Catholic Girl Journey

Mercy’s long history

I don’t remember how I came across it, but I have noted in my study Bible the seven psalms to pray for the souls in purgatory (6, 32,38,51,102,130 and 143) each followed by a “Glory be.” These psalms focus on seeking the mercy and pardon of God and praising Him for His assistance.

While the intention is to pray these 7 prayers on behalf of the souls in purgatory, one can’t help but to reflect upon the message of each psalm. A prayer in time of distress, psalm 6 is a plea to God to be healed and ends with confidence that “the Lord has accepted my prayer.” The theme of psalm 32 is the remission of sin. It describes how “heavy” sin weighs us down, yet when we turn and confess our sins to God we can again be happy and rejoice. A prayer of an afflicted sinner, psalm 38 illustrates the physical and emotional anguish of one who is keenly aware of his broken relationship with God. It is followed by the prayer of repentance; “For I acknowledge my offense and my sin is before me always.” (Ps 51:5) Psalm 102 is another prayer in time of distress and acknowledges man’s fleeting time on earth in comparison with the everlasting God saying that even the heavens “shall perish, but you remain though all of them grow old like a garment. Like clothing you change them, and they are changed, but you are the same, and your years have no end.” (Ps 102:27-28)

My favorite verse is found in psalm 130, “If you, O Lord mark iniquities, Lord who can stand? But with you is forgiveness, that you may be revered.” This short psalm, 8 verses in total, sums up what it means to seek pardon from God and receive His mercy. Lastly, the prayer of the penitent in distress concludes with hope in God, if we but look to do His will. “May your good spirit guide me on level ground.” (Ps 143:10)

It amazes me that these prayers were written thousands of years ago, yet are very much relevant to today. We are in no less need of God’s mercy and we have these wonderful prayers that can sum up how we feel as we reach out to God for forgiveness.

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Close to home

“Not many of my friends come and visit me anymore,” my Dad remarked to me. It was almost as if a light when off in my head: visit the sick – one of the corporal works of mercy. And it was right within my family.

Struggling with Parkinson’s, my Dad is very limited to what he can do, as every movement is painfully slow. His only excursions are to the doctors. Prior to his decline, he was active and often went out with his friends for various outdoor pursuits. Now, because of his extremely limited mobility, he’s stuck at home. As I get older myself, the 2+hour drive to my parents’ house can feel like a chore. I do love them and want to spend time with them, but the travel does take a toll. I’ve usually looked at the visits as a family obligation, now I’m seeing it in a new light of being one of the works of mercy.

When I would think of visiting the sick, I think of someone who is in the hospital (or just released), someone fighting cancer or a similar disease. I never really thought of it as reaching out to a homebound elderly person. I also had the notion that the works of mercy were to be performed for strangers, not family members. Perhaps I’ve made that limitation because the best example was Jesus’ parable of the good Samaritan (Lk. 10:30-37), where it was a stranger who aided the injured man. It makes me wonder if I missed other opportunities to help people because the situation didn’t fit into a particular scenario.

I’ve heard it said that charity begins at home, and I’m beginning to see how true that is. We do learn much about how to treat others by the way we interact with our family members, no matter how old we get. Perhaps the best way of learning the works of mercy, both corporal and spiritual, is by looking for opportunities close to home and within the family.

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Just Him and me

My eyes closed. My head bowed. I was still. It was just Him and me.

During the homily, the priest mentioned that the founder of the Community of St. John wrote we are most ourselves when we are in adoration of God. That was a rather powerful statement; it resonated with me throughout the rest of the Mass.  The Community of St. John has been an inspiration to many, even aiding in conversions. The humility of all the members is evident in  the way they don’t just kneel, but bow down, even to the point of lying prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament. They know they are the created and He is their Creator.

