, was the word unity. 

At first, I thought it was very odd that unity kept coming to mind. I first brushed it aside and tried to think about aspects of the Holy Spirit, and again, unity came to mind. The Holy Spirit is the third person in the Trinity because it is the shared love between God the Father and God the Son. The Holy Spirit is, literally, the unity between Father and Son. Yet, my thought process wanted to write something about Pentecost being the birthday of the Church and the Holy Spirit being a central focus of the event. Unity is a lovely concept, but I can’t just put the single word in my post and be done with it. However, when the Spirit prompts, it’s way easier to go with the flow than for me to try and write what I think I should write.

No matter how mindful or empathetic I try to be, it’s all too easy for me to judge situations that I feel infringed upon. I think our society is so skewed towards the rights of the individual that it has lost sight of being a society itself, that is a gathering or community of people. In our attempt to connect with others, we like and share content on social media platforms. Yet that is not true interaction; it’s not listening to another and learning about them and their perspectives. Some take advantage of not seeing others to freely criticize them, and may cross the line from opinion to verbal abuse. We use the right of free speech as a shield and excuse to say whatever we want. However, as Catholic Christians we are called to unity; not just with God but with each other.

The Apostles, with the exception of John, deserted Jesus during His passion and death. When He returned after His resurrection, He showered His peace on them; both forgiving them and reinforcing the bond among them all. There are many times when we fail to follow God’s plan or commandments, yet He calls us back to a relationship with Him in the sacrament of Reconciliation.  When we return to walking with God, we are in communion with Him and all others who are in communion with Him: past, present, and future. God gathers us up to Himself, not just as individuals, but also into a community of His creation. It is Satan that scatters, the one who does not want to see God’s desire for unity in His creation to succeed. Satan is our accuser, the one who points out our faults and makes us feel that we are not worthy to be with God. While the latter is true, we can never be worthy on our own merit, but through Jesus Christ we can have a relationship with God and a seat at the heavenly banquet. Here again we have a theme of community. How many times in the Bible does it reference heaven as a feast or meal? We have heard that God calls us to this fellowship, this unity with others. But here on earth we look inward towards our own desires. We acknowledge others only to complain when they impede what we want.

If we truly want to have a relationship with God, we cannot have a mindset that our relationships with other people have no impact on our relationship with God. If we want a better relationship with God, one way to do it is to start looking at how we treat the people around us: in our families, our workplaces, our church, and any other place we go. Do we see each as a person, created by God with a unique set of gifts and talents? Do we treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve as sons and daughters of God, regardless of their professed religion? We may not agree with their perspectives and may bristle at the way they treat us, but that does not give us permission to discard them as not worthy of our time, attention, and respect. 

Pentecost is not just the birthday of the Church, rather it is a call of unity to all creation. The Apostles spoke in various tongues to bring the message of Jesus to all those scattered by different languages. They preached Jesus risen as our savior. They called for those who would listen to them to repent and be baptized so that they could receive the Holy Spirit, which is the unifying love between God the Father and God the Son. Unity does, indeed, sum up Pentecost and the greatest gift of the Trinity. 

Mary at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle, Washington DC

A very human mother

Jesus gave his mother Mary to be our spiritual mother just before He died on the cross. However, I think it’s very easy to forget that Mary was a very human mother to Jesus. 

When Mary gave her consent to Gabriel to be the mother of the Savior, she was not just a mere host for a divine creature. Rather God was able to fertilize her egg so that Jesus would receive His human flesh from Mary. While the conception of Jesus had a supernatural component, God allowed the natural progression of human time to: form Jesus in Mary’s womb, have Mary give birth naturally to Jesus, have Mary and Joseph raise Jesus from a baby to a boy to a teenager until He became a man. Jesus was fully human (and fully divine), and experienced all the emotions a human being can. Mary was a witness to her Son’s humanity throughout His life, but most especially when He was a child. If Jesus fell carrying the cross, He certainly must have taken a tumble like all children do as they are learning to walk or during play with other children. And if these incidents resulted in skinned knees and bruises, Jesus probably cried a number of times, just as He would as an adult when He wept for His dead friend Lazarus. In the movie, The Passion of the Christ, there is one scene I remember when Jesus was washing up before a meal and playfully splashed His mother. While movies are afforded the ability to add scenes that may not be historically documented, I loved that this was included because it beautifully illustrated the bond between mother and Son and their shared humanity. While there may not be documentation for that incident, I’m sure there were plenty of that type while Jesus was growing up. 

