Catholic Girl Journey

God versus job

Success, what does it look like? There are many “helpful” articles, blogs, books, videos and companies that will tell you that in order to be successful, you need to make progress. You need to move ahead from where you are right now. With this expectation in my head, it seems that the job front is the hardest place to let in God.

I am restless with my current situation, but feel blessed that I have a job that pays the bills. Each time I wonder if I should be looking for a new position, it seems that the answer is for me to prepare. It’s not a total ‘no’ but it’s not a full ‘yes’ either. I’ve been casually looking at job postings for several months and am having difficulty wrapping my head around the search process. The first question I ask is, “what do I want to do?” But is that the right question to ask if I want God to be involved of this aspect of my life? I do not have aspirations of becoming a CEO, rather, I want to do a good job for a company that I believe in and in an field that I enjoy. I’ve been with my current company for over 15 years, , and don’t want to leave just to make a change. I want it to be the right change. So how can I let God into this area of my life? I can pray for guidance, but is that it? Is there a way to really invite God into the search process to walk with me and help me to identify which positions I should consider,perhaps the ones that He would like me to apply for, but I might just pass over?

Next to the job search itself, the resume and cover letter are the next items which seem to lack the inclusion of God. After all these documents are supposed to answer the question, “who am I?” First and foremost, I am a child of God. That is not something that goes over well on a resume. Companies want me to list the jobs that I’ve had, and I understand they want me to prove to them I can do the job for which I’m applying. But I do not define myself that way. My qualifications go beyond tasks I’ve previously completed; they include the Catholic values I bring to my work. I’m not looking for a stepping stone to someplace better, rather I’d like my work to more than fill the void they posted.

Once in the workplace, my true Catholic self does show in my actions. So how can those actions lead me in the job search? Perhaps the time is not quite right to make a change. But like all things involving faith, I need to be prepared. Understanding the positions that are open now and updating my resume are two ways to get myself ready. I trust God to guide me to the right place.

Catholic Girl Journey

Pondering the mystery

I’ve always been fascinated by mystery stories. Growing up I read Trixie Belden and Encyclopedia Brown.  I enjoyed trying to figure out what happened as the story unfolded. As an adult, it seems my search for mystery stories leads mostly to murder mysteries.  While  I’m not fond of reading about a character’s demise, the who-done-it clues from the story do get my mind thinking.

It seems that people like mystery stories of many kinds because there are numerous subcategories in the genre. But with all the creative and varied stories that are out there, are we missing the chance to ponder the greatest of all mysteries: God? While we can enter into a personal relationship with Him, that doesn’t mean we know or understand Him completely. For example, take the Trinity; we can do our best to explain it in human terms, but what is it really and how can it be? Have we ever thought about how a simple petition we make is received by the Trinity? We may pray to any one person in the Trinity, but since all are one, do they need to consult one another?

If the topic of the three persons in one God is too overwhelming, how about pondering something more down to earth: Jesus; specifically His incarnation, death and resurrection. It’s very easy to say that since He is God, that’s how He was able to become man, suffer, die and rise again. But if we chalk it all up to His divine nature, are we missing the opportunity to go deeper into His humanity? In my simple brain, I wonder what He was thinking while His body was developing in Mary’s womb; did he know as each organ and body part was being formed? As a child, did He have to be taught how to read and write, or did His divine nature allow Him to bypass those little adventures? And as for His resurrection, how did he know when it was time to rise from the dead?  After all there is no time and space when we die, right? These may seem like trivial questions, but they are human questions — mysteries to consider.

Do we shy away from pondering the mysteries of God because it’s too overwhelming, or is it that we, as humans, will not be able to solve them in this lifetime?

 

Catholic Girl Journey

Truth

Truth has green eyes. At least in my world she does. I just adopted a little orange tabby with a big name: Vera, which is derived from the Latin Veritas meaning ‘truth.’ There was one thing she did that really reminded me of what God, who is Truth itself, does in our relationship with Him.

