Catholic Girl Journey

Goals

We all have goals; often several levels of achievement. Some may be to map our success for our career. Others can be more like a “bucket list” of places we want to go or activities we want to try. But do we have a goal for our faith?

“Although you have never seen him, you love him, and without seeing you now believe in him, and with glory because you are achieving faith’s goal, your salvation.” (1 Peter 1:8-9). This passage struck me when I read it prior to Mass last Sunday. I think because I always considered my faith a journey and the goal as heaven; I realize will not reach my goal until after my death. In my simple mind, I think of it as rather like a piggy bank, a good deed is like a quarter that goes into the bank. We don’t see the money, but we know it’s there. When the bank is filled (i.e. we die), we will be able to count out how much faith we had during our lifetime.

But Peter’s letter describes it as something active with an almost tangible quality. Rather than something far away, our salvation can be experienced in the here and now. Loving the Triune God and believing in Jesus’ Passion, Death and Resurrection makes us think and act differently. In being compassionate towards our neighbors and family, we bring a little bit of heaven to earth. In those moments when we experience the true peace and  joy of self-giving, perhaps that’s when we are experiencing a taste of heaven. While we would like to savor those moments and make them last as long as possible, they are just a foretaste of what is to come.

So with hope and trust that God will grant us eternal heaven someday, let’s begin to anticipate that wonderful time by bringing a bit of heavenly love to all we encounter, by refining our thinking and by giving praise and thanksgiving to God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. After all, our earthly goals once achieved may be forgotten, but the salvation of our soul will  continue beyond our body’s journey on this planet.  

Catholic Girl Journey

Empty and full

On Good Friday, the church is filled with people who come to commemorate the Passion and Death of Jesus. The tabernacle door is open wide and it is empty. The sanctuary candle next to it: extinguished. The familiar visible signs of the presence of God are absent.

We read the Passion from John’s Gospel. The leaders of the Jewish community are filled with hate for Jesus. Full of pride for their position as respected officials, these learned men seek the utter destruction of Jesus. The Roman soldiers are filled with violence, finding and outlet in the abuse of Jesus; mocking him as the King of the insignificant local community. Jesus empties Himself completely, not just by dying on the cross, but in the spilling of the precious Blood and water which flowed from His side. In a surprising fullness of courage, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus claim Jesus’ body and where it fills the void of the tomb that awaited a body.

The tomb could not hold Jesus. He would rise and leave it empty for his disciples to find. The tabernacle cannot stay empty for long, as the Easter Vigil Mass fills it with the newly consecrated hosts. The church is filled with Easter decor of flowers and incense as she welcomes new members to God’s flock. And the song of Alleluia fills the building and echoes off the walls.

The starkness of the Good Friday liturgy heightens our awareness of the Eucharistic presence of God. In the emptiness and fullness it exemplifies the destruction of sin in our lives when we choose our will over God’s will for us. The fullness of Easter fills the empty places, even that of the tomb, with joy of God’s presence among us. The light of Jesus’ example is not merely like that of a candle, but rather like that of the sun on a cloudless day. It reminds us that even if we have to suffer to do God’s will, we can rejoice because Jesus rose from the dead and in the fullness of time, He will come to take us home to heaven with Him.

Catholic Girl Journey

Believe

“Let’s see him come down from that cross and then we will believe in him.” (Mt 27: 42) Why do we challenge God to make us believe in Him? Would those who hurled that comment to Jesus really believe if He did come down?

“Presently, Simon Peter came along behind him and entered the tomb. He observed the wrappings on the ground and saw the piece of cloth which had covered the head not lying with the wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the disciple who had arrived first at the tomb went in. He saw and believed.” (Jn 20:6-8) John did not see Jesus, but he believed. He did not need to see a body alive and functioning to believe, rather it was knowing Jesus during His ministry, being in a close relationship with Him, that allowed John to believe after seeing the remains of the wrappings.

So how do you determine your belief in Jesus as the Son of God? As Bishop Robert Barron puts it, we need to decide for ourselves.  Is Jesus a liar, a lunatic or the Son of God? Logic can only take you so far. Do we, like John, journey with Jesus and see the miracles and hear the kingdom of God proclaimed? Do we get to know Him so that we recognize Him in the details, like the way Jesus left  the head covering cloth rolled up to the side? Are we open to allowing Him to prove He is God on His terms rather than ours?

To acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God is to open ourselves to change. We each have our own faith journey to make, with lots of bumps and rugged terrain along with way. A mustard seed of belief in Jesus is step one towards the heavenly destination. God never forces a belief in Him or for us to change more than we can. The more we believe in Him, the more we are open to His way, the more we are not merely changed, but transformed. Along the way we may find ourselves questioning why from time to time.  The answer is simple: because I believe.

Catholic Girl Journey

Cheers to jeers

They cheered His entry into Jerusalem like He was a king, paving the road with palm branches. Days later they jeered at Him as He was brought before them by the secular government. They requested his execution and mocked Him as He hung on the cross.