While I do make an effort to concentrate when I attend Mass, it is very easy to get distracted. This time, I just kept thinking that I was there to adore God. It was the one and only reason to be there. Going up to receive communion, the choir was singing, “Lead me to the cross.” As I was waiting to receive, I was thinking the song was more of a Lenten song than one for a communion procession.  After receiving, I came back to the pew with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes knowing I was a vessel containing Jesus. I do often close my eyes when praying after communion; it helps to block out the distractions. This time was different; closing my eyes heightened my hearing to listen to the song. Now, it seemed very appropriate, as Jesus offered his Body for us on the cross. This same Jesus was present to me in the host as I recited the Anima Christi prayer, “…Water flowing from the side of Christ, wash me. Passion of Christ, strengthen me.” It was like I was there at the foot of the cross, praying. It was just Jesus and me.

The brightness of the lights as I opened my eyes brought me back to church. A precious moment with such intensity is a rare occasion. I wish everyone could, at least just once in their lifetime, have a similar experience, feeling Jesus’ presence, not just physically in the host, but spiritually in the soul.

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Hungry

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.” (Mt. 5:6)

What are you hungry for? There are many kinds of hunger. The most obvious is the hunger for food.  Even with our nation’s surplus, many still go hungry for lack of food. But there is another kind of hunger, an urge for something more. Some look to success in the workplace; if we can just get one step higher on the ladder of success, we think that will satisfy us. For some it is the family; if we can just get our family perfect, the yearning will cease. Yet when we hear the Sermon on the Mount or the Beatitudes, do we ever put ourselves in the place of one of those who hungers?

What does it mean to be hungry? In regards to food, even if we have plenty to eat, we can still get hungry. We need to keep eating at intervals during the day to keep our bodies going and be strong enough to complete our daily tasks. So what does it mean  to be hungry for righteousness? Righteousness is defined as following a moral good or divine law. So how can we be hungry for following God’s law? Have you ever felt the urge to live the 10 Commandments?

Just like the daily desire for food to nourish our bodies, we have a daily desire to come closer to God and to do His will. It is that need that drives us to seek Him out: in prayer, at Mass, in receiving Holy Communion and in bringing Him to others. Jesus promises us we will be satisfied. But as the need for food is with us daily, so too is the need for Him.  And at the end of every good meal, we feel a sense of fullness, so too when we do the will of God we may also have some sense of satisfaction. Yet each day will be a new opportunity to hunger and thirst until we are at last in the Kingdom of God.

Keeping the comparison of hungering for food to that of striving to do God’s will, we can take comfort in the daily satisfaction it brings us.  Our daily struggle to respond to this hunger helps keep despair away as we face what often seems like a Godless world.

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Nooks and crannies

I believe that God is in control of all aspects of my life. At least that’s what I tell myself.

As much as I try to turn things over to God, I am always surprised by how much I hold onto. I do trust that He has my best interests in His plans. Yet as much as I tell Him I’m turning this part of my life over to His care and direction, somewhere down the road I find a piece of that I have held onto. Sometimes it’s because things are working smoothly in that area of my life and I don’t think that it needs His intervention. Other times it could be that I’m afraid that He will challenge me to seek His will in a way that I would not choose. It’s like I want to do His will as long as it’s the same as mine.

Fear is an interesting motivator. It makes us think that we have control over a situation, when in reality, it is only our response to the situation that we can control. When I find some part of my life I am still trying to control, I try to figure out why. Usually it comes down to the fact that I’m afraid of what God can do. I’ve gotten used to one perspective or a bad habit, and I’m afraid that changing it will hurt. But as a Catholic, when I really look at what God has provided so far, I feel quite foolish in my reasoning. He has blessed me with so much: life, faith, home and family. So why should I fear the hurt and disruption that change can bring? God has proved Himself more than generous in many areas where I have allowed Him to lead. It’s these nooks and crannies that I’ve hidden, both from God and myself, that can trip me up in my relationship with Him.

The journey to find the places of myself that I haven’t given over to God’s guidance will last a lifetime and perhaps even beyond. I may need purgatory to cleanse those tiny places that keep me from a complete relationship with Him. I am grateful that He is both mercy and love; patiently encouraging me to search those nooks and crannies and face my fears with the help of His grace.