While most of Jesus’ early years are undocumented in the Gospels, there is no doubt that Mary and Jesus shared an intense mother-son bond. While the best example of this is Mary at the foot of the cross, another example is at the wedding feast in Cana. It is at Mary’s prompting that Jesus performs His first public miracle. Reflections of this Gospel passage are mostly from a spiritual perspective, but what about from a purely human exchange? Mary knows Jesus and what He is capable of doing: working miracles. She does not ask Him to make more wine, rather she simply informs Him of the issue at hand: “They have no wine.” (John 2:3) Many commentaries have analyzed Jesus’ response, but since Jesus was at the beginning of His ministry, perhaps it was not yet time to have such a big public miracle, like the multiplication of the loaves and fishes. Yet Mary is keen to make sure that the wedding feast is not marred by the embarrassment of running out of wine. Perhaps her exchange with Jesus was a private conversation and only those in the most intimate circle of friends were aware. Mary does not know how Jesus will solve the issue, but directs the wait staff to follow Jesus’ directions, which end up sounding very ordinary until they are directed to draw some water and have the headwaiter taste it. In John’s Gospel, he conveys, “…and his disciples began to believe in Him.” (John 2:11). It seems as if only the disciples who accompanied Him at this point were aware of the miracle. The Gospel does not seem to indicate that anyone else from the wedding were aware of what happened; or maybe they were too busy enjoying the result of the miracle to comprehend what happened. 

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this coming weekend, let us remember the motherhood of Mary, in its very human aspects, for it is in the culmination of these human experiences that she becomes a spiritual mother to us all.

Ever present fear

It seems no matter how strong our faith is, fear is always present, waiting in the wings of our stage of life. Fear can be a good thing, as it makes us cautious and causes us to think before taking action. It can also be crippling and prevent the will of God in us. 

In reviewing the Mass readings for this past Sunday, I only got as far as the first line of the first reading in the Acts of the Apostles. I had to stop and read it several times over, almost marveling at what it conveyed. The books of the Bible convey the most important details of what is needed to deliver its message, but sometimes the smallest detail can slip by us and we miss the wisdom it brings. The reading is just after Saul is converted and, after spending time in Damascus, has returned to Jerusalem.  “…He tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing he was a disciple.” (Acts 9:26) From a logic perspective, that makes sense; Saul left Jerusalem with approval letters that would allow him to round up those following The Way, as it was first called, and to bring them back to the city in chains for judgment. He may have returned without prisoners, but did that really mean he converted? 

It is only after one of the disciples, Barnabas, takes the responsibility of bringing him to the community that Saul is able to tell of his conversion experience and he is then welcomed and allowed to support the evangelistic efforts. Barnabas was not one of the original twelve, but rather is identified earlier in Acts as selling a piece of land and laying the profits at the feet of the Apostles. Did the Holy Spirit only prompt Barnabas to take on the role of sponsor to Saul? Or was it fear in the Apostles that hampered the Spirit’s promptings? Earlier parts of Acts record the bravery of Peter speaking out and rejoicing when they are censured by the Sanhedrin. If they are happy to experience physical punishment for speaking about Jesus in the Temple, why were they so afraid of Saul? With all the miracles they witnessed Jesus perform, why did they find it hard to believe that Jesus could convert Saul? 

Further in the book of Acts, Saul becomes Paul and the main evangelizer of the Gentile, or non-Jewish, communities. I feel like I need to ask the question, what if Saul was not accepted into the community of the disciples? Would we have all the letters he wrote that makes up a portion of the New Testament? Would he have been able to preach to the Gentiles? Paul’s conversion and writings are key, even now within the evangelization efforts of the Church. I can’t picture how different the Church would be without his impact. What would have happened if fear also prevented Barnabas from taking action? 

Between what is written in the book of Acts as well as his letters, Paul did not have an easy time in his preaching. He was shipwrecked, stoned and left for dead, and had a number of other escapes to save his life. Was Paul fearful about his life on these occasions? Yet in his second letter to Timothy, Paul seems to know his end is near and calmly says he is “being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand.” (2 Tim. 4:6) Perhaps it is because of his difficult experiences that he is able to not to be afraid of death, but welcome it when it becomes imminent. 

Fear will be something that we will need to confront many times throughout our earthly life. Let us pray for open hearts to the Spirit’s promptings during these times, or for us to have a person like Barnabas to take charge and help us through our fear so that God’s will can be accomplished.