Sunday begins the most holy week of the year with Palm Sunday. This is one of hardest liturgies for me, second only to Good Friday. Going from the ultimate high of praise to the lowest of disgust in less than an hour is hard to wrap my brain around. And then to read the part of the crowd in the gospel and having to say those horrid words: “Crucify Him!” It is very easy in 2017 to say that we wouldn’t be like the people in that crowd who changed their minds and attitudes so quickly. But in reality, the worst part, is that I do that on a daily basis.  

It’s not nearly as dramatic as the gospel readings, but when you think about it, every prayer that’s praising God, is like the triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Every time we choose our own way and say ‘no’ to God, we call for His crucifixion. The Glory Be is one of my favorite prayers and I often say it, especially when things are going well. But I am human, and for as many times as I try to do what’s right and what God wants of me, there’s at least an equal number of times that I fall short of that.

It often seems that temptations surround me during holy week. Perhaps I am paying more attention to my thoughts, words and actions after participating in the Palm Sunday gospel. Maybe it’s that I’m trying more because I want to celebrate Easter with as clean of a soul as I can. I do take comfort in the words of Jesus in Luke’s account of the passion: “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk: 23:34). As in all things, the more you put your time/effort/energy into it, the more you will receive.

May you be blessed with His grace as you journey with Jesus through the triumphant entry and along the way of the cross this holy week.

Catholic Girl Journey

Ocean of mercy

If I am going to drown, let it be in the ocean of God’s mercy.

During a recent cruise vacation along the California coast, I spent time looking out at the seemingly endless Pacific ocean. The “peaceful ocean” was living up to its name, with gentle ripples at the surface. God’s mercy is often described as an ocean, and I began to ponder the connection.

Gazing across the horizon, the ocean appears to touch the sky in the far distance. Without land to interrupt the connection, the ocean appears to meet the heavens, the seat of God’s throne. The slightly undulating waves were mesmerizing; calling out their welcome. God does reach down to earth with His mercy in many ways, including the Church and her sacraments being the active ministry of Jesus. As a demonstration of His mercy, He welcomes sinners into His home and invites them to forgiveness in reconciliation and to partake of His Holy Body and Blood.

If each sin I committed had to be washed away by a drop from that ocean, would there be enough ocean? I know the ocean is deep and wide and the thought of it not being enough is hard to comprehend. Or is it too boastful to say that God’s mercy is more generous than I am sinful? What would it be like to be washed clean in that ocean? Would I gently float along the top of the water, or would I be completely immersed? Perhaps it depends on how much we want God’s mercy

It will never be too cold or too rough. It will never takes us against our will. His ocean of mercy is always waiting to welcome us. It is up to us to reach out and ask for it; to dive in and be cleansed; to surrender our will to His will.   

Catholic Girl Journey

Possibilities

He turned water into wine. He healed the sick, the lame and the possessed. He rose from the dead. But the God who made it possible, predates His time on earth.

He felled the walls of Jericho, He made water spring from a rock and, through Moses, he parted the sea. These seemingly impossible achievements are overshadowed by the wonders that God works through humanity, especially when we believe in the God of possibilities. Abram trusted God when He told him he would father a great nation. Sarai even laughed at the thought of producing a child. At the end of Abraham’s life, he was a father to only two children, one of which was from his wife’s slave. He may not have seen the fulfillment of the promise, but he still believed that God could, and would, keep his promise.

.Jesus’ life on earth began with the proclamation by the angel, “for nothing is impossible with God.” (Lk 1:37) He touched many lives while He was among us; some people we know by name like the apostles, others by how they were healed. He changed their lives and they let Him do it. They, in turn, spread the news of Jesus and His message; and those who received it, continued to spread it as well. In their trust of God’s abilities, they became part of the “possibilities becoming reality.”

Jesus said, “for God all things are possible.” (Matt 19:26). Why is that so easy to doubt? Could it be that our impatience comes from wanting the possibilities now instead of being part of God’s plan unfolding over the course of time? Even if we don’t see the possibilities in our lifetime, God will not be stingy with His blessings. Perhaps we may find even greater blessings by trusting in God that what we thought was impossible, will eventually become reality.

Catholic Girl Journey

Just pray

Is it My Will or God’s Will?

Prayer, the personal conversation we have with God, is one of the principal actions in a faith journey. Through it we begin to open our hearts to Him and learn how to listen. Praying takes many forms: private or group, saying the rosary or a chaplet, following the way of the cross or reciting a litany; even Mass is a prayer.

As I have traveled my faith journey path, I’ve started to become more sensitive as to why I am praying and for what I am praying.  Generally, prayer has four aspects: adoration, contrition, petition and thanksgiving.

Some prayers of petition are straightforward. For example, my nephew’s wife is expecting their first child in July, so I’m praying for a safe delivery for the baby. But when praying for someone who has an illness, is the intention that they get well (my will), or that God give them strength as they battle the malady (God’s will)? This apparent conflict often occurs when I am praying for something specific for myself. Even when I think that I am praying for something God wants to give me, when it doesn’t occur in my timetable I start to question if I am seeking His will. Or am I asking for my will to be part of His plan?