Before bringing Vera home, I made space for her and did a good cleaning so that it would be a safe place  for her. Cats being such curious creatures, I tried to put as much away as possible, but in a one-bedroom condo, there is a limit to what can be shut away behind a door. There was one space that I neglected: under the bed. It seems that whenever I try to add something under there, there are so many boxes and pieces of luggage, that nothing else could possibly fit. I was confident it was not a place she could explore. I was wrong. She picked the dirtiest, darkest place and made herself comfortable. I bought her cat toys and a “tree” (a carpeted contraption with a sleeping place at the top):  I made space for her to run around and play. The first few days her comfort place was on a chair under the dining table. That I could understand. But under the bed? Why?

I may not understand cat philosophy, but I think she imitated Truth Himself by going to the place that I did not want to go. Maneuvering the mattress and boxspring by myself can be difficult. I had to face dust and wrangle the vacuum around the bed supports. It’s not something that I want to repeat on any regular basis, but I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything that could harm Vera. God doesn’t want any harm to come to us, so He gets comfortable in the dirtiest, darkest places that we would like to ignore. His cleaning style is to shine light into  the darkness. It may seem like a dim light at first with all the stuff that’s buried there, and we will face dusty irritants. God is patient with us as we sift through the boxes remove  items that we had been clinging to  thinking we might need  them someday.

When I was finished with my cleaning, I did feel a sort of peace that I had done the best I could for Vera. And if we allow God to shine His light into the dirtiest, darkest places of our hearts and souls to help us clean it up, our peace and joy will be without measure, for we will truly be living as children of His light.

Catholic Girl Journey

Goals

We all have goals; often several levels of achievement. Some may be to map our success for our career. Others can be more like a “bucket list” of places we want to go or activities we want to try. But do we have a goal for our faith?

“Although you have never seen him, you love him, and without seeing you now believe in him, and with glory because you are achieving faith’s goal, your salvation.” (1 Peter 1:8-9). This passage struck me when I read it prior to Mass last Sunday. I think because I always considered my faith a journey and the goal as heaven; I realize will not reach my goal until after my death. In my simple mind, I think of it as rather like a piggy bank, a good deed is like a quarter that goes into the bank. We don’t see the money, but we know it’s there. When the bank is filled (i.e. we die), we will be able to count out how much faith we had during our lifetime.

But Peter’s letter describes it as something active with an almost tangible quality. Rather than something far away, our salvation can be experienced in the here and now. Loving the Triune God and believing in Jesus’ Passion, Death and Resurrection makes us think and act differently. In being compassionate towards our neighbors and family, we bring a little bit of heaven to earth. In those moments when we experience the true peace and  joy of self-giving, perhaps that’s when we are experiencing a taste of heaven. While we would like to savor those moments and make them last as long as possible, they are just a foretaste of what is to come.

So with hope and trust that God will grant us eternal heaven someday, let’s begin to anticipate that wonderful time by bringing a bit of heavenly love to all we encounter, by refining our thinking and by giving praise and thanksgiving to God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. After all, our earthly goals once achieved may be forgotten, but the salvation of our soul will  continue beyond our body’s journey on this planet.  

Catholic Girl Journey

Empty and full

On Good Friday, the church is filled with people who come to commemorate the Passion and Death of Jesus. The tabernacle door is open wide and it is empty. The sanctuary candle next to it: extinguished. The familiar visible signs of the presence of God are absent.

We read the Passion from John’s Gospel. The leaders of the Jewish community are filled with hate for Jesus. Full of pride for their position as respected officials, these learned men seek the utter destruction of Jesus. The Roman soldiers are filled with violence, finding and outlet in the abuse of Jesus; mocking him as the King of the insignificant local community. Jesus empties Himself completely, not just by dying on the cross, but in the spilling of the precious Blood and water which flowed from His side. In a surprising fullness of courage, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus claim Jesus’ body and where it fills the void of the tomb that awaited a body.

The tomb could not hold Jesus. He would rise and leave it empty for his disciples to find. The tabernacle cannot stay empty for long, as the Easter Vigil Mass fills it with the newly consecrated hosts. The church is filled with Easter decor of flowers and incense as she welcomes new members to God’s flock. And the song of Alleluia fills the building and echoes off the walls.

