child of God

Catholic Girl Journey

God versus job

Success, what does it look like? There are many “helpful” articles, blogs, books, videos and companies that will tell you that in order to be successful, you need to make progress. You need to move ahead from where you are right now. With this expectation in my head, it seems that the job front is the hardest place to let in God.

I am restless with my current situation, but feel blessed that I have a job that pays the bills. Each time I wonder if I should be looking for a new position, it seems that the answer is for me to prepare. It’s not a total ‘no’ but it’s not a full ‘yes’ either. I’ve been casually looking at job postings for several months and am having difficulty wrapping my head around the search process. The first question I ask is, “what do I want to do?” But is that the right question to ask if I want God to be involved of this aspect of my life? I do not have aspirations of becoming a CEO, rather, I want to do a good job for a company that I believe in and in an field that I enjoy. I’ve been with my current company for over 15 years, , and don’t want to leave just to make a change. I want it to be the right change. So how can I let God into this area of my life? I can pray for guidance, but is that it? Is there a way to really invite God into the search process to walk with me and help me to identify which positions I should consider,perhaps the ones that He would like me to apply for, but I might just pass over?

Next to the job search itself, the resume and cover letter are the next items which seem to lack the inclusion of God. After all these documents are supposed to answer the question, “who am I?” First and foremost, I am a child of God. That is not something that goes over well on a resume. Companies want me to list the jobs that I’ve had, and I understand they want me to prove to them I can do the job for which I’m applying. But I do not define myself that way. My qualifications go beyond tasks I’ve previously completed; they include the Catholic values I bring to my work. I’m not looking for a stepping stone to someplace better, rather I’d like my work to more than fill the void they posted.

Once in the workplace, my true Catholic self does show in my actions. So how can those actions lead me in the job search? Perhaps the time is not quite right to make a change. But like all things involving faith, I need to be prepared. Understanding the positions that are open now and updating my resume are two ways to get myself ready. I trust God to guide me to the right place.

Catholic Girl Journey

Truth

Truth has green eyes. At least in my world she does. I just adopted a little orange tabby with a big name: Vera, which is derived from the Latin Veritas meaning ‘truth.’ There was one thing she did that really reminded me of what God, who is Truth itself, does in our relationship with Him.

Before bringing Vera home, I made space for her and did a good cleaning so that it would be a safe place  for her. Cats being such curious creatures, I tried to put as much away as possible, but in a one-bedroom condo, there is a limit to what can be shut away behind a door. There was one space that I neglected: under the bed. It seems that whenever I try to add something under there, there are so many boxes and pieces of luggage, that nothing else could possibly fit. I was confident it was not a place she could explore. I was wrong. She picked the dirtiest, darkest place and made herself comfortable. I bought her cat toys and a “tree” (a carpeted contraption with a sleeping place at the top):  I made space for her to run around and play. The first few days her comfort place was on a chair under the dining table. That I could understand. But under the bed? Why?

I may not understand cat philosophy, but I think she imitated Truth Himself by going to the place that I did not want to go. Maneuvering the mattress and boxspring by myself can be difficult. I had to face dust and wrangle the vacuum around the bed supports. It’s not something that I want to repeat on any regular basis, but I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything that could harm Vera. God doesn’t want any harm to come to us, so He gets comfortable in the dirtiest, darkest places that we would like to ignore. His cleaning style is to shine light into  the darkness. It may seem like a dim light at first with all the stuff that’s buried there, and we will face dusty irritants. God is patient with us as we sift through the boxes remove  items that we had been clinging to  thinking we might need  them someday.

When I was finished with my cleaning, I did feel a sort of peace that I had done the best I could for Vera. And if we allow God to shine His light into the dirtiest, darkest places of our hearts and souls to help us clean it up, our peace and joy will be without measure, for we will truly be living as children of His light.

Catholic Girl Journey

A single drop

Baptism is an amazing sacrament in the Catholic Church. Through it, we welcome the baptized into the family of God and mark the beginning of their faith journey.

I recently attended Mass at my Mom’s parish which included an infant baptism.  The priest reminded the congregation that some Christians do not believe in infant baptism, reasoning that the child should be able to choose their own faith.  However, we as Catholics believe that baptism is the “birth” of a person as a child of God. Just as we don’t get to pick the family into which we are born, the same can be said of our faith. In baptizing an infant child, the parents and godparents agree to instruct the child in the faith, to help keep the light of Christ burning within the child as they grow.

As I watched the priest pouring water over the baby’s head, I recalled a comment I once heard: “I don’t believe that trickle of water can do anything. You need to be plunged into the water.” At the time, I had no idea how to respond to a comment like that, but it stayed with me. After all, the Greek definition of baptism is to “plunge” or “immerse.” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how limiting it was to believe that God could not wash away original sin and welcome a child into his family with that “trickle” of water. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “from ancient times it has [also] been able to be conferred by pouring the water three times over the candidate’s head” (CCC 1239).  I would like to think that a single drop of water for each member of the Trinity, along with a serious intention of baptism, would be enough for a miracle worker like God.