Catholic Girl Journey

Baking is like faith

I was eager to try out my new bratform that I received for Christmas. I fed the sourdough for a few days, then, when it seemed bubbly enough, I stirred it into a pre-ferment and let it sit overnight. In the morning, I mixed in the remaining ingredients and kneaded it until it seemed as the directions indicated, soft but still sticky. I let it rise, giving it a fold halfway through the rising time of 2 hours. I placed it in the lined bratform, a traditional coiled cane bowl used to shape artisan loaves. Then I set it in the refrigerator overnight for maximum sourdough flavor.  In the morning, the dough came out beautifully onto the parchment paper and I slashed steam vents in the top as artistically as I could. Into the oven it went and I happily set the timer for 30 minutes.

When the timer went off and I opened the oven, my face fell. Rather than escaping through the top, the steam came out the bottom! Instead of a lovely domed-shaped loaf, it had a huge bread bubble on the bottom, making it sit lopsided. I knew what happened, but not why. I took a picture and emailed it to the folks I met at a baking class over the summer. To my surprise, it was the instructor who answered back, and on a Sunday as well! She provided some theories as to the cause and suggestions for future baking.

She closed her email by saying, “Keep at it!” Until then, I never thought of baking as a journey, more of an activity. In a way, it’s very similar to my faith journey. Sometimes I’ll get it right and sometimes I won’t, but I need to keep trying. I also need to seek out assistance from those who are on the journey with me; those who have had more experience as well as those whose gift is to offer a different perspective. Even with the dozens of loaves I’ve made over the years, each loaf, like each opportunity, is different. Just following the directions does not guarantee the same results, as the air temperature, dough temperature and many other factors play a part in how much time will be required for rising or baking. Our lives constantly offer us new challenges and ways to grow in our faith. It can be easy to say that we’re “following the directions” or that we have enough experiences to know how to handle anything that comes up. Perhaps even more so, our faith journey needs to be encouraged and nurtured.

While some New Year resolutions may have come and gone, it’s never too late to start to look for opportunities that will help us on our faith journey. Take a class, help out at the parish, or spend time weekly on spiritual reading; when we cultivate relationships and resources, it creates a network we can refer to when our journey hits a bump in the road.

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Would you follow a star?

Would you follow a star? What if it meant going to another country where you have never been? In the Gospel of Matthew, the story of the astrologers, or the three wise men as they often have been named, begins when they arrive in Jerusalem. They were looking for the newborn King of the Jews, and where else should they look but in the palace of the capital city?

While there are many theories and stories about the men and what could have been their journey, the gospel presents us with just enough information for us to ponder what that means for our own lives. These were men who were knowledgeable; they were able to interpret nature to understand that a king was newly born, and not just any king, but one special enough to warrant their attention and gifts. They were also men who either could, or chose to put their life on hold to make such journey. They were also open enough to be directed by a dream that instructed them to go back home via a different route.

When we look at nature what do we see? Leaves strewn on the ground that need to be raked. A sun shining so brightly we need to wear sunglasses. Snow falling so quickly that we can barely keep up shoveling out our cars and walkways. Instead of looking at nature for signs of God, it often seems that nature is just a nuisance to be tolerated. What if we looked at nature as messengers? Would we be able to correctly interpret the signs like those astrologers? Would we be able to put our lives aside to follow their revelation? Or do we need an unmistakable sign from God like the shepherds received, with a host of angels praising God and telling them where to find the newborn?

The narrative of Christmas involves being on a journey: Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem, the shepherds to see the newborn and the astrologers to see the king. Each journey is a faith journey and is different based on the person and God’s plan for them. As we begin a New Year, how can we take these Christmas stories and bring them to life in our own faith journey?

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Best

“That first Christmas, God gave us His best.” This is on the front of the Christmas card my parents sent me this year. I read that simple line and tears started down my cheeks.  It may be simple, but it’s very profound.

God’s generosity cannot be outdone. God the Father gave us a bit of Himself through His Son to save us. Jesus did not magically appear and claim that all was forgiven and that we’re now sons and daughters of God. As Saint Paul reminds us, “Rather, he emptied himself and took the form of a slave, being born in the likeness of men. He was known to be of human estate…” (Phil 2:7). God’s best was born just like the rest of us. He lived, working as a carpenter until he began his public ministry. He was like you and me, and yet so much more. He knows our challenges and successes, because He dwelt in the midst of people just like you and me. He is our role model in being a child of God.