The starkness of the Good Friday liturgy heightens our awareness of the Eucharistic presence of God. In the emptiness and fullness it exemplifies the destruction of sin in our lives when we choose our will over God’s will for us. The fullness of Easter fills the empty places, even that of the tomb, with joy of God’s presence among us. The light of Jesus’ example is not merely like that of a candle, but rather like that of the sun on a cloudless day. It reminds us that even if we have to suffer to do God’s will, we can rejoice because Jesus rose from the dead and in the fullness of time, He will come to take us home to heaven with Him.

Catholic Girl Journey

Believe

“Let’s see him come down from that cross and then we will believe in him.” (Mt 27: 42) Why do we challenge God to make us believe in Him? Would those who hurled that comment to Jesus really believe if He did come down?

“Presently, Simon Peter came along behind him and entered the tomb. He observed the wrappings on the ground and saw the piece of cloth which had covered the head not lying with the wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the disciple who had arrived first at the tomb went in. He saw and believed.” (Jn 20:6-8) John did not see Jesus, but he believed. He did not need to see a body alive and functioning to believe, rather it was knowing Jesus during His ministry, being in a close relationship with Him, that allowed John to believe after seeing the remains of the wrappings.

So how do you determine your belief in Jesus as the Son of God? As Bishop Robert Barron puts it, we need to decide for ourselves.  Is Jesus a liar, a lunatic or the Son of God? Logic can only take you so far. Do we, like John, journey with Jesus and see the miracles and hear the kingdom of God proclaimed? Do we get to know Him so that we recognize Him in the details, like the way Jesus left  the head covering cloth rolled up to the side? Are we open to allowing Him to prove He is God on His terms rather than ours?

To acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God is to open ourselves to change. We each have our own faith journey to make, with lots of bumps and rugged terrain along with way. A mustard seed of belief in Jesus is step one towards the heavenly destination. God never forces a belief in Him or for us to change more than we can. The more we believe in Him, the more we are open to His way, the more we are not merely changed, but transformed. Along the way we may find ourselves questioning why from time to time.  The answer is simple: because I believe.

Catholic Girl Journey

Cheers to jeers

They cheered His entry into Jerusalem like He was a king, paving the road with palm branches. Days later they jeered at Him as He was brought before them by the secular government. They requested his execution and mocked Him as He hung on the cross.

Sunday begins the most holy week of the year with Palm Sunday. This is one of hardest liturgies for me, second only to Good Friday. Going from the ultimate high of praise to the lowest of disgust in less than an hour is hard to wrap my brain around. And then to read the part of the crowd in the gospel and having to say those horrid words: “Crucify Him!” It is very easy in 2017 to say that we wouldn’t be like the people in that crowd who changed their minds and attitudes so quickly. But in reality, the worst part, is that I do that on a daily basis.  

It’s not nearly as dramatic as the gospel readings, but when you think about it, every prayer that’s praising God, is like the triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Every time we choose our own way and say ‘no’ to God, we call for His crucifixion. The Glory Be is one of my favorite prayers and I often say it, especially when things are going well. But I am human, and for as many times as I try to do what’s right and what God wants of me, there’s at least an equal number of times that I fall short of that.

It often seems that temptations surround me during holy week. Perhaps I am paying more attention to my thoughts, words and actions after participating in the Palm Sunday gospel. Maybe it’s that I’m trying more because I want to celebrate Easter with as clean of a soul as I can. I do take comfort in the words of Jesus in Luke’s account of the passion: “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk: 23:34). As in all things, the more you put your time/effort/energy into it, the more you will receive.

May you be blessed with His grace as you journey with Jesus through the triumphant entry and along the way of the cross this holy week.

Catholic Girl Journey

Ocean of mercy

If I am going to drown, let it be in the ocean of God’s mercy.

During a recent cruise vacation along the California coast, I spent time looking out at the seemingly endless Pacific ocean. The “peaceful ocean” was living up to its name, with gentle ripples at the surface. God’s mercy is often described as an ocean, and I began to ponder the connection.