I do enjoy being able to participate as a witness when a baptism occurs during Mass. Not only do we get the opportunity to meet a new member of God’s family, but we also get to share the joy of that special moment. It’s a reminder that we too were baptized into the faith and to ponder how we have nurtured that faith in ourselves and those around us.

Catholic Girl Journey

Finding yourself

Who are you? How do you describe yourself in relation to others?

“Who do you think you are?” is the TLC show that features a celebrity researching their ancestors. They may start out in another country and trace the travels of a particular generation. They find out about the marriages, births and deaths from church and government documents. They get a glimpse of life in previous centuries with land deeds, wills and marriage contracts. After watching a few episodes, I found it interesting how much learning about the people in one’s past affected the seekers. In one instance, it was disappointing to find out that a pattern of father leaving his family occurred over several generations. Another was amazed with all the experiences and trials that his ancestors had gone through. It was evident that finding the details of the people’s lives touched them at a personal level.

In watching the effect the knowledge had on the seekers, I found a similarity of seeking out the bits of information to try to paint the picture of the ancestors’ lives, to that of learning about Jesus. If learning about the people in previous generations can touch a person’s heart, how much more can learning about Jesus change our lives? While the Gospels are not a daily diary of Jesus actions, they paint a much bigger picture of Jesus’ life and about the lives of the people He touched. No matter how often I read the same scripture passage, often I see a different perspective that leads me to a deeper relationship with Him. They are more than just a catalog of where he was or what he said in a government inquiry, they convey His teaching of God and how we can have a relationship with Him.

I just don’t think, I know I am a child of God. And there is no limit to what you can learn when you continually seek Him.

Hide me, Jesus

Within your wounds hide me. It’s a powerful phrase from the Anima Christi prayer. I never gave it much thought until I found myself saying that line as a prayer itself.

I fully admit that I am not perfect and need the sacrament of confession just as much as any other person. When I think about the wounds that Jesus suffered, I think about how my thoughts/words/actions or lack thereof, were a cause to those injuries. Jesus took on all sin (past, present and future) during his passion and death. So how can I, who helped cause those injuries, now ask to be hidden in them?

The wounds of Jesus do not go away after the resurrection, otherwise Thomas would not have been able to probe them. But somehow those wounds cease to be of pain because Jesus transformed them in His resurrection. He has taken His broken body and made it beautiful in His divinity.

Asking Jesus to hide me in His transformed wounds is asking Him to take my own broken sinfulness and transform it into something beautiful, to use it for God’s will. Often I get stuck in wanting to overcome and perfect myself for God; I forget I need His help. And sometimes His help is to allow me to make the wrong decision so that I can learn from it. Frustration often surfaces when I don’t seem to be improving. But even Jesus fell three times while carrying His cross, so how can I expect to perfect myself after just one fall?

Hiding in Jesus’ wounds means that I need to be very, very close to Him. One way of doing that is to let Him come into the less than perfect parts of me. He knows who I am and what my struggles are. He struggled and suffered as a man and I know He wants to help me in my struggles. What an amazing opportunity I have to get closer to Jesus by allowing Him to help me when I really need it.

Catholic Girl Journey

Daughter of God

If someone were to ask me to describe myself, one of the first descriptors I would use is: daughter of God. It may be a bold statement, but for me, it reminds me of my direction and purpose in life.

Every morning I ask Mary to help me to be a better daughter to God. While Mary may be better known as the mother of Jesus or the Blessed Mother, she is first the best example of a daughter of God. When God called her to be the mother of the Messiah, her humble response of “May it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38) is what I aspire to say to God. Every day Mary lived as a daughter of God, seeking His will to be done through her. Every day I, too, have multiple opportunities to allow God’s will to be done through me. It’s a choice that sometimes can be hard to make, and I’m not always successful. Every day I ask Mary to help me, pray for me and guide me to “Do whatever he tells you” (John 2:5).

Praying the rosary allows me to walk the faith journey with Mary. I recall the special moments of Mary and Jesus in each of the Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful and Glorious mysteries. How, for each of them, they allowed God to direct them so that His will was done. I am humbled to repeat in prayer the words of Jesus in the Our Father as well as the words of the angel Gabriel and Elizabeth in the Hail Mary. Praying with Mary leads me to God and cultivates an attitude of possibilities for what God wants of me.

The first time I went to the adoration chapel, where the Holy Eucharist is exposed for prayer, was on the feast of the Immaculate Conception. I only managed to stay 15 minutes, as I didn’t know what to do there. But it was a start, and Mary lead the way and helped me develop the devotion to spend an hour each week in the presence of her Son.

We are all God’s children, and while we might know that at a high level, do we really consider ourselves daughters and sons of God? How would that change our relationship with God? God has made me, I am His child and I am here for a reason. It’s His love and mercy that wills every breath that I take. He has blessed me with this life and I look to Him as a Father. There have been a few times that I have heard others call Him “Father God” and it always makes me stop and ponder what an amazing relationship they have with God. It makes me smile too, since it reminds me that I am a daughter of God.