During the course of a year it’s hard to bring out best to everything. But at Christmas, we all want it to be the best it can be …. or do we want it to be perfect as we imagine perfection to be?  We want to give our friends and family the best we have. When Jesus came, God’s messengers announced the good news to the working shepherds of the day, humble and poor men. Do we give our best to those who are in need, those we don’t know? As we celebrate the birthday of Jesus, do we give Him our best? I know I never seem to have enough time to get the things I “have” to get done in order to celebrate Christmas. But time is a precious gift that God gives us; do we spend some of that time with Him (and without thinking about the long checklist of items yet to be completed)?

Every year the youth group of my parish put on a Living Nativity the Sunday before Christmas. They always do their best. It may not be perfect, but it’s done with love and serves as a great reminder of the events that occurred over 2000 years ago, and how God’s best continues to truly be a gift that keeps giving.

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Fullness of time

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to ransom those under the law, so that we might receive adoption.” (Gal 4:4). These words from Paul have been read at Mass numerous times. This last week of advent, they seem to take on even more meaning.

I love the beginning phrase of that sentence, “the fullness of time.” If I were going to illustrate that, it would be a strawberry at its peak of ripeness, all red, juicy and sweet; a feast for all the senses. God sends His promise when the time is ripe for mankind to receive it. If He sent His Son right after the fall of Adam and Eve, it would not have the same impact. God spent centuries teaching fallen man how to reconnect with Him. He created a people by seeking out individuals like Abraham, Isaac, Moses and David, to help their fellow man have a relationship with God the Father. In the Christmas Eve vigil gospel, we hear the careful preparation of man in the lineage from which Jesus is born.

Advent is a time for us to prepare ourselves to receive Jesus at his birth. The Church gives us four Sundays to prepare. It seems that once we get to the Fourth Sunday in Advent, Christmas cannot come fast enough, especially when Christmas falls on a Sunday, a whole 7 days to wait! Christmas comes in the fullness of God’s time, not ours. It’s very easy to get caught up in planning for and anticipating the Christmas celebration, that we don’t experience each day that leads up to Christmas. If Christmas came tomorrow, we would not be ready, yet our anticipation can often lead us to wish it would come immediately.

God does not delay; He delivers His promise at the time He chooses that will be of the greatest blessing to us. In the last week of Advent, let’s practice preparing to receive His blessing by patiently enduring the wait.

Catholic Girl Journey

Sounds of the season

How many holidays do you know that have songs about them that are played in public places?

There are many songs about love that can be played for St. Valentine’s day and number of patriotic songs that can be played for Independence Day, but most holidays don’t have songs that are played on the radio or in television shows and commericals. Christmas is different. As Thanksgiving is the traditional “start” of the season, songs about Christmas begin to play in the days leading up to that holiday.

No matter what genre of music you like, there are holiday songs made for you. From the silly “Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer” to the traditional “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” many artists have their own renditions of what the songs should sound like. There are plenty of songs that are secular in nature or that don’t even mention the holiday at all, but are still considered holdiay songs, like “Let it Snow” and “Marshmallow World” (one of my favorites). In this era of political correctness, many events are changing their names to replace ‘Christmas’ with ‘Holiday’ and there are enough songs out there to do that.

“Silent Night,” “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and “O Come All Ye Faithful” are all Christ-centered songs. When I hear them in public locations, like the LA airport or a travel agency office, it is a delightful surprise. I notice when songs like these are played, even as background music in commericals and television programs. I rejoice hearing them, as those songs contain the true message of what Christmas is all about.

No matter how many times I hear them during the month of December, when it comes to Christmas Mass, I am overcome with emotion at the meaning of the words. It’s the realization of the moment that we have been waiting for has finally arrived. Every word of each song bursts forth in celebration. It’s both humbling and exhalting to sing of God’s glory and love, as we join our earthly voices to the heavenly chorus of saints and angels.