Gazing across the horizon, the ocean appears to touch the sky in the far distance. Without land to interrupt the connection, the ocean appears to meet the heavens, the seat of God’s throne. The slightly undulating waves were mesmerizing; calling out their welcome. God does reach down to earth with His mercy in many ways, including the Church and her sacraments being the active ministry of Jesus. As a demonstration of His mercy, He welcomes sinners into His home and invites them to forgiveness in reconciliation and to partake of His Holy Body and Blood.

If each sin I committed had to be washed away by a drop from that ocean, would there be enough ocean? I know the ocean is deep and wide and the thought of it not being enough is hard to comprehend. Or is it too boastful to say that God’s mercy is more generous than I am sinful? What would it be like to be washed clean in that ocean? Would I gently float along the top of the water, or would I be completely immersed? Perhaps it depends on how much we want God’s mercy

It will never be too cold or too rough. It will never takes us against our will. His ocean of mercy is always waiting to welcome us. It is up to us to reach out and ask for it; to dive in and be cleansed; to surrender our will to His will.   

Catholic Girl Journey

Possibilities

He turned water into wine. He healed the sick, the lame and the possessed. He rose from the dead. But the God who made it possible, predates His time on earth.

He felled the walls of Jericho, He made water spring from a rock and, through Moses, he parted the sea. These seemingly impossible achievements are overshadowed by the wonders that God works through humanity, especially when we believe in the God of possibilities. Abram trusted God when He told him he would father a great nation. Sarai even laughed at the thought of producing a child. At the end of Abraham’s life, he was a father to only two children, one of which was from his wife’s slave. He may not have seen the fulfillment of the promise, but he still believed that God could, and would, keep his promise.

.Jesus’ life on earth began with the proclamation by the angel, “for nothing is impossible with God.” (Lk 1:37) He touched many lives while He was among us; some people we know by name like the apostles, others by how they were healed. He changed their lives and they let Him do it. They, in turn, spread the news of Jesus and His message; and those who received it, continued to spread it as well. In their trust of God’s abilities, they became part of the “possibilities becoming reality.”

Jesus said, “for God all things are possible.” (Matt 19:26). Why is that so easy to doubt? Could it be that our impatience comes from wanting the possibilities now instead of being part of God’s plan unfolding over the course of time? Even if we don’t see the possibilities in our lifetime, God will not be stingy with His blessings. Perhaps we may find even greater blessings by trusting in God that what we thought was impossible, will eventually become reality.

Catholic Girl Journey

Just pray

Is it My Will or God’s Will?

Prayer, the personal conversation we have with God, is one of the principal actions in a faith journey. Through it we begin to open our hearts to Him and learn how to listen. Praying takes many forms: private or group, saying the rosary or a chaplet, following the way of the cross or reciting a litany; even Mass is a prayer.

As I have traveled my faith journey path, I’ve started to become more sensitive as to why I am praying and for what I am praying.  Generally, prayer has four aspects: adoration, contrition, petition and thanksgiving.

Some prayers of petition are straightforward. For example, my nephew’s wife is expecting their first child in July, so I’m praying for a safe delivery for the baby. But when praying for someone who has an illness, is the intention that they get well (my will), or that God give them strength as they battle the malady (God’s will)? This apparent conflict often occurs when I am praying for something specific for myself. Even when I think that I am praying for something God wants to give me, when it doesn’t occur in my timetable I start to question if I am seeking His will. Or am I asking for my will to be part of His plan?

Jesus used the parable of the widow and the corrupt judge to encourage perseverance in prayer (Luke 18:1-8). As we grow in faith and seek to do God’s will, it can be difficult to have a clear intention during prayer. “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him,” Jesus tell us. (Matt 6:8). So does that mean I don’t need to pray? No. It means that He will grant me those blessings that will help me do His will at the time I need them. It means that saying, “Lord, I’m not sure what to pray for, but I want to do you will,” is a valid petition. It means sometimes we just need to pray.