Jesus used the parable of the widow and the corrupt judge to encourage perseverance in prayer (Luke 18:1-8). As we grow in faith and seek to do God’s will, it can be difficult to have a clear intention during prayer. “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him,” Jesus tell us. (Matt 6:8). So does that mean I don’t need to pray? No. It means that He will grant me those blessings that will help me do His will at the time I need them. It means that saying, “Lord, I’m not sure what to pray for, but I want to do you will,” is a valid petition. It means sometimes we just need to pray.  

Catholic Girl Journey

What’s new?

When I meet up with folks I haven’t seen in awhile, I often ask them “What’s new?” For me it is a way to avoid a one word answer to the “How are you?” question.

Recently I had the odd thought of asking God, “What’s new?” The logic part of my brain told me I was silly, as He is never-ending and outside of time and space. But my imagination took hold of that question and I started pondering what possible things God could tell me of what was new for that day. He could start by telling me all the new children He created, or how many babies were born that day. He could tell me how many souls He welcomed into heaven. He could tell me how many children were called to be His special children by baptism.

Perhaps He would excitedly share the number of new inventions that were discovered. Maybe it would be the number of medical breakthroughs that were identified, or maybe the number of lives that were saved through the the talent and skills of the doctors, nurses, and other healthcare staff as well as those by mechanical devices.

He could talk about what was created in nature: all the trees, shrubs, flowers, fruit, animals, birds, fish, reptiles, and insects. I would guess that the number of creatures would be much more than the number of humans. God keeps His hands in all of creation, yet humanity is still closest to His heart.

Or maybe what’s new is outside of our Earth: new stars, new planets, new galaxies. After all, God truly is the Master of the universe and is forever the Creator of all. Just because we don’t see it or may not be able to measure it doesn’t mean that there are not new formations outside of our reach.

Towards the end of the book of Revelation, “The One who sat on the throne said to me, ‘See, I make all things new!’” (Rev 21: 5) How awesome to have a God that never stops creating!

Catholic Girl Journey

Beloved dust

He’s making diamonds out of dust
Making diamonds out of us
— “Diamonds” by Hawk Nelson

Every Ash Wednesday we are told that we are dust and we shall return to dust. It is a stark reminder that we are all sinners and what we will have to pay, at least for a time, for our sins. Our souls will be separated from our bodies; and while our souls wait for the end of time, our human remains return to dust.

I do enjoy the song “Diamonds” by Hawk Nelson and the message seems rather appropriate for Lent. We can look at this season as a time to eat fish on Fridays and not to eat in between meals, or we can look at it as an opportunity for God to transform us. If our bodies are dust, then I hope my soul will become like a diamond for God: shining in His glory, reflecting His rays of grace and mercy and transforming His light into the various colors of the rainbow.

Diamonds are formed by heat and pressure. Lent gives us the opportunity to apply some pressure to ourselves. For some, this pressure it just remembering what day it is and when we need to fast and abstain from meat. For others it means taking on additional challenges like reading the scriptures or going to daily Mass. In the beginning we welcome the challenge. But the six or so weeks of Lent can seem to drag on. We end up looking forward to Easter, not so much as to celebrate our risen Lord, but as a relief from our extra efforts. However, if we can remember that little by little our soul is being made into a beautiful jewel, perhaps we can welcome the heat and pressure of our Lenten activities.  

Catholic Girl Journey

Unrest in the soul

We all have our ups and downs. We all struggle with concerns on many fronts. We all make choices. Even with prayer, some are easier to make than others.

I’m currently weighed down by a decision to continue with a friendship. I feel like I have been scarred by our last meeting during the Christmas season. My friend displayed not many signs of friendship: she came to my house sick with sinus issues and monopolized the conversation by complaining about her life and how difficult it was. A few days later I came down with a sinus infection that took two rounds of antibiotics to kick. The meeting left me feeling anything but happy to see her, and that I was a terrible person and friend to think so. But this was not the only time I’ve felt this way. Even before she came, I felt I needed to put on some emotional “body armor” as I expected her sharp comments. She’s a very decisive person, and it often seems that once she comes to a decision, if you don’t share the same decision then you’re just stupid.

We only meet up a few times a year. Since I don’t believe in coincidence, I feel that God put her in my life for a reason. She is not a person of faith at all and tolerates if I talk about my faith. Am I to be a light to her? She is struggling with a number of diseases that has left her in discomfort or, at times, pain. Am I to be a source of companionship during her struggle? A family situation is rather trying to her and she looks to get out of the house to take a break from it. Am I to be a refuge for that occasional relief?

This past Sunday’s readings spoke of loving one’s neighbor. I don’t believe I harbor a grudge against her and her actions. I think partly it’s that I’m disappointed that rather than celebrating getting together or declining to meet due to the sinus issue, she came and sucked all the joy out of me while sharing her sickness. I want to be sympathetic, I do pray daily for her. She emailed last week about setting up our next meeting. It was a rough week at work and, still feeling hurt from the last time, I deleted it. But she is persistent and I know she’ll email again; I will need to answer. Will I be able to get past the hurt, accept her for who she is (sharp comments and all) and strive to love her as God does? I know I can lean on God for strength to get me through and make the right decision. Rather than worry and stress over it, I know I need to leave it in His hands. Sometimes, it’s easier